Father Death Poem

Walking down the hospital corridor
I grip hold of my mum’s hand,
Fighting against the tears.

Because, only an hour ago,
I had been told my father had cancer.
And only an hour ago,
My life came to a screeching halt.
Somehow, my hair isn’t a priority
Make-up doesn’t even cross my mind.
I just feel a raging, overwhelming need to be with my
Dad.

The rain is dripping off the window pane.
Tip-tap, Tip-tap, Tip.
I can hear my sister’s tiny shoes pound the hospital floor
Bless her little soul.
She’s clinging onto my mum’s hands.
Unable to walk independently
At a mere 7 months old.

Her infectious giggle is echoing in the
Deathly silent corridors
She points to a passing car outside
“Ooooh!” She squeals.

Her delicate, innocent, angel face
Puts a sorrowful smile on mine.
Would she be so content if she knew what was going on?

As the ward door approaches,
I freeze on the spot
“Natalie, come on. Dad’s waiting for us”

In my mind, I want to. I really do.
But physically, I just can’t.
I’m scared.
Scared he’s not coming home.
Scared he’s going to die in that very bed.

I feel my mum’s arms around me.
Smell the comforting smell of her Channel perfume
Feel her hands stroking my hair
And then, I realize… I’m crying.

But as heartless as it sounds, I don’t’ feel a connection to her.
I am unable to feel her, emotionally.
I don’t feel anything towards her.
I’m so selfish
She needs me.
And I just can’t elate to her
The Beginning by Natalie Parkinson @FamilyFriendPoems

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I'm 17 years old, and I find great comfort in writing poems, about my father's death. He died from pancreatic cancer, when I was 16, leaving my mum with a 10 month old baby. There isn't a word or thought that could ease my pain, but writing these poems helps me to justify my feelings, an I find a real sense of serenity when I write one. My dad is sadly missed, and as it's coming up to the 2 year anniversary of this death, the pain is slowly, and gradually easing a little. God bless all you other people in my situation.