Lost Orphan

Was it something I did?
Was it something I said?
Did you not want a kid?
Is that why you fled?

It is to late now,
It will never be the same.
The time had changed me.
The past is to blame.

Without knowing who you are,
I feel like I don't know myself.
I always wonder about who you could be.
Do you do the same? Or is it just me?

Do you ever think,
of how things could be?
I never knew you,
But I hope you know me.

No one is showing me the way.
How am I supposed to know?
There is a saying,
Every action is learned.

I don't know what to do
I don't know which way to go.
I thought parents were the guiding hand,
Put there to help us grow.

Do I try to make it alone
With nothing to fall back on?
Do I keep searching for answers,
For some clue of what I seek?

But it seems,
that no matter how hard I try,
I never find anything.
I just end up back at the beginning.

I have tried everything I know.
Where do I go from here?
You are supposed to have the answers,
And build me up with cheer.

I don't know what you expect,
Or what you dream,
All I know is that you’re my father,
The one I hope that one day I'll see.