Mental Illness Poem

A wishful letter of what could have been

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This poem touched me deeply. I found my father hanging at 15 years of age. He was violent and depressive. I kept wishing he would change as a little girl. My father never sought the help he...

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Daddy, I Dream About What Could Have Been

© more by Debbie Leads

Published by Family Friend Poems December 2007 with permission of the Author.

Daddy, it never occurred to me.
That you might die without changing your ways.
I guess it was the little girl in me.
That always thought that you'd change someday.

You'd change and become that father I always wished for,
You'd give me advice, love me unconditionally
You'd make me proud to tell people who you were
And you'd also be proud of me.

I'd look forward to being with you,
And you'd look forward to time with me,
You'd plan neat outings
Or we'd just watch TV

We'd look forward to vacations
With stability and peace of mind
We'd all want to go
Nobody would be left behind

You'd be sad when I got married
Because my time you'd have to share
Walking me down the aisle would be tough,
Almost too much to bear.

You'd go to church to pray for us
A family man you'd be
You'd know all about me
Including all of my dreams

Still, inside, I know that you cared about me
A few good things I remember
But I wish with regards to mental illness
That you would not have just surrendered.

It's easy to point fingers at you,
Again and again and again
It's also easy for me
to dream about what could have been.

From your daughter, Debbie

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Emily by Emily
  • 11 years ago

This poem touched me deeply. I found my father hanging at 15 years of age. He was violent and depressive. I kept wishing he would change as a little girl. My father never sought the help he so desperately needed. I often think about who he could have been.

  • Sarah by Sarah, St.Louis MO
  • 11 years ago

This poem brought me to tears. For my story is so common to yours. I lost my Daddy to suicide at 6. He was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and just couldn't stay on his medicine. Between his Bipolar and drug addiction he just couldn't keep it all together. He ultimately took his own life and your poem sums up exactly how I have felt my whole life. He would be a grandpa now and I know my 2 girls would love him just like I loved him. I have very few memories, but the ones I have I cherish so deeply.

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