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My home sits on a three acre property that abuts a cattle farm. The driveway/lane that leads to my neighbors house bears the name Bickerton Lane. It seems that the fence surrounding the grazing field is sorely in need of repair. The cattle wander at will through this broken down fence and onto my property. I hear them in the morning mooing and grazing through my yard and, annoyingly, leaving their fertile deposits behind them. So, I wrote this rhyme to calm myself down.

The Bulls Of Bickerton Lane

© Ken Miller
The bulls of Bickerton Lane do graze
Upon my verdant lawn.
I hear them in the morning haze
Mooing to the dawn.

They trample all my flowered shrubs;
They crush the dainty rose.
And then they pee this giant stream
As from a garden hose.

And what's this sticking to my shoe?
'tis this I truly hate,
For it's the stinking residue
Of what the beasties ate.

So then I say, let's have some fun.
We'll let them eat the grass.
Whilst with my trusty BB gun,
I shoot them in the ass!

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Published: Sep 2011

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