Adoption Poem

Birth Mother Poem

I wrote this poem when dealing with the awaking of what I had done 14 years after the placement of my first born child. As many other birth mothers before and after me, I became pregnant again within 2 years of having my first born. I realized as I was dealing with the grief that I had a second child to mask the pain in a sense tried to replace my first born son. I was unaware until the moment I was filming my son dancing on stage in a school event and was brought to tears.

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Mirror Image

©

Published: September 2011

As I watched you dance tonight
Upon that lighted stage
I realized what you've become
My eyes can see so clearly
A mirror image
My heart and soul's desire

I feel guilty when I stare
While it's you I see
There are times I wish so deeply
I wish that he was there

I see your hair
It's golden brown with curly locks like mine
I see your eyes
Inherited the deepest shade of brown
I see your stature
You stand so tall, so proud
I hear your voice
So deep, so loud
The man you are becoming
Confident and loving

I love your hugs and kisses
I love your thoughtful ways
I can't express these feelings
My soul reaching through my heart
I do however love ALL the things you share
Everything about you is carried in my heart

At times however in my mind
Reflections
Similarity
These can't be denied
In my mind you've become him;
The child that I miss
Every look upon your face
Reminds me of my loss
Every hug
From your arms to my embrace
Reminds me of that love
I lost

You ache for love I can't express
I don't know if I provide
I feel ashamed
I'm saddened
I cannot erase
All the thoughts
Of how I tried to easily replace
An infant, child, boy
And the man you are becoming

I love you deeply with all my heart
My love is yours for all of time, this I won't deny
It scares me when I think of you, for he never leaves my mind
I wish at times that I could see you
For whom you truly are
My soul's creation, my life, my light
My child, my boy
My Son

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