Abuse Poem

I have been through more than my share of pain. my parents divorced when I was 2. my dad gave me up when I was 8. I was molested when I was 10 through 14 by my step brother. my mom has an incurable disease. my grandma is gay, the other one died of cancer. my grandfather died of a brain tumor. I haven't seen my brothers in 7 years. and my mom is in the middle of her second divorce right now. but all these experiences have made me who I am. I'm stronger now, I'm unbreakable, I'm me.

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I was molested by my Great Aunt's husband from the age of 18 months until I was 12 years old. We shared a house with them and my parents both worked so this man in his sixties had free rein...

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© Michaela

December 2010

Night

the lord made the day when all was right
a beautiful child was born that night
the man and woman brought life into this world
the demons owned him when the doctor said it was girl
he tried to fight the pain
then the demons started screaming his name
after a few years he finally broke down
a new life of terror is what he found

how did you not notice that he would leave your bed every night.
he would tuck me in and turn out the foreseeing light.
yet he would stay longer than a kiss and hug.
he got more than a daughter's love.
he was my father and he thought he can.
I was a fragile child morphed into a woman.
you were such a deep sleeper you didn't hear him get up.
you didn't hear me scream after every sinful touch.
he would throw me on my bed.
climb on me cradle my head.
he took off my warm safe clothes.
then the pressure started to grow.
with the evil in his eyes he took my childhood.
maybe it was just because he could.
night after night I didn't need this pain.
but it didn't matter every night was the very same.
I would perspire, cry and bleed.
he cleaned me up after his ritual deed
yet no matter I knew that I would never be clean.

the lord made the night when the skies were gray
the beautiful child was forever changed, never to be the same
how much longer will she be able to live in this hurricane
will she forever live with the pain

welcome to my home
it isn't just me but somehow I'm all alone
the door is always open for everyone seems to leave
no one can take the lies and deceit
the locks have been broken so father can have his way
so you won't ever have any personal space
welcome to my man made hell
you can just leave like everyone else.

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  • by Fiona, London, UK
  • 1 year ago

I was molested by my Great Aunt's husband from the age of 18 months until I was 12 years old. We shared a house with them and my parents both worked so this man in his sixties had free rein with a child not much more than a baby. It happened two or three times a week and got progressively worse; at four years old I was performing oral sex on this man.
The scars do not heal they just get a scab over them. This abuse led to a lifetime of promiscuity as I knew no better and I let men abuse me all my life, I have been raped twice, but never bothered to mention it because who cared?. I have never had a proper relationship with a man, never married, never had children because of what this man did to me. A fractured relationship with my mother, because years later I found out he did the same to her, and yet she left me with him, who would do that to their child?
I have always hated myself, suffered with depression all my life, no self esteem, morbidly obese as I have punished myself with food (and punished my mother as she hated me being fat).
After three years of therapy I am starting to mend, starting to believe in myself and see that I am a good person, who is as important as anyone else. I am starting to feel happy and looking forward to my future, at 56 I feel I can live my life. I am losing weight and there is a lightness in my heart that I haven't experienced before.
Anyone reading this, don't wait to get help, don't take the blame, have the life you want and don't hold back by some disgusting excuse for a man. Don't let him win, your life is precious, you are precious, put it behind you and know that life is worth living. I continue on my road alone, but happy. I am going to seize life, its mine and I have earned it.
Good luck and love to you all xxxx

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  • by Tia Killen
  • 1 year ago

I am so sorry to hear this, your story touched my heart and many others by the looks. I hope you are ok and grow up to stand against child abuse
Thank you again

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