Do You Have An Answer?

• by Kaylye McDonald
• 4 years ago

My mother chose an abusive man over me. Two years ago, I was 17. It was also the first day of 2017. My mother's boyfriend had too much to drink that night. He put his hands on the both of us. He choked her. I brought him to court, and I moved out the very next day. My mother chose to stay with him. Two years later, they are now married. I have not spoken to her since she told me the news a few weeks ago. My heart and soul have been shattered, and I will never be the same without my mom.

• by Katie
• 6 years ago

I'm only 12, but my mom met this guy and she got so into drugs that she forgot about me (and the dogs). To this day, I hate what she did. She cheated on this guy while he was in jail for her. My brother, Logan, died on his first birthday because of her doing drugs. All of the questions in this poem are what I want to ask her.

• by Stacey
• 6 years ago

Yes, thanks everyone for sharing your stories. I am so sorry to hear these stories. It's unimaginable. I don't feel alone in my feelings about my mother. She died a year ago and left her entire estate to her husband, including personal belongings. Her third husband who cheated on her with her hairdresser (among others) and never held a job. She knew she was dying, and up until her last breath told us lies that my brother and I would be covered. Of course we weren't. I don't look for handouts nor am I entitled, but I wanted the truth. A month after her passing I got cancer and have had to go through so much to figure out how to get by. So yes, I was angry, disappointed. It's so crazy and backward to think flesh and blood would be passed over for a narcissistic spouse. Everyone saw it, but she refused to acknowledge it. More damage done with him than without. I have learned a lot. This did not break me; it taught me. I am stronger and wiser as a result.

• by J Dana Deal
• 7 years ago

This story touched my heart. I am 51 years old and at the age of 45 had a massive stroke. I was in the best shape of my life. A few years later, my mother met a man. I encouraged her to go for "lunch." She said she wasn't ready. It's sad every day for me and my identical twin sister. We were all so close. My health condition is what really really blows my mind. HOW/WHY WOULD any mother do this? Is it the boyfriend that is so insecure of her sick daughter? My sister and I will never understand this. She is our mother, our blood. I will never understand. For this 19 year old gal, I am so sorry. I understand. It's NOT right. I will think of you often.

• by Ashley
• 7 years ago

I am currently dealing with this now and I feel more alone than ever. I am currently 19 years old living with my grandpa 45 minutes away from my school and boyfriend because my mom chose her boyfriend, who has narcissistic personality disorder, over her own daughter. My parents divorced when I was only three and since then I've seen my mom will a million guys. None of them worth a crap. But this one is by far the worst. He constantly would mentally abuse my mom and me or tell us something about our weight. (I'm 5'0 and 119lbs) He's left and come back into our home at least 4 times. The last time, my mom told me she wouldn't let him back in. I go out of town for one night and Bam, she's sleeping at his house. I've cried to her, begging not to take him back. I've had nightmares about him. & now its like my nightmares are reality. I gave her an ultimatum and can you guess who won? PS she's only known him for 2 years., I need help on how to deal with this. We used to be so close..

• by David, Ontario
• 9 years ago

I think the hardest part is the lack of closure. I watched my mother's actions speak louder than her words as she consistently chose her boyfriend and his kids over my brother and I, it drives me crazy that to this day my mother will never apologize or admit to making any mistake. In her eyes my brother and I just try and attack her and she plays the victim. I don't really talk to my mom anymore because every time we talk my frustration with her choices is displayed through my mannerism and we just end up fighting.

But one thing a friend told me has put my mind to ease a little. Think of things this way; what your mother says to you is much more significant than what you say to her. She has been in your life YOUR WHOLE LIFE, where on the other hand you have only been in her life most likely a third of her life or so. So the things you say to her will never resonate as much with her as the things she says to you. I

• by Lulu, Alberta
• 12 years ago

This poem echoes my thoughts. My Mom's partner sexually abused me for 2 yrs from age 11. At age 18, I finally told her. She didn't believe me--until we trapped him into admitting it. She later married him, so I felt like she chose him over me, and I think she blames me. He was an alcoholic and womanizer. I recently left a 19-yr marriage because of abuse, and guess whose side Mom took? Not mine. Her heart of compassion is for strangers--not family.

• by Brittany
• 13 years ago

Wow! I ask myself the same questions all the time. I look at my own daughters and vow to never let our relationship turn out the way me and my mom's did. The worst part is that she won't even admit to any wrongdoing. Drives me nuts. I completely cut her out of my life. My kids don't know her and they never will. I love my kids too much to expose them to her. Thanks for the poem, nice to know there are others out there experiencing the same things. No one should be mother-less...

• by Cindy
• 13 years ago

This sums up my daughter who walked out on her daughter whom we are raising.

• by Mel Mc Farlane
• 14 years ago

this is sad but its so true, my mum did that to me when I was 15, replaced by a new partner and that was the end of me and my mum, as much as I cried and screamed out to her she just turned the other way, till the point I turned all my hurt and pain into hate and rage and she wonders why. I've been battling her for nearly 15 years and she simply doesn't care, why have kids I ask myself each and every day

• by Crystal
• 15 years ago

I was always my mother's little girl. Sure she liked to party and sleep around but she was still my mother. Then she married a guy she had only known for a few months. I did not like the guy because of how he treated her. Then on my tenth birthday she gave me to my aunt and uncle, because I had told her of my feelings. I haven't seen her in over two years, but what I hear is that he still beats her. I just don't understand why someone could live this way.