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Depression Poem

I am a twenty year old college student struggling all the time and words cannot express the depression I feel daily. not because of chemical imbalances, but because of the many past events that haunt may every waking moment and my every dream.

Eternally Alone

© Joshua Lawson
where can I go?
how can I begin.
At 20 I'm still depressed
I tried taking my life at ten
I began hurting so long ago
I thought id be numb by now
but it gets worse. it feels
like salted wounds on the inside.
I cry out to no help!
my family isn't there for me and
neither are any friends. I cry out
Oh God yet the silence never ends.
why? what have I done?
Oh Lord I take it back starting from day one.
why can't I be loved, why cant I be touched.
am I jinxed? am I vexed? am I cursed?
I long to die, but they say its wrong
ill go to hell!! so I bleed. I bleed hate, I bleed confusion
I bleed eternal despair.
I have been abandoned and used.
I have been hated and abused.
No father, no friends. no one to depend.
hated my childhood cause I was always alone.
I was shown little affection even now that I'm grown.
I want things to change I don't know how,
ill die if something doesn't happen now.
where is my hero?
I need saving from this isolation
will it happen or will I be eternally alone?

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Rating: 4.49

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Published: Sep 2008

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  • I know how you feel I'm 13 and all I want to do is die but I'm learning to live with the pain. Sometimes it's better to go on keep trying ,someone is out there for you even if you have no one now. Try turning to God, that's what I did and it makes it easier to go on.

    Samantha Submitted Mar 2010
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  • Dear Joshua, You''re not alone in your struggle. I wanted to share this video link with you to a powerful message that can change your life...if you choose to let it.

    Jodie, Canada Submitted Mar 2010
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  • at age 8 I started to try and take my life
    I drank a sip a perfume I almost thought I was dead when I found out I just passed out, this is the truth, and I know it sounds funny to you but if you knew what I go through I would not be funny to you.

    Alma Submitted Oct 2010
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  • Joshua Lawson I want you to know if I ever meet you. I'll be your friend, and I'd always listen, I'd love you with all my heart and make sure you were never alone, no seriously (I'd come over everyday and make sure your smiling) but keep looking for new people to meet because there are people like me in this world who are willing to be your friend and be truly happy when they know your happy. So please keep trying a little longer.

    Jordan, Virgina Beach Submitted Dec 2010
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  • PLEASE PEOPLE READ THIS MESSAGE:: Please people, I know and realize times are tough, but please don't EVER under ANY circumstances take your life, whether you believe it or not there are people who love you. Please find strength and do the smart thing, DON'T TAKE YOUR LIFE! PLEASEEE!! if you can tell others how you feel, therapy, counseling, anything, just please oh please don't take your life. I know how hard things can be, trust me, but believe it or not, you're loved and you are much smarter and stronger then you believe....<3

    Anomynous Submitted Dec 2011
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  • I know how you feel and I'm crying because everyday I feel like ending my life because the pain is unbearable but I've learned to open up and talk to my school counselor and thanks to her I'm still alive because now I know someone cares and I'm not alone .... and neither are you

    Poughkeepsie Submitted Mar 2012
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  • I know how you feel. trust me. I'm 17 and have had depression my whole life. Even as a baby apparently, but I know what you're going through. The struggle to sleep and to get out of bed everyday knowing that there's basically no reason to go on but still trying. I tried ending my life at 14. I failed and that opened my eyes to one person that truely cares about me. So I struggle for that person everyday, but they are worth it even if it doesn't seem like it, they are!

    Jay Submitted 5/27/2012
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  • I'm 11, I have depression and my bestfriend's mom was the one who brought it on, now I don't want to get out of bed, I wish to be a happy person, my bestfriend's mom said that I was a problem and needed to stay away from my best friend. She said her grades were falling just because of me and I felt like the world was ending, now I just long to go back and fix what I did wrong. I don't understand though what I did. My friend said " hey Ash, where'd your spunky self go", I don't have a answer so I don't answer. Today was the first time I laughed for real in a few weeks.

    Ash, Idaho Submitted 3/9/2013
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