Abuse Poem

This is a memory I have from when I was a little girl. I don't know if this happened word for word, what I do know is this- My Daddy stole my childhood, my daddy sexually abused me.

Daddy And His Girl

© Aelfin
Trapped in a box, eating up the oxygen.
Breath fast, fast, faster
Fight to swallow all of my chances.
Before he comes with the rise of the sun.
I dread the moment when the light filters in,
Avert my eyes. I play dead, dead, dead all day.
He takes his time. I hear him rise.
And feel the room swell with his bigness as he enters.
Lifts the lid and laughs. His breath is stronger
than my little cardboard world. Hands slip down
Around my waist. I curse my size, I curse my gender.
He moves in silence, baring his ferocious yellow teeth.
Our wide, wide eyes. I see myself inside his face.
lie me down. I don't fight. Because I lost that will when I lost
myself, to him. Out of control. His warm flesh
Pressing against my own cold bones.
Soft safe fabrics pulled down. Power, covering me whole.
His jaw slides into my collarbone, licking at my childhood.
And his eyes are closed as he steals another piece
of his little girl. He almost looks fragile, in that moment.
I focus on his familiar features, and his long, long eyelashes,
Tickling my neck. Pressure builds and I bite my tongue
Hard, hard harder. I make my own pain. Taste the blood.
And in a final strike it will all be over. Slicing me,
Scarring me. I feel his sweat and his warmth all over me.
Short, sharp movement and he moves away from me.
Cleans me quickly. Arms briefly hold me, lift me.
Down, down, down into my cardboard world.
Wipes his stained hands and I know I'm always filthy.
He doesn't make a sound, as he turns, he goes, he leaves me.

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Published: Oct 2008

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  • You are not alone. I know exactly what you're going through. It was hard to actually open my mouth especially to my mother and all the police and detectives because they're all strangers learning my story just like everyone else who is reading this now. At first I was humiliated and embarrassed about my story, but I've learned that with experiences, comes knowledge. And I've learned a lot through these past four years. I've seen how much I've helped people and saved people who are going through what I am. Please never feel like you're alone, there's always someone out there in your situation. ALWAYS Never give up because that is letting the perpetrator win and if you have ever been the victim of sexual abuse or any crime, you should know that 1) its never your fault, no matter how many excuses you can try to come up with to make it seem like it is your fault it isn't And 2) never ever keep quiet about something like this Tell someone, Anyone and get you AND the perp. some help

    christina Submitted May 2009
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  • I love this poem cause it happen to me with dad. I didn't talk about it with my mom, but I told my friend about it.

    Jennifer Sanchez Submitted May 2009
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  • I feel your pain. For years my stepfather raped me but it was not until I had my own girls that I could admit it to anyone. My mother stood by me 100% & she is still my rock. I became a nurse & after I admitted the abuse I was able to work with patients who had also been abused. While I hate what my stepfather did to me & it will always be a part of who I am, in many ways it has made me a better, stronger person. Be strong sweetheart. Your mother should be charged. Don't let him win, use that anger & frustration & let it make you stronger. You can survive I promise. I did & while I still suffer some, I'm also stronger in so many ways. I became a more understanding & compassionate person. I learned not to judge others but to recognize so many cries for help. You are brave. Writing that poem & working with the police is so brave. Stay strong & God be with you. I know it feels like he isn't but I'm a firm believer in "That which does not kill us only makes us stronger"

    Pam, Virginia Submitted Jun 2012
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