Hate Poem

Rage After Rape Poem

I was raped by a man my family trusted to watch me and care for me when I was 5... I went through counseling for years!! writing was my way out... my way to forget.. to release the anger I had... I hope this some how helps someone else get through their own rage.

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MY name is Krista. I am 19 years old now and I am a mental health student. I have disabilities now because of my past. I don't know what's worse. Remembering what happened or not remembering …

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© Nyomie Lynn visit Nyomie Lynn's site

Published: Apr 2009

Rage

I lay here to night in a dark silent room,
Feeling only pain and uncontrollable gloom.
Pictures of the blood flash in my head,
Pictures of you laying on the floor dead.
Never to come back and mess up my life,
I smile as I wipe your blood from my knife.
Your darkened red blood spills out on the street,
Your Colden heart stop DEAD in its beat,
I think back to all the pain and the hurt,
As I cover your body and spit on the dirt.
From you or you GAME I Can no longer run,
And me killing you was my turn for FUN.
Oh how they'll cry and Oh how they'll weep,
But I know their Sorrow is ONLY SKIN DEEP.
As I turn to walk down the cold empty street,
I walk to the rhythm your heart USED to beat.
I think Back to you lying dead on the floor
And SMILE knowing your heart beats NO MORE!!!!!!!!

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  • Emailed 13
  • Votes 359
  • Rating: 4.5

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  • by Krista, Berea
  • 9/12/2014

MY name is Krista. I am 19 years old now and I am a mental health student. I have disabilities now because of my past. I don't know what's worse. Remembering what happened or not remembering anything. I have no memory of my past but ever since I saw this guy on my street who looked familiar. I've been having terrible flash backs. I talked to my aunt about them only to find out I have been raped and abused. I have been shy and scared all these years and I never knew why until now. All these years I have suffered without knowing it. I was raped by a family member. Ever since I found out about this I haven't talked to anyone because I'm afraid of being made fun of and being treated differently. I haven't ever tried writing a poem and I don't know how yet but I am learning. All of your poems have inspired me to try it so I thank all of you very much. Bye

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  • by Angel, Newlondon
  • Jul 2013

I was 14 years old. I was in a bad relationship. He was a control freak and I lost everything. It was as if I was his slave. I am 15 now and still deal with issues from it. I was raped several times. My relationship was only 3 months. I never told anyone because I was scared I didn't know what he would do. I ended up pregnant but then lost the baby because of him. My family disowned me and didn't trust me. I was always lying I didn't know what was the truth, but then after the last time I told a friend and he told me to tell my mom. That's when I looked in the mirror and told myself this had to stop. I didn't have to live like this. I had nightmares. I was always scared. The only way I could get away from that feeling was writing. I'd write stories and poems all the time. I have moved on a little bit but it will never leave me. So to those girls who have been there you are not alone.

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  • by Sid, Long Beach
  • Jan 2013

I understand how you feel. That anger inside. My siblings and I grew up with some uncles, my dad died and mom went away for awhile. The ones that were supposed to take care of us, love us, damaged us. They raped my siblings. My only memory was my 4th birthday...then my life skips to 7! Not only that, we suffered from physical abuse, verbal abuse.

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  • by Cook, Georgia
  • Jun 2012

I was raped twice when I was 10 years old. He was my mothers boyfriend at the time. I was so scared my mom would be mad at me. or even hate me so I held it in for months. During those months I was molested and raped. I will never forget the way his breath smelled or the smell on his clothes and I hate it. I wish I could forget but I cant. I have had so many nightmares and I still have them till this day. I'm 19 now. This poem says how I use to feel. But I let it go. The man who raped me (somewhere in his 30s at the time) got what he deserved. He had been let off due to hear-say (but I was ten?) but a couple years ago was attacked by dogs who tore his penis to shreds. Now to this day he's in prison for man slaughter. I found my justice just in life. It may not be the same for some or all of you but staying angry is an injustice to yourselves. now you have every right to be but who wants to live their life full of anger and painful memories. You all deserve a wonderful life now.

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  • by Skittlestastetherainbow, Florida
  • Jun 2012

I understand your pain. I know other females and male who endured the same thing. Some lived, some died. But even then that couldn't hide the pain that was inside. I hate that people don't seem to understand how we feel. They act like its a fairy tale and it's not real. We deserve a chance to. So I'm glad we all speak our mind and figure out what to do.

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  • by Peterborough
  • May 2012

I have been raped by my foster sister and she used to threaten me with a knife and to cut of my penis if I said anything. I wish it didn't happen.

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  • by Bluewasabi
  • May 2012

I was also raped by my dad :(
I understand completely...but I was raped constantly for 7 years straight. I'm 14 right now so....I feel really happy to find another person just like me but I wouldn't want to kill him xDD
I would torture him until he finally understands my pain..even if he does I will still torture him :3
hello I'm blue nice to meet you :DD

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  • by Evi , Claremore Oklahoma
  • Jan 2012

I was once taken care of by my brother when I was 4. Time passed and when I was 11 he raped me this went on for about 1 whole year. He told me he would kill me if I told anyone , I believed him being only 11 at the time. I am very confused still to this day as to why he did it. He and I still live together and we fight constantly about what happened in our past. It seems I don't know what I should do next but I can never think of my brother in the same way again. I have contemplated suicide but decided that I don't want to run from my fears. I sometimes cut because it actually helps sometimes. I hide and act as though the world doesn't understand my pain and my rage. I felt like killing him for a little while. Then I realized it is better to keep everything hidden inside so nobody knows. I see know I am not the only one who feels this way. I am not the only one who would understand. You all helped me notice that. Thank You from the lost 14 year old.

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  • by Sarah, Mobile Alabama
  • Apr 2011

I have been raped and abused. But no one ever believed me. It was supposedly impossible for this man to commit such a crime. He was wealthy man. The districts favorite cop. He had it all, A beautiful wife, Nice house, nice job, Multiple cars, Lots of friends. So why need a little girl? It took 3 years of abuse before they finally proved everyone wrong. He was only in jail for 3 months. And they let him out on 1 year probation. He still is with my mother. She said he has changed, But I know that horrible creature still lurks inside of him. I know one day its going to happen again.. I'm just waiting terrified. I can see it in his eyes. He's going to hurt me once more. There's no ending to this war.

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  • by April
  • Apr 2011

I love your poem. I don't really know 100% what your going through but at the same time I do. When I was younger I was in my room and my mom had a room next to me and I saw her get raped. I tried to help her but everything I did it just seemed liked nothing I did could help her.

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  • by Desperation, Nevada
  • Jan 2011

I know what it feels like to be sexually abused. I totally relate to this poem and this is how I feel. He was a family member and in order to ignore the hurt I felt from it, I started to cut. I will not be able to go on with my life until he is dead. I lost a good friend because of cutting, so no matter what I do, he is always going to be affecting my life. I also use poetry to escape.....but I have done neither cutting or writing in a long time......so now I am just lost.

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  • by Teagan
  • Dec 2010

The same happened to me when I was 11. I'm 17 now and I can still remember it like it happened yesterday. I get the flash backs of it as well. I hate it and the only way to ease my pain is to write as well. I know where your coming from I've been through it as well. This poem touched the bottom of my heart. I loved it

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  • by Dejuana
  • Dec 2010

This is very helpful to me. I was raped also when I was younger. My family trusted in him and he was the killer of my soul. To this day my soul is dying. I don't deal with males correctly.

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  • by Sad Mom, Delaware
  • Apr 2010

My daughter was sexually abused by a trusted family member when she was 4 years old and she has been in therapy since...your poem really touched me and I can totally relate to the rage you feel!

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  • by October Lilia Morgan
  • Feb 2010

I have never been raped in my life but I do know what it feels like to be hurt or to have your world come crashing. it seems that when people say ''it will all get better in time'' that their lying, but when you take a look at your past and see what changed you'll see. Your poetry has touched me sooo much, I am a poet too. But yours, out of everyone I know, is the only poetry that touched me. thank you for that. Bye

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  • by under_pressure
  • Jul 2009

I've been raped too, and this poem really captures the way I feel. I understand your hate and I struggle with the same sick thoughts...keep writing, this is great!

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  • by Amron H.
  • Jun 2009

This poem has helped me a lot, because I've suffered heart break and disappointment for some time. Although it's not related to rape, your anger is equivalent to an extent... reading the poem just helped me know that someone could actually say what I was feeling verbally, the amount of rage because of betrayal and deception. I wish you a happier life.

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