Lost Innocence

• by Joyce Clem
• 6 years ago

When I was 13 my world fell apart. My father started sexually abusing me. It went on till I was 16. Then he started making me go to the basement so he could take naked pictures of me. It went on till I got engaged at 17 1/2. I got married to get away from my father. He would always give me the back of his hand whenever he was in a bad mood, my dad.

• by L, USA
• 10 years ago

So when I was 13, I first moved into a new state. I barely even had my first kiss and actually didn't know what sexual things were, heh. My cousin stayed over a night and he was 12, a few months younger then I. He and I had to share a room, along with our younger brothers. Our brothers would fall asleep quickly, always. My cousin would come close to me and say "You'll never be pretty like our other cousins unless people touch you". Then, he'd begin to caress my body and touch those areas.. I wouldn't move nor make a sound because I didn't understand. The only thing I knew was that I guess a guy finally found me pretty? After that would happen, I'd go take burning hot baths/showers since I felt so disgusting. Even though I wasn't sexually abused as "badly" I still feel as if something was taken from me those days since we'd go swimming and when the adults were gone, he'd touch me underwater. I am 17 now, and when I speak of it I still begin to scratch and pinch at my body at how ugly I feel. It is still taking me a while to get over this, molestation I believe it is called. I sometimes don't want to call it abuse since I feel some people say anyone who say "abuse is rape, not touching". So yeah, it is difficult with those memories. I hope everyone else is happy, and getting past these difficult times.

• by Emmy
• 10 years ago

This poem makes me feel much better I was sexually abused myself from about 6 years old to 12 years by my mums ex boyfriend I have recently turned 14 years and still scarred by the effects it left. the trial finished about last year and got the him sent to prison for 2 years then he came to Shoreham and saw me with my friends after I told my mum and he got sent back to prison for breaking his bail conditions LOL!!! which is good because is no longer allowed any closer than 25-50 yards near me!!!!!

so I have some advice if any of this is happening to you PLEASE TELL FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY

• by Emmie Vicary
• 11 years ago

From the age of 3 to 5 I was molested and know one knew. I never knew my real mom or dad so that was a mystery to me. Then when I was 1 1/2 I was adopted and still never knew my mom or dad. My adopted brother molested me all the time and I never told my mom but when I was 12 I was raped and still never told my mom or anyone till now. I've been in foster care for a beating that I got since I was 12 1/2 so I guess its just a part of life now I have just had my 15 birthday and my love of my life broke my heart on my b day so I don't know. He was the only person that knew my story and I'm scared he's going to try to tell everyone. He was my "first" technically so I mean I still love him and always will. It's just this poem lets me know that I don't need to hide anymore and to be scared of my past any more so thanks for giving me hope. In the mean time I will hope the best for you this is Emmie Janine Vicary thanks soooo much

• by Thomas Dowling
• 11 years ago

I was abused at the age of 2 to 5. It was the terrible years of my life. My step- dad would rip mine and my sisters clothes off and he would rape us. It was terrible, but thank you for the story I'm really sorry for the abuse. I don't know if you're out there but you're a survivor and don't let any one tear you down. God has your back..... thank you

• by Mekayla, Wisconsin
• 11 years ago

I was sexually assaulted when I was 3 and raped by the same person 10 years later at a church.... my dad was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive.... my dad brought home 5 of his friends when I was about 6 and they gang raped me that night... I struggle with self harm and depression

• by Jk, Auckland
• 11 years ago

Hi jk is not my real name I want to hide it anyway. I am 16 years old and my dad has been hitting me since I was 6. I grew up thinking it was discipline and it was the norms but the more I went through it the more I realized that it was abuse I am turning 17 in May and although I hate what I am going through I don't want to leave because the way I see it if he hits me he won't touch my younger brother and sisters. I've told so many people but they cant help because my mum and dad know how to trick people so I result to isolation whenever I'm alone or in a group I keep to myself but one day I will be free I need help emotionally but your poem made me cry and bring an understanding but I only get hit and put down, no sexual abuse but I still understand thank you

• by Allicat
• 11 years ago

It does get easier. I had the same thing happen to me. My dad molested me from 9-14. At first I hated myself and everyone around me except him because even though he was hurting me he was the only around. He basically brainwashed me into believing nobody loved me. Finally I went to church and accept Jesus Christ and learned to forgive myself and him and I have never felt better. I'm 18 now and trying to put him away for good! I wasn't the first nor his last and I'm speaking out. As much as it hurts and as crazy as it sounds you have to forgive your attacker and yourself otherwise it will always be carried with you. You can never be a child again. They took that but don't allow them to take the rest of your life too. You have to forgive them. Otherwise you will carry hatred and bitterness with you and they will always control you. It's not easy but so worth it. I am a success story. I found a man that I know won't hurt me or my child. Happiness is out there.

• by Laura, UK
• 11 years ago

This poem hit me hard! When I was four my mam got with my stepdad married him and had my two little brothers to him (I adore my little brothers) I loved this man looked up to him as a dad cos mine wasn't around. But when I was ten when my stepdad started to sexually abuse me this when on for years. I finally spoke out in March this year. To this day it's still just as hard, I don't trust men anymore I just want to know, does it get any easier?

• by Misha Newton
• 11 years ago

Damn I never knew people knew how I feel or that I was abused the same way you was

• by Dean-Na
• 12 years ago

I was sexually assaulted by my uncle in grade 8 and I came out in grade 10. My mom told me not to tell anyone because she didn't want it to ruin her family but all I could think is what about me ? This poem was great , I love to write about what happened to me and this helps to know people will listen. I went to court in grade 11 but I was to afraid to tell my mom the court date, I go back in grade 12, maybe I will be able to tell my mom before I go, I hope so.

• by Rina
• 12 years ago

When I was 5 and I just moved in a city in a big mansion I met these 2 boys and they were my neighbors and they were 5 too and we were all the best of friends. We played every single day and I didn't know better. Then one day, one of them showed me their room and I said WOW I love your room! :D and then he told me Wanna play a game? and I said Sure! :D and so he told me to take off my clothes (which I did) and he took of his and he told me to go on the bed and went on top of me I asked him 'What game is this? and he said A game and so on you know what happens.. And then his dad knew what was happening and said I would like to play that game with you and I knew a bit better and said No because my mother said it was bad so his dad abused me when nobody was home. Ripped my clothes off and raped me like there was no tomorrow. He did it every time nobody was home and I told my parents and then my parents started to yell at him and then he told me if he sees me again he's going to hurt me and he started to point a knife at me and I ran away. Then I moved out. And when I was in 3rd grade I moved back in and the father saw me and never recognized me and the boy didn't either so I tried to avoid them and then a year later I moved out again and I was relieved. Now I'm 10 and I'm scarred for life of what happened. I felt guilty of what happened and I learned my lesson and moved on.

• by Cameron WV
• 12 years ago

I was abandoned by my mom at 11 months old. She gave me to her sister and her sister gave me to complete strangers. Well when I was 3 that's when everything started. I was getting molested by 3 guys and abused by the 2 parents. This went on for 9 years until I finally told my aunt. She went to the West Virginia DHHR and told them what was going on and the very next day I was taking out of the home and was threatened by them people that if they ever seen me again they would kill me for telling. Well I was only 11 at the time that I got taken out of the house I didn't know how to handle everything so I handled it my way. I got into fights, never tried in school, etc. So the state removed me from me foster home and put me into placement I was in placement for 4 years. I just got out June 17 2011. When I got out I went back to the same foster home.

• by Kayleigh
• 12 years ago

I was 3 when I was raped by my cousin and thought it was just a new game and it continued for layers until I realized what was happening and when I told my mum she told the cops and he got jailed for 20 years for assault but I am scarred and always will be :( xx love your honesty

• by Valma, Australia
• 12 years ago

I am so glad you are admitting to your pain now. I am 45 and suffered years of abuse from family members and friends, and raped at 17. I have lived with all of this hidden until only 2 years ago. The depression and pain is life threatening. I wish I had the courage to talk many years ago. Keep moving ahead precious girl. It is worth it.

• by Noelle, Tn
• 13 years ago

I was sexually abused by my dad when I was 11. A year later I finally told my older sister, who told my mom, who believed my dad when he claimed he had never done it. I'm 18 now and I have learned to get on with my life, but the memories still hurt. And the fact that the man I trusted more than anyone did that bothers me, but I know God will make him pay for it. This poem really touched me because it reminded me so much of what happened to me. I hope you are doing fine now and all is well for you. To any others abused teens or people out there, hang in there.

• by Shyteika Ward, Lousiburg NC
• 13 years ago

I'm very sorry for you. I never thought that that could happen to you or anybody but I really you did the right thing by telling some one, in fact I also write poems about how I feel or what as happened in my life.

• by Colleen
• 13 years ago

When I was 15 my brother molested me for the first time. I didn't know what he was doing then... When I became older I started to understand what he was doing but only thought that it meant he loved me more, Soon he began to rape me...at the age of 14 I thought that I was pregnant. and that was when I told... no one believed me... not even the cops... I turned out not being pregnant.

• by Morgan, Newyork
• 13 years ago

This is a really good poem... and I'm sorry that happened to you... but its good that you found a way to bring something so bad to a good light

• by Nylah
• 13 years ago

when I was 7 my cousin touched me sexually I never told and now my cousin is gay and I am addicted to sex but your poem touched me cuz it happened night after night and my parents were in the same house

• by Hunter, Canada
• 13 years ago

This piece truely touched my heart and I had tears in my eyes. I was abused too, I have no memory of my childhood because of it. I remember some of the beatings, some of the bad things.. but that's all. And I was also raped by my best friend in grade 8, This horror has scarred me forever and I lived this poem.. soo sad.
peace and love,
Hunter

• by remy1lookme
• 13 years ago

Wow, this truly, and unexpectedly caught me by my heart! I'm 14, and well, I was raped when I was 9 by my stepfather, he'd been touching me for a while, but that time was very different. It hurt, and I told my mom about every time that it occurred, but she neglected the situation stating that "he just has a problem, it'll stop", I told my biological father, and I'm in the middle of a huge mess right now, your poem is a blessed one!

• by Marie, Texas
• 13 years ago

I'm happy that you spoke up. It took me three years to finally stick up for myself and tell someone.
My mom stood by while my step dad beat me and molested me. Even though that did hurt me. I'm so glad that he didn't take my virginity for good. I'm still cautious of people but I think I'm strong and I'm determined to make it in life. I promised myself that I would show my mom wrong and that I will survive through all this.
I live in a shelter because my mom hates me and wants to protect my step dad because she blames me for "taking everything she worked so hard for". But I just hold my head up and know that one day she will get hers and something great will come out of all this.
I'm going to tell all my friends to read these poems because they are all great.
I'm sorry that happened to you by the way. I REAlly am. Hope your doing great now.

• by Alyssa, California
• 14 years ago

This poem really sticks out to me. I was molested by my older brother and raped by my dad. I felt guilty and gross so I did not want to tell my mom. My dad and mom got divorced though because he also had an affair so that did not last long and to this day I never told my mom because he has schizophrenia. my brother began doing the same thing and I began to believe this was normal. However, I finally told my mom. I still am in pain and hate myself for not telling her sooner. I have forgiven my brother and dad but can't forgive myself.

• by Cassandra Beaver, Kerrville Texas
• 14 years ago

It started at 8 years old. Just becoming a 3rd grader. I had a friend I fell in love with and got together with. What I didn't know was that he had records of juvi and drugs. I didn't care as long as I didn't do them. But I was always beaten if I didn't try or do them. I ran as far away but never could actually run away from him. Well then down the line family started molesting me. And now I am scarred for life.

• by Ashley Harbin, Saltillo Mississippi
• 14 years ago

I love this poem because my dad molested me for two years and I was nine and ten years old. I was so scared and even though it is over and he is in prison I still can't trust any man .I miss that little girl I used to be dearly and I can't imagine anybody doing that to a little girl until it happened to me . I used to say that I don't have a father but that's not true I hope nobody else goes through that but it happens everywhere please comment

• by Anonymous
• 14 years ago

Well I wasn't molested but nearly. All I can say is that am so glad the only thing he did to me was to kiss me and asked me to follow him, but I rejected its so painful to know I was 10 and he was 17 and my cousin. I see him every holiday, look at him with disgust, but I'm afraid to tell my parents and hear what they really say !!!

• by claudia
• 14 years ago

I was raped when I was 7 by a neighbor. I didn't know what he was doing. I never told my parents about it though. It scares me cause not only have I been raped but so have some of my friends and one cousin. Your poem was really good and it made me feel better about letting it out

• by Unknow
• 15 years ago

I am 19 years old and I had both my mom and dad sexually used me and the pain she was describing was exactly what I would feel night after night the same old stuff until I told and got free. I want to tell you there is hope and people that care about you and what your going though this poem helped me so much thank you for sharing this poems

• by ashley
• 15 years ago

I was raped at the age of 3 .......it was by my teacher.......but it feels good too actually let it out I felt dirty I would sit up at night and cry but not anymore....your poem helped me so much!!!!!!!!

• by Hillary
• 15 years ago

I loved your poem, it has taken my heart. I know where your coming from because I was raped when I eleven and I'm sixteen now. My family doesn't know, but I think your poem will give me strength to tell them.

• by Melissa
• 15 years ago

Your poem made me realize I'm not the only one who goes through stuff like that. I was 10 when it happened too, and I'm 17 now I was actually 13 when I told it's funny we kind of have the exact same story..

Thought you should know there's some one out there that's been through it too.

• by Libi
• 15 years ago

I'm not a physical nor sexual abuse victim though I used to live with my dad and stepmum and my two little sisters and while my dad was at work my stepmum would yell at me non stop and make me do everything for my two little sisters then lie about it to my dad. While this may not seem so bad I went through depression and this resulted in me cutting myself I'm just happy to be out of there but now my dad lives in Australia and I miss him so much but your poem still made me cry it was beautiful, with love, libi, xx

• by Crystal
• 15 years ago

I was molested for 2 years! I was 10 years old when it started and at that age I really didn't know what it was! But when I turned 12 and that Christmas the guy that done it told my mom that he didn't love her any more and he left and about a month later I told my mom about it! It still haunts me to this day and I am 23 years old and I have a son who is 2 years old and I am so scared that is might happen to him!