Published: Nov 2007
The feelings that I hide
You can see it in my face
You can see it in my eyes
Trapped inside are the lies I can't replace
With memories that linger
Won't seem to go away
Seeing your face today the same one I blocked from my mind
Finally giving me closure so I can move on with my life
I was seven years old and at a friends birthday party
I didn't know what sex was but you forced it upon me.
I blame myself for what you did and I couldn't talk about it because I thought I would be in the same place you are today
I was seven and all I wanted to do was play
You took all of my innocence away
Do you know how bad it feels to be scared to stay in the same room as you papa!
When you were his little angel?
And not knowing what to say at work to a guy that reminds me of you.
Or having night terrors all my life because of what you did
I have been scared of guys
I've been scared of everything
I've always had to stay on the safe side so I wouldn't get hurt
I wasn't allowed to stay the night at my friends house because heaven forbid you might be there.
I wasn't allowed to trust anyone because everyone was like you
You can say sorry for what you did
And I will most likely forgive you
But you cannot say sorry to that seven year old girl at her friends birthday party
Because as of today that scared little girl no longer exists.