Sickness Poem

Poem About A Loved One Suffering With Dementia

My mum has been suffering from dementia for 4 years and is now in a residential home. She is 84, and up until the age of 78, she was still working and driving. She doesn't remember her husband or myself and my 2 sisters. In fact, there is no recognition in her memory of the life she had before the dementia. It seems such a cruel disease to wipe out a person's life completely that it inspired me to write this poem. I am sure it will relate to a lot of people experiencing this "loss" of a loved one.

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Hello. I can so relate to what you have said. and of course more than what you have said. My Dad got dementia when he was 83. He wouldn't accept that he needed help and I would take weeks...

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A Forgotten Life

Published by Family Friend Poems August 2014 with permission of the Author.

She resides in a home, sits in a chair,
Nothing to bother her, make her worry or care.
Caretakers to help her wash and dress,
Doing all that they can not to cause her distress.
She smiles and accepts the care that they give,
The meals and the medicines she depends on to live.

Her mind should have memories both good and bad.
Why can't she remember the life she once had?
Not aware of the people who came to see her today
Or what they told her, or how long the stay.

Family and friends she no longer knows.
Just a flicker of remembrance occasionally shows.
The memories are gone, now just a blank, empty space,
Remembering nothing she had before she came to this place.

Is she sad and afraid? She can't let us know
Because these are emotions she's unable to show.
All that's changed is her mind. She is still there,
The same person for whom I always will care.
I'll always remember what she means to me
Because she's my mum, who else could she be?

more by Linda Harrison

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by Lyndell Muirhead
9 years ago

Hello. I can so relate to what you have said. and of course more than what you have said. My Dad got dementia when he was 83. He wouldn't accept that he needed help and I would take weeks off work to take him to specialists but to no avail. I truly believed that if I put all my time into him and took him to many specialists that I could take it all away. It didn't work. He used to get angry and accused me of hiding his eye drops and got angry when I made him take his medication. He just would not admit that he had a problem. It absolutely broke my heart to see a man who I always looked up to, who was so strong just fall apart with this horrible disease. What I didn't know at the time was he was giving all his money to "so called friends". I did not want his money at all. I wanted him to be healthy and to keep living. I always promised him I would never put him in a nursing home and I would spend 24 hours a day caring for him. But when he fell and broke his hip and couldn't work I had no option. So I spent every day visiting him in the nursing home, all day and sometimes sleep there at nights hoping that the next day would be better but it never was. He couldn't move, walk or talk. It broke my heart so much. I lost him just over 2 years ago and I still grieve terribly. I have no family left and the only way I can cope is to paint my house. To keep my mind off all the sadness of not losing him but also my whole family. I am now totally on my own and I have made a few feeble attempts at suicide. I have had 3 heart attacks and 3 lots of cancer but I am still here. I often wonder why? I miss him terribly even though he was of a generation when some days he would have his cranky pants on and take it out on me. All I can say is that you must remember what your Mum was like in the "good old days" and keep remembering that. Your Mum has no idea what she is saying or doing. I guess in many ways it is a blessing.

Fondest Regards
Lyndell