The Petting Chair

There is a place where people repair
That's oft sat upon without much fanfare
Now in our house it's turned us to despair
We now call it The Petting Chair.

Our furry friends know that if we dare
Sit on this thing with our bare derriere
We are captive and can't get away from there
The porcelain throne called The Petting Chair.

No doubt if we sat in Bombay or Times Square
As long as we sat on a seat somewhere
They don't mind be we poor or millionaire
Just always have with us our own Petting Chair.

In the dark of the night after a scary nightmare
We are caught in our nightshirt and thin underwear
Our pets think we are truly smart and debonair
As long as we sit on The Petting Chair.

One day as we lie in intensive care
Others will know why we weren't all there
Why plumbing costs made us go on welfare
It's all because of The Petting Chair.