Lip Stick Smile

This poem sums up everything I feel. I'm 17 and in terrible heart ache. I suffer from chronic depression and many other mental illnesses. Everyone makes fun of me that I'm crazy. The sad part is I smile and put up a great front so know one even knows how much pain I'm in. Often I wonder maybe they do see and they just don't care. I always feel like I'm never enough, that I'm unworthy of love, and I hate that I'm always left behind. My best friend today told me she lost her virginity to her boyfriend. She's like me and even she has moved on leaving me totally alone. Worst part is I'm madly in love with this boy. We had a thing for a moment there I thought he was the one. He listened to me and acted like he genuinely cared but then when I went to visit him I found out majority of our time he had a girlfriend that he loved. I know they will stay together or he will find someone else who isn't me. I know he will never love me the way I love him. But I still long for him. I feel so alone.