Abuse Poem

Hello, my name is Brooke Ashlee Finelli and I'm a survivor of molestation. My poems show the feelings I have each and every day. The poems I write aren't just rhyming words, they're the emotions I go through throughout my lifetime. So, I hope you enjoy them.

Molestation

© Brooke
Being molested cut me deep inside,
and all I really wanted to do was cry.

The emotions it brought me, I can't deny,
that it left me a horrible feeling inside.

The pain it brought me , I felt alone,
and soon I started getting out of control.

This feeling it was killing me inside,
That I could not tell my secret that was forever haunting my mind.

This so called "uncle" was my family and made me do things that I would never want to do, and after he finished he'd say nothing but, I love you.

What I found so repulsive and vile to me, but I was full of fear not wanting to tell, because I knew it would bring me hell.

Life gets harder day by day, but now I don't have to worry about him wanting to play.

What he wanted to play was not a game, it was disgusting and sickening to my brain.

I lay by my bed, sit on the floor, cross my hands and begin to pray because I'm finally happy now that the doors shut and he has gone away.

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Published: May 2008

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  • This is touching to me. my uncle also molested me and said he was "just playing". everything in this poem was as if you scraped it from the inside of my mind and knew exactly how I felt.

    none Submitted Dec 2008
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  • I've been molested at the age of 14 and it changed my life. I'm always sad and depressed and can't understand why did this have to happened to me. I feel different and not myself. I don't know how to deal with this any more. I've tried committing suicide and running away, but yet I still remain to live. I wish I can go back and change that situation but I can't. It happened and its gone, but the pain and suffering still lives within me. I don't care to share my story because its a subject that victims need to speak about. The person that did this to me was my cousin. Sad, but true. I don't feel as if I can trust men anymore and it has affected my relationship. Its keeping me from falling in love and doing the things I use to do. I'm not the same person I use to be, the pain is getting worse. I feel bad for what happened to me, but it doesn't matter because its the past.

    Deseray Sklenchar Submitted May 2009
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  • This poem is all true, but it was done by my father from the age 11 to 14. I'm now 16 and I'm living in a foster home with two loving parents.

    sherri Submitted Nov 2009
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  • This story really touched me and this is what happen to me but with my cousin

    National Submitted Jan 2010
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  • This poem is true. It happened to me but my grandfather did it. I was only 8 years old then I'm 14 now.

    Destiny-Rene Submitted Mar 2010
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  • This poem seems so close to my heart.
    The first time I was molested I was only 9 years old, and it had been done by a family friend. I'm now 16, and I've been molested during the past years by other people who I truly trusted.
    Of course it's affected the way I see the world around me, and I really find it hard to connect to people.
    It's something I will never tell anybody. No one shall ever know of it. I want to forget everything.
    I still don't understand why...

    Amy, UK Submitted May 2010
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  • This poem really touched me. You took everything I was feeling and put it into this beautiful poem. My brother molested me when I was 5 and I'm now 14 it was horrible. I just wanted to say great poem.

    Taylor Submitted Jun 2010
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  • Listen , I love the way you did this poem. I got molested when I was 12 too. You seem a lot like me, in a lot of ways, this affects me a lot, but as you say it was the past, you can't change the past. I just wanted to say I love this poem , and to keep our head held high, just like how I am doing. I know it hurts a lot , but you need to move forward , ♥xoxoxoxo

    Nikki Submitted Jun 2010
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  • I know how you feel and this is a great poem you did. I got molested when I was 5. One of my family friends did it. Why are there sick people like this? I hate it. I'm 16 and I still have nightmares about it. I feel like I'm damned. I should have said something but I was so scared.

    Brittany Submitted Jun 2010
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  • . . .I am dying, killing myself for something that happened years ago. My father molested me thought elementary school.
    He died two years ago. But I wish I could go back in time and kick his ass. I get mad at my mom sometimes for giving birth to me,
    putting me in that situation. I made some mistakes because of this pain inside me. I don't like being around people no more.
    I hate men, I especially rage when I see a father. Because it reminds me of what happened to me. I never want to get married. I wish god could just take me away from here. I can't tell no one about what happened. My mom says I can't. I can't even talk to her. I even think she still loves him sometimes. Sometimes I get out of control for the smallest things and have to make people suffer for what they did. I wish someone could save me

    Jasmine Submitted Jul 2010
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  • I relate to this in so many different ways I got molested at the age 13 by my uncle I love this poem a lot and I feel the same way but I didn't tell anybody till I turned 14. I tried to kill myself but it didn't work, but this taught me life lesson. I'm 15 now, yes I do think about it a lot but I have to move on now and focus on my career just let God handle it!!!!!;)

    Jasmine Submitted Jul 2010
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  • Wow this poem is how I feel. My uncle did the same thing to me when I was 10 and it didn't stop till I was 13. Then when I was 14 he tried to do it again, but I told what was happening and that's when life changed. This guy changed my life forever, it has broke my family apart and the true colors showed. It was like they didn't care what happened, they still made him seem good, but in the end I won he went to prison for 8 years. He gets out next year and I'm so scared that something is going to happen its hard

    Sophia, CA Submitted Jul 2010
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  • This poem has touched me tremendously. It reminded me of everything. It made me cry. I was molested like this the only change would be my cousin did I was only 6 and he was 21. Now I'm 18 and I still cant forget about it I do everything to forget it. It caused me to do horrible things to my body. I'm so ashamed about it only one person knows about it. But my parents still don't know and I wouldn't be able to tell them :/

    Natasha, FL Submitted Sep 2010
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  • I was molested at the age of 6 by my grandfather, uncles, and many family friends till the age of 14 and I never said a word till I tried committing suicide but that took me to a mental hospital. I had to talk about what happened too me but nobody even cared so I just kept moving on and I try so hard to not think about it because the more I think about it the more angry I get that I hurt not only myself but other people ..it all changed my life because now I don't even know who I am..

    Cristal, Chicago Submitted Oct 2010
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  • I was molested by a family friend who we all thought we could trust. I was 14 years old I'm now turning 16, still going to court. It hurt so bad but I wasn't his first victim just the first one to speak out I seem to act out like someone with a bad case of ADHD just to hide the pain...if any of you, guys or girls, have ever been molested report it immediately

    N/A North Vernon Submitted Oct 2010
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  • I really took this poem to heart, the couplets made it catchy, yet the meaning and emotional pain stayed well conveyed. Very nicely put together. I too share your experience and have yet to put to terms the emotional pain that has haunted me for years. I have avoided confronting this problem my entire life and am now 28. I have finally found a really good therapist that I can trust and am learning to cope with the emotional pain. One of the things I hope some of the younger people will see is that their are many people who suffer from this type of experience and that finding a good therapist can help with the emotional processing. If this is currently happening to someone I would suggest to go to the police right away!

    Annie, HI Submitted Nov 2010
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  • I was molested when I was 10, by a family friend who we trusted, till this day, which is14 years later, I haven't told my parents..it's hard to tell them, and I don't want them to know..it sad, but true. :( ..the only people I told are my close friends, that I love and dearly love so much. I go on with life, I'm half way to graduating from college, I try and thought of taking my life, but all I think is about my family and friends, My friends that been with me, always. Dark moments come, and I try to over come them, but there are moments, when I want to just take my life...

    Lost_Soul_World Submitted Nov 2010
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  • I love this poem... I was molested when I was 8 yrs old and this went on until I was age 11 by my cousin who lived next door. We took care of our cousins because their mother, who is my aunt and my mother's sister, worked in a different state. His brother molested my younger sister who is a year younger than I. One day while visiting home, my aunt caught her younger son and my sister in action. My sister and I were blamed because we were girls... Our family kept it a secret and after that day, it was never spoke about again. But it sure has not left my mind.. It has effected me with relationships and makes me so mad because I see them and with their lives and they are living so well... Me on the other hand, I think it has troubled my mind cause I keep failing at life, I have tried 3x to kill myself, but failed at that too.. I still feel like I'd rather die than to live and I am now 30... My question is.. HOW DO I GET PAST THIS!!!???

    Rosemarie, Oklahoma Submitted Dec 2010
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  • I truely understand you. I was molested by a family friend. I was only 8. He molested me while we were playing hide-n-seek. He told me if I told I would get in trouble. At my age I trusted him but I knew it was wrong. It happened in my cousins back yard. I never told not one person for 9 years. I finally let it out because it was eating the inside of me for a very long time. This will always be with me. I really wanted to end my life every time I thought about it. I don't trust any guys. I don't want to get married and I'm afraid to have kids because I don't want them to go through the things I went through.

    Brittany, IA Submitted Jan 2011
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  • I can honestly say I know how you feel, and truely mean it, I have been through hell and high water and I'm still willing to give all I got. I have endured torment for over 18 years. From molestation, brutally raped, bondage and beaten. I had to be strong through my teary and weary eyes until I got out and got married and I have 3 beautiful children of my own. My dream is to get grant money and have a house where all abused children can go to and be safe and be able to tell their story and see that one person is me who cares for them. There is hope, I'm a true survivor. Every day I awake

    Krystal Submitted Jan 2011
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  • It happened to me too. I was only 14. I am 16 now. I didn't tell anyone at the time and to this day no one knows the real story of what happened to me. It was someone from school. I have to see him everyday in school and I shiver whenever I see him.

    Katrina, MA Submitted Jan 2011
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  • I've been molested by my step-father. It started when I was 11, I built up the courage to tell my mom when I was 13, she didn't believe me and as a reaction, she took his side. My Biological father called the police, I went through interviews explaining what happened...after a while my mom got to me and persuaded me to drop charges. My sisters think I'm lying, but how would they know they're his kids, I'm the only one that's not...I am now 15 and ashamed that I let him off the hook. everyday I want to die seeing his face. all I can do now is move on..if only I knew how to.

    Aaliyah, NJ Submitted Feb 2011
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  • This touches my heart, as if it was me writing this story, I was only 14 years old when this happened to me, but by my brother's friend..... My brother and his 5 other friends were outside playing, I asked if I could join they said "Sure, come along." So I did. We were playing man hunt. I was really having an awesome time. And then when it got so hot out I took my sweat shirt off, my brothers friend stared at me awkwardly, I asked him what he was looking at. He said can you come here a minute. I said "Sure, what for?" So I went with him, we went in the woods, because he said he had to show me something.. I was curious to find out what that something was. He told me to sit down, so I did... He said it was "To hot." so he took his shirt off. He kept getting closer to me.. He laid me down, and got on top of me, he ripped my shirt off, and my shorts, he starting kissing me, and sticking his fingers in me, he starting "Jacking off." I screamed out, I will never forget this day <3

    Name Stays Unknown, None Ya Submitted Mar 2011
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  • Hello.. I know how you feel. I was molested by my step father that eventually adopted me for 13 years from age 3 to 16. It scarred me for life and I even forgave him as an adult and he tried violating me once again. It has made me have trust issues, be insecure and has even caused relationship issues with my kids because I am so insecure I'm afraid of losing them. I hope you have been able to get some therapy. It's the only thing that saved me from giving up on life altogether. When this happens you are betrayed because you should be able to trust your family and all it leaves you with is guilt that you possibly did something to deserve it. I hope you find some peace.

    Brenda, Az Submitted Mar 2011
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  • This is how I feel at this moment. For me, it was my sister. that's all I will say expect by whatever hurt and pain I feel. for some reason I keep living, because I have too. if I don't, she wins.

    Kassidym, Texas Submitted Mar 2011
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  • I love these words they really made me cry. I'm 26 years now and still feel like I'm being molested. Everyday I'm crying and asking god why did this happen to me I don't bother anyone. I have children that I have to take care of because of what happen to me. Yes I'm always snapping out. they drug me. and it wasn't one person who molested me when I was 5 years it was 5 guys and they all were laughing like it was funny for a little girl.

    Yesinia Submitted Mar 2011
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  • When I was 5 I was molested everyday for 6 months by my swim instructor. When I turned 7 I went for a walk with my aunt and got lost. That night I was raped by 3 men. I then walked home, bloody and bruised. I told my mom I fell. When I was 8 my brother touched me inappropriately. When I turned 10 I was raped 9 times in 3 months. I ended up getting pregnant. I had a miscarriage. I've been physically and emotionally abused by my parents. I was physically abused by my friend James. He now lives on my block. I told my friend Robert all of this and he told me I was just trying to get attention. He thought I was lying when I told him I had gotten minor brain surgery behind my ear over the summer. I couldn't stand him. I told him I lied even though I was completely truthful. I'm now 11 and being sexually assaulted my uncle. I'm too afraid to tell anyone because they might think I'm lying.

    Samantha , New York Submitted Mar 2011
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  • I'm 13 and I have been molested last night for the first time. I don't know what to do. it feel like I have been betrayed but I guess that shows me not to trust everyone

    Lauren, Mi Submitted Apr 2011
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  • I was raped from age 8 to about 14 by my uncle then my step dad touched me when I was 12 to 14 nothing happened to both of them of course and no one in my family believed me except my mom. I was scared because my uncle used to threaten me and say he would kill me if I said anything. It was horrible and I'm 16 now and have trust issues with people. I don't date or anything because I'm so afraid of it happening again. I'm by myself all the time because I feel safer I think people like that should burn in hell it truly does mess with a person.

    Silent Tear Submitted Apr 2011
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  • This story really hits me, I feel like I'm a messed up person, and I don't really let people know my story, unless it needs to be done. I was molested by my fathers at the time girlfriend, and we all went to court over it but nothing ever happened to them for what they did to me. As I laid on the floor while she hurt me, my father watched her do it, and it makes me feel sick to know that he just let her do it. I go to a therapist for it, and although I'm 20 now it still pains me everyday, and when I try to tell someone my story I am scared that they will judge me. I have tried/thought about killing myself, and thinking horrible thoughts about how I can die, and why I want to die, but yet I can't do it.

    Danielle,Michigan Submitted May 2011
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  • This is so touching to me because I was continuously sexually abused by my godfather/uncle he was not only part of the family but a neighbor and babysitter. I'm 14 now and the last time I was molested by him was 1 yr ago. I can't even remember the first time he touched me perhaps when I was 5 or 6. I haven't told anyone because I feel so ashamed and was so confused at the time. I hope one day I can tell my story.

    Alex, New Jersey Submitted Aug 2011
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  • My heart just breaks to hear so many stories of girls getting molested. I too was molested at age 11 by my dad. I did tell my mother, but she just made excuses for him. I know how hard it has been since I told, because of the lack of support, but I think it still is the best way. I am now 61 and still working on the damage it did. Our society is getting better, but still needs way more help in this field. Children don't know what to do when their own parents won't help. The damage that molestation does is unending and forever. And we the "victims" are the ones that have to live with it. My whole family has abandoned me because I am trying to get help. It's very very hard, but get yourself a support person, that's what really helps me. Bless you all

    Jeanne Submitted Sep 2011
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  • When I was around 4-7 years old, I was molested by my neighbors...and my sister. The neighbor incidents were nothing compared to what I felt about what my sister did. She said it was a game, but I was so young and didn't know better. She did, though. I used to be in so much pain because of it, crying nearly everytime I thought of it. But after a while, I grew numb towards those situations, and to pretty much everything. I haven't cried in months, I physically can't anymore. I have no emotion towards anything. I hate affection, too, especially from my family. I'm mad at them for not knowing what my sister did. I'm a mess, but I don't have the will power to care. Needless to say, being molested has changed me. Terribly.

    Ashley, America Submitted Oct 2011
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  • Well as far as I can remember I was 9 years old my cousin who was 18 at the time moved in with us. My mom and dad worked in the day time so he would be my babysitter. They were times were he would start wrestling with me in a playful manner but eventually he would start grabbing my private parts and getting on top of me and moving around at the time I wouldn't understand what he was doing now I'm 27 years old my spouse knows about this event and other ones. till this day my parents don't know anything about this and I don't want to create a problem for my family by mentioning this now ....just wanted to share a bit

    Sandy Fresno, Ca Submitted Nov 2011
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  • I understand completely. From when I was 5 until I was 10 I was molested. First my best friend's grandfather, many many times. He would hold me against him and kiss me and touch me in bad ways. Then my friends older brother, I went to their house to see my friend. Only his brother was home
    (I didn't know) he told me to come in. I followed him to the back of the house where he grabbed me by the neck and pushed me against the wall. He started to touch me and forced his tongue into mine. I tried to fight but I was little he was 17, he said if I yelled he would snap my neck. So I stood there crying quietly. After a few moments of invading my body with hand and tongue he pushed me on to floor and raped me while chocking me. I only ever told 1 person this. My parents don't know. Friends don't know. I am turning 18 now, still cannot trust anyone, carry a knife always and have trouble showing emotion.. I was so little and scared... now I'm pissed and scared....

    Mary, America Submitted Feb 2012
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  • Hello, My name is Chloe. I was molested at 14 years old. It wasn't a family member that hurt me though, It was my boyfriend at the time. Now, even though he was my boyfriend at the time, he never had my permission. I want girls who have gone through this type of situation like mine to know, that he might of been your boyfriend, but if he did not have permission to do that, that still counts as molestation. For girls who have had that happened to them, I want to let you know that you are not alone, and it's okay to speak up, because he had no right to do that to you.

    Chloe Submitted Feb 2012
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  • I know exactly how you feel. I was molested when I was in 5th grade, by my teacher. By the time I realized what she done, she died. My parents and family don't know at all; and I wish I had someone that I could talk to about it who's been what I've been through.

    Jessica Submitted Mar 2012
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  • This poem hits home for me. I was molested by my father from the age of 11 until I was 19 years old. It was terrifying knowing someone who is suppose to love and protect you, hurt you so deeply. I cried for years every night wondering what I did wrong. Hoping my feelings would change at the sight of him gone. I was lost for years and needed counseling. But I learned to let go and let god, now I'm stronger than ever

    Cookye, Cleveland,Oh Submitted Aug 2012
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  • I was child molested by my grandfather, My father told me to forgive him because it was a long time ago to just let it go and my brother who also knew about it named his son after my grandfather. My family ignores it like I'm the crazy person and I spent my childhood helping care for my siblings which my Mother who also abused me in every way possible, brain washed them against me, now they say they don't remember a thing. Always there is mentally ill people in our family and that's not just from their own doing, something was going on with the "ADULTS" in our life they taught us no loyalty and how to be a coward. I have been meaning to talk to someone because this is all driving me to suicide. GOD please love me enough to forgive and feel my pain.

    Eva Submitted Sep 2012
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  • I too was molested by my Father , I did tell a friend about it, when I reached 16 years of age, and she advised me to go to the police, I'm glad I did do that, but I lost contact with my sisters and mother as they didn't believe me at all, I was called a liar, and just a jealous little girl, the first time I remember it happening I was about 4 years old, and it continued till I left home at l6 years, he always threatened me that if I told anyone I would be locked away in a mental home, all those years I was scared of him, yet no one noticed, or helped me....... I was and still am a liar . in my sisters and mothers eyes.
    I am married now with children of my own, and I will never trust a man 100%
    Men that do horrible things to children do not realize how unhappy they make us.

    Penny Submitted Oct 2012
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  • I read your poem, and yes it touched me, I to am a survivor. And yes agree with you what it does to your whole entire life. It happened when I was a young girl to my early teens, by a family member the same, they were very threatening and very influential, so the same, I did not say a word, I just buried it deep, but doing that it made every relationship hard as hell to deal with, it really messed things up you could say, I had to go through a lot of therapy, it has helped, but the stain is always there, you learn how to put it away where it no longer totally ruins your life, but it is still always there, and always will be!

    Christine MacDonald Submitted Oct 2012
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  • I was also abused and still suffering from it everyday. That's why I have made a page to help not only myself but for other people as well. I inspire everyone to come have a look and be involved its a genuine page and I guarantee no discrimination its a place to start if you need a friendly person to talk to.

    http://www.facebook.com/SurvivorsofAbusenotVictimofAbuse

    Natasha, Australia Submitted Nov 2012
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  • I was molested by my 18 year old stepbrother. No one believed me but my mom and cousins. My dad took his side. I am still living with him and it hurts to look and hear him. I cry when I think about it. I cry harder thinking about the fact that my dad took up for him and not me and we're blood but I WILL GET JUSTICE for what he did to me.

    Kay Submitted Apr 2013
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  • I know exactly how that feels what you wrote in your poem. It's a shame that this has happen to so many people. I was first molested by a cousin. I still hate the memory of this. I actually told on him and it turn out that he was raping my cousin that I was closest to. We both were 5 and 6. I had had experience with boys in my neighbor before them asking me to do things. I would always say no. Anyway I got abused again when it started going over my dads house, I had 3 half and 3 step brothers. They all did things to me. But the step brothers did worse. I think they think I wanted it but I was just timid and shy. And too scared to say anything. The first time they asked me to do anything I don't think I understood what they were wanting me to do. First it was dry humping but they soon turn into sexually things. My dad didn't protect me. Or it was the fact he was always at work. I lost my virginity to one of my step brothers.

    Rere Submitted 7/9/2013
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