STOP Suicide Poem

This poem was written when I was going throw some hard times and I thought that everything would be better if I wasn't here.

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I started when I was 9 but it wasn't serious to begin with. I started wanting to seriously kill myself at 11 though. Now I'm almost 16 and I'm on the edge of my life......

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Confessions Of A Cutter

©

Published: November 2007

Silence
Only tears
As I press the blade
Against my pale skin

Red
The blood flows
From the wounds
Echoing my inner pain

Satisfaction
As I feel the knife
Slicing into me
I only deserve pain

Anguish
As I realize what I've done
I feel accomplishment
As I gaze at the marks upon my skin

Stares
People are horrified
Don't understand why
Neither do I

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  • Stories 12
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  • Favorited 5
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  • Rating 4.23
Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • by Sky Wright, Aussie!
  • 2 years ago

I started when I was 9 but it wasn't serious to begin with. I started wanting to seriously kill myself at 11 though. Now I'm almost 16 and I'm on the edge of my life... Literally. I used to just sit on the top of buildings or do something dangerous like that because it used to calm me. Now my anxiety it constant. I can't go a day without having a panic attack or cutting and my friends are so worried about me. I hate it because I have so much sh!t going on in my head that I feel guilty because I can't help them. My family gets worried too which stresses me. I'm over trying to hide my scars and cuts though. Even when I knock my wounds and they start bleeding terribly I'm over caring. People think that I'm a freak but I don't care anymore... One day it might just be the end for me... I'm just waiting for the moment. I think that what makes it worse is the fact that it's an addiction. People say it's for attention but it really isn't. I just want to stop feeling this way.

  • by Jlb, Ca
  • 3 years ago

I've been a cutter since I was 11. I cut on my chest and legs, so no one sees the scars. I guess it's like what I wish I could do to the people who make me feel this way, and what I think they wish they could do to me. I'm 44 now.

  • by Jlb, Ca
  • 3 years ago

My fiancée has been a great support toward helping me stop cutting. I still sometimes wish I could do it for emotional stress relief, but I don't want her to see the fresh cuts, which would hurt her worse than me.

  • by Belinda Ecker, Burton
  • 3 years ago

I know what it's like all too well. I have been a cutter since I was 4 years old none of my family or friends found out until I was 18. They all think that I have stopped but I haven't I've just got better at hiding it. I don't know when I will be able to stop completely and no matter how much I hate my life I know that ending my life wouldn't solve anything.

  • by Julie, Az
  • 4 years ago

I have been a cutter off and on for about 5 years. My gf did know and made me promise to stop but when she is the one making me feel depressed and lower than dirt, I can't help but find my hidden blade.

  • by Alice Alvin
  • 4 years ago

I'm also a cutter...my boyfriend and bestfriend found out and I stopped for a while...but then everything just went to total shit zone and I couldn't take it any more...I always get a better understanding of my emotions when I read poems...I've always been depressed about things and never truly happy. I hate my scars I hate my life except the people who temporarily let me forget my problems...and thank you to those people....they are the reason I am still alive and well today

  • by Brooke, Regina Saskatchewan
  • 5 years ago

I have been cutting for 2 years now. I'm not sure why I started, I guess I just felt like I'm not worth it. I hate everything about myself and I hate my life.

  • by Bridget, Michigan
  • 5 years ago

I've been a cutter for about 9 years. This poem hits it right on target. When everything happens around you and nothing seems to be looking up you can only deal with so much. Cutting to me is like a release of everything you hold in. It helps for that split second but the feelings come back. Then you're mad and don't understand why you do it. I hate the scars on my body.

  • by Birmingham, West Midlands
  • 6 years ago

I am a cutter as well I have been for the past 4 years and I can relate to this so much I don't know why I do it. It seems to be some sort of release for me. My mate knows but he doesn't understand it when I say I find it a release he says its marking up my skin and looks a mess. I just find when things are building up on me I decide to take the blade and cut.

  • by Leah, Tennessee
  • 6 years ago

I'm a cutter, have been for 8 years. I've been battling this for a long time, it gets harder and harder everyday. With it being summer. I find myself depressed more often, and when I decide to not wear a jacket I get stares. People ask me what happened or where those scars came from..
I make up some lame excuse like the cat did it or it was a bush... I'm terrified of people knowing the truth.. but I'm making a video of my story and putting it on YouTube. when its finished I shall return here (:

  • by Emily Rose
  • 7 years ago

I am a cutter, and that explains so much that I feel..

  • by pastcutter
  • 8 years ago

I used to cut and my boyfriend (at the time) never knew. I would even tell him life wasn't going well and he would ignore the fact. he still doesn't know I used to cut. but I don't even understand why I used to cut so I can relate

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