I Was Just A Baby

The road I have been down is really scary,
I'm making it... barely.
I stay so ashamed of my life because of it's past,
the memories are still here and I want them gone fast.
All of the abuse and molestation,
has caused me so much confusion and frustration.
The beatings and the cussings has scarred my heart,
so let me tell it all to you from the start.
The first time I was only three,
I was just a baby can't you see?
It went on until I was nine,
I thought I would be able to leave it all behind.
He took me to a broken down bridge,
he threatened me as he dragged me down the ridge.
He said if I told he would turn me inside out,
so I just lay there wanting to scream and shout.
I remember the way it hurt,
as blood started pouring out onto the dirt.
I wanted my mommy so badly,
while he was enjoying it gladly.
He covered my mouth and whispered in my ear,
"It happens to all the bad girls my dear".
He then forced me to get on top and was making me ride,
he said "isn't this fun?" as he squeezed my sides.
I hurt so much and it was to much to bare,
the sad thing is, he was my papaw and he didn't even care.
The day was getting darker and was getting cold,
the "routine" was tiresome and was getting old.
After I felt something squishy inside of me,
he zipped his pants and said "that wasn't so bad, see".
As he headed back to the truck,
he said "tomorrow will be better when again we fuck".
He never even helped me put my clothes back on,
instead he crank the truck and he was gone.
I spent the night all alone,
wanting my mommy, wanting to go home.
He left me naked lying on the ground,
mommy thought I was safe and sound.
Morning came, I heard him coming,
I even heard his humming.
He looked at me and said "you're nothing but a whore,
you're the kind of girl I really adore".
It happened many more times and mommy still never knew,
she never even had a clue.
My papaw molested and raped me,
and no one ever knew they thought he loved me.