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Suicide Poem

I wrote this not because I wanted to commit suicide, it was just all the emotions I had in me that wrote this...

The Fight

© Anna Brown
My bodies cold
lips are blue
why did I do this because of you?

I feel the earth below me
like a pillow under my head
no knives, no guns, but pills instead

The bottle lays empty
cap unscrewed
what did I do? what did I do?

My spirit floats my body lays
my lover finds me
and he prays

I reach for him
I'm sucked away
like a deep crest of a wave

he pounds the ground
screaming why oh why?
I asked myself why did I?

My parents arrive, my best friend too
I thought to myself, What did I do!?

I look away the pains to deep
my life is over because of me

I look back for one last glance
they zip me up in the body bag.
I did this to ease my pain
I lost instead of gained

as I look down my family
I regret that night
my life stopped ticking
because of a fight.

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Published: Sep 2009

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  • I am 43 with lung cancer b-3
    I know what it like to want to give up
    THE FIGHT

    mice44 Submitted Oct 2009
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  • Hi my name is Rebecca I'm 15 nearly 16 now and this poem reminds me of myself I used to try time and again to die but then I found other things that made me go numb because I didn't want to feel the pain you get tired of going against everyone telling you how bad you are and horrible and how you will fail and never succeed but I had to stop it all the wake up call was when they put me in a mental health clinic and when I met this guy recently he explained a lot to me and so did this poem thank you for posting it

    Rebecca, England Submitted Oct 2010
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  • I've been there like exactly been there I understand it all very well. I hate that feeling and I've had the out of body feeling but my ex saved me I'm grateful for still being here even though times get really rough

    Ashton Submitted Nov 2010
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  • I am 52 and I'm just soo tired of all the arguing with my youngest daughter, she's 26. She takes pain killers for a cheerleading injury to her lower back. It's always the same arguments, they never change. Tonight was a real bad one and I really just want it to end. But my family wouldn't understand and they would all blame each other. I just want all the anger and addiction to stop.

    Debra Dukes Submitted Dec 2010
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  • I've been depressed most of my life, my father killed himself when I was 11. I'm now 47 and have tried many times myself. Today I was about to and something told me to find a website to help me, because no one understands the pain I'm in. I read this poem and it changed my mind, I can't imagine my family finding me and going through the pain I've been in over my father doing it. thank you

    Sue,Michigan Submitted Feb 2011
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  • I am a soldier of a lot of conflicts dating back to 1967, the burden of my past is closing in on me like the darkness of hell. I am constantly under attack from countless memories of my past. I have always prided myself with the knowledge that the mind controls the body and this discipline has always held me to the road of life and survival. My body has betrayed me and my mind, strong willed am I am which I used to control my body has let me down.

    Clyde W. Bonnell Submitted Mar 2011
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  • My friend killed himself by overdoes on pills. He left behind a baby and girlfriend and a bother and mom and very many that loves him we miss and love you very much

    Susan Submitted Mar 2011
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  • TO EVERYONE TRYING TO!!
    My sister did commit suicide on mothers day 05/08/2011 We are Hispanic and come from a dysfunctional family, I am 43 old but never before knew what that was until 3 years ago, Once I tried to do that myself 8 years ago, now I found God and He cured the pain in my heart, my sister couldn't get that help in time. She was apart from the family for almost 6 years, and just about 6 months before that happened, I stared to talk to her and give her my testimony of what the Lord has been doing in my life. She was getting very happy for me and even told me that she was proud, and happy for me!!! But I never knew she was going thru that painful time. She is gone. I live in FL and my family in Chicago, IL I travel to Chicago. If you are going thru some hard time there are people who care for you, ME and God. Love you

    Jorge Narvaez Submitted May 2011
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  • I've never actually tried but thoughts raced through my head before and an ex friend of mine was spreading rumors about me and calling me a b**** and was telling me I've never liked you you're a lowlife and all that similar and it was getting to me and I think it was god that came over me and told me to get a grip and so I did and now I'm 14 and trying to live a happy life :))

    Laura, Alabama Submitted May 2011
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  • Wow, that's so sad. Every time I get into a fight with my family, someone eventually ends up taking their side, so I get mad and think about how I'd be better off dead, wrong choice, they say, how life would be horrible with out me, but they lied I know they did. For the record its better to trust your family, even if they lie. :)

    Alyssa,Hope Submitted Jun 2011
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  • I'm Jordan, I'm 14 going on 15 and I have tried many times to kill myself. I now know that it is not worth ending my life and ruining others. People will say mean things and do stupid stuff and you'll get hurt but it's not worth ending it all with a knife or gun or pills or anything. I'm an emotional teenager but I mean aren't most who committed suicide? From time to time I think about what life would be like for my family if I would have killed myself. And I know that it would be horrible. One day I want to start a program to help suicidal children or teens. But for that to happen I need support and comfort of my family and friends. If I were to have ended it so many months ago, I would not be sharing this, I wouldn't have saw this poem and cried thinking that this could have been me. Now I share my story with people around the world and I'm only 14. So that alone goes to show that it doesn't matter what age you are. I knocked on Death's door and I thank God he wasn't home to answer.

    Jordan, AZ Submitted Sep 2011
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  • I feel like this was for me. I'm 17, and tried to commit suicide in March. I was struggling with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and I didn't know who I could turn to. I knew my family wouldn't understand. I was raped a year before I tried to kill myself. I kept in inside so long, I couldn't tell anyone. I felt as though it was my fault. I had been abusing drugs for that year, I was drinking Nyquil, taking Advil, and Tylenol just to be numb. I was hurting so bad. and I still haven't been able to get over it. I still struggle with depression, I knew my family wouldn't understand. When I got out of the hospital, No one, only an aunt, asked me about my rape. My OWN mother didn't even care enough to want to know what happened to me. She acts like it never happened, well sorry mom, it did. and I have to deal with this. And you're not letting me. I think of suicide every single day, I still abuse many pills. But I can't kill myself, because I couldn't leave my niece.

    Wes, CA Submitted Oct 2011
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  • I don't know, I can't, live with out you, I was only young when you left me, only five and unsure of the world that surrounded me. When you did leave me, it was hard, but I did have to move on, I do not remember your voice, your personality, but it has left me with no other choice but to move on. There is only one thing I really need to say and that is I love you, I hope I make you proud for that's all I try to do, I miss with all my heart, I love you. Mum moved on, and got happy, but really I know she still thinks of you every single day, they are fighting now, that is Mum and my Step dad, Mum thinks this is where they will end, he sometimes yells, you killed your husband...and stuff like that, Dad, I need you now, cause I can not explain what my heart is feeling right now, I love you <3

    Molly, Edinburgh Submitted Oct 2011
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  • This poem really touched me because I have lost a true loved one due to suicide. I only can say that Proverbs 25:2 has been the most reliable help I could find. It states,"For it is the Glory of God to conceal an matter, but it is the glory of kings to search it out."

    Brennan Submitted Feb 2012
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  • Wow! After reading all of these stories, it really made me think about all the hell I went through and how I got through it. To all of you considering suicide, I highly recommend becoming closer to God. I know I did and I'm still sitting here today happier than ever before. I'm 19 and my best friend just passed away, my moms addicted to opiates, my dads addicted to cocaine and has bad bipolar and I got addicted to synthetic heroin and that's just the beginning, but let me tell you, when I started to live my life through God's eyes and not my own, life got better and better each and every day and like I said I'm doing better then I have ever before. God bless you all.

    Dylan H, Fort Myers, Fl Submitted Feb 2012
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  • That story is me completely. I come from a great family, I have a best friend, bf and I have ignored my friend the past couple of months, but they are still there. I am attending school, I have a job, no kids, no money problems, nothing. I just can not control myself when I am mad or sad. When I get sad I just want to end it, but I think about the people I am leaving behind and I do not want to abandon them for my selfish reasons. Then I start crying because I feel loved (I find it Soo stupid but it stops me) and I can't do anything to stop crying. But what if one day I won't think about my loved ones. I am afraid that I might do something I do not want to do and at the same time I am afraid to tell anyone of them or get any help

    Nicole V, Ny Submitted Mar 2012
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  • 4 years ago in April my sister her husband and there 3 daughters were on there way home from a family dinner. A man that tried to commit suicide at home on pills at home well it wasn't working fast enough. So he got on the hwy hit them head on 80 mph killing my sister 27, two of there three daughters 8 and 4. Yes he died as well. I'm so angry cause I can't understand why he didn't just hit a tree or wall. Why did he have to take 3 very young lives. They were just starting there lives. In the end he got what he wanted. Leaving our family scarred for life. I wanna forgive him cause I have so much anger in me!!! I feel if I do forgive him I can have some kind of piece. There's no justice for me and my family. How do you forgive him and let go of all the anger??!!!

    Lisa, Texas Submitted Mar 2012
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  • On 2/7/12 my best friend ever died... he committed suicide... he popped 23 amoxicillin 30 aspirin 13 zanax and some pain relievers... he had called me right before he died and told me he loved me more then anything in the world that he always has and will protect and love me no matter what the sacrifice, that I was his reason to live and laugh but that he couldn't take it anymore. I knew right away where my missing meds had went earlier that day... I basically lived with him I went and got clothes from home once a week and then would go back to his place and hang there for a week or so... but I had to take meds to help me function and they had went missing that day. It still kills me inside to think about him... He was my whole life...

    Nikita, Tennessee Submitted Apr 2012
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  • this was an eye opener. I've been there beautiful poem. Talent and real!!

    Nicole, Pgh Submitted Apr 2012
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  • My brother shot himself in November of 1999 he had been ill for a few months and had tried lots of times to end his life. He was in a hospital and they let him home on day release even though he had tried to end his life. As well, I spoke to every one I could doctors, nurses, police etc anyone in authority asking no begging for them to section him, but no one listened. They said it would be on his record forever. He got ill in February I said to all of them if they didn't help him and section him he would be dead before Christmas and he shot himself in my mums home on the 26th of November 1999. He was just turned 27 his birthday was on the 2nd of November I had a meeting with his doctor on the Monday after he died and she said I was I was lucky because at least I had my family over the weekend to talk to and she had no one and it just goes on from there. I miss my brother everyday of my life. His ashes are buried with my son who had a cot death but that's another story.

    Lesley, South Wales Uk Submitted May 2012
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  • Hey I'm Sarah my sis killed herself when I was 10 I still miss her everyday!!!
    I wish I could have stop her but I couldn't !!!
    Leeanne I miss you but you live on in heaven!!!

    Sarah, St,Agthan Submitted May 2012
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  • In less than 2 years I've been a pallbearer for two women that committed suicide. Donna was a beautiful mother to two wonderful little girls, a successful career woman in a marriage that was troubled but still cemented in love. Alexis was a girl that was troubled even before conception thru artificial insemination. In a joint therapy session with Alexis the man said that "She was a parting gift to her mother" after revealing his homosexuality 6 months into her pregnancy. Neither Alexis nor Donna left a note of any kind so no one knows what pushed them into taking their own lives. I pray that anyone reading these stories while contemplating suicide is seeing the destruction that is left behind. I believe the irony that the word "wake" has two meanings is lost especially with suicide. Though it is a nautical term for the rough water a boat leaves behind, seeing the family laying a suicide victim to rest is even more destructive. God Bless you all, you are all loved!!!

    Bill, Philadelphia Pa Submitted 5/21/2012
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  • Thank you for this poem. It makes me know that I am not alone.

    Kylee, United States Submitted 10/1/2012
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  • Thank you so much for writing this poem. It really did hit me and give me a wake up call. I'm 16 yrs old and I have been going through this on going nonstop pain since I was 12. I have tried to take my life away from me multiple of times. So I looked on here for help and this poem just stopped me. When I read this poem for the first time it made me cry because that could be me. I don't always "succeed" because I think about how selfish I would be if I just left my mom behind with no explanation of why I did it. So I thank you again Anna Brown for writing this even though "MY FIGHT" is not over yet.

    Brittney C. ,Tx Submitted 10/25/2012
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  • My first time trying to commit suicide, I was 8 years old. I held a knife to my heart right in front of my sister, who was 6 at the time. I tried again at 15 by slitting my wrists. Thankfully, this time my sister wasn't around, but my mom however, saw what had happened. She sat me down, crying her eyes out, and called my dad inside. I'd never seen my dad cry before, but the tears were just streaming down his face. They told me that my little sister looked up to me, and that she would think it was okay to try this as well if she saw. I could have not only killed myself, but my sister as well. I'm 19 now, and although I still get depressed and sometimes want to end everything, I think of all the people I'd be hurting in the end. I'll never end my life myself.

    Amber G , Al Submitted 11/7/2012
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  • Hey guys this poem just told me more than any ''living'' person could it saved my life probably more than once thanks for saving me with something that otherwise would have been for nothing.

    Damien Submitted 11/8/2012
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  • This poem touched me like no other has. I write myself when I feel down and currently suffer from depression and alcoholism. Thank you for this poem submission. It helps me to remember that I am not alone in having feeling of hatred and thoughts of losing my life. Ironically enough, my best writings come out when I am under the influence of alcohol and I fear that I am using it to numb all pain. Anna, thank you for being brave and channeling your emotions in writing so that the rest of us may be inspired by your poem to fight the thoughts.-Jorge Navraez of Chicago, I am sorry to hear about your loss. I would like to know more of how God healed your heart. Are you willing to share?

    D.P., New York Submitted 11/25/2012
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  • This poem really brought flashbacks. I tried many, many times before to kill myself in middle school during 7th and 8th grade because I use to be so fat. Fat wasn't even a word to describe me. I weighed in about 220 when I was 12-13 of age. Over the summer of 2009 I starved myself until I dropped 150. At that time I was in Morocco and I passed out in front of grandma my aunts and my cousins. They were all worried. But I don't have any suicide thoughts anymore because now I'm happy. I'm about to turn 18 in March of 2013.

    Ilyas, Champaign Submitted 12/4/2012
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  • I know how it feels because I have also experienced being a depressed teenager. I have also wrote a poem on a girl who suicides although I wasn't going to. I was just feeling very sad and the thought of suicide did once come into my mind but after I wrote that poem, I made a promise to myself that I would live till my family and goal would live, the day they're over, my life would mean nothing. But fortunately I have a very large family that live all over the world. This poem reminds me of what pain my family would be going through if I had not made that promise. I am 14 years old and I have experienced many heart broken situations. But whenever that happens, I remind myself of that promise.

    Nirali, India Submitted 1/4/2013
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  • Well at this time I've been crying I'm going through a tough time I gotten molested 3 times and I lost the love of my life. I was born a f*** up and I just feel so lost it makes me write, but this poem is so beautiful I wish I could write like that.

    H.Z, Florida Submitted 1/24/2013
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  • My best friend from the fifth grade committed suicide after he moved to Ohio. He had a hard life so he went by the expression YOLO, so he killed himself. His name was Cyrus. I loved him with all my heart. I miss him every day.

    Allysin, Alabama Submitted 2/13/2013
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