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Don't Marry An Irish Woman

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Published: January 2009

The Irish girls' beauty you cannot deny
But when wed to, you'll want to die

Don't marry that Irish gal
They are terrific to drink with like a pal

Or some games of slap and tickle
But when wed you're in the pickle

The drink they'll take from your lips
Then pounds they'll put on their hips

For past trifles you will recompense time and again
Rapt in their demeaning regard for married men

In public they'll run you down
Make you the laughing stock around town

Your favorite bar you'll find humiliating
To find she's been going with the chaps you're affiliating

As soon as you think you're through the worst 
Through the front door her mum will burst

To ameliorate your home she will claim
Only instructing daughter on the weapon shame

The Celtic daughters learn quite fast
You will lament bachelor days past

Til death do you part echoes in your head
A life not worth living you're better off dead

Make arrangements to get the deed done
But first shoot her and then her mum



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