Growing Up Poem by Teens

I am about to turn 16, and I have been through a lot with my family. I wrote this after being grounded and total forced separation from my boyfriend. I wrote this for my dad mostly, but some of it is for my mom.

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Let Go, I Will Be Me

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Published: March 2010

Slowly been dying inside.
Now I'm here.
He brings me back to life.
I was empty, but he filled me up:
With laughter, new ideas, and love.
You disapprove.
You say it's not true.
Now you take away
The only thing that keeps me from pain.
School helps, but it's summer.
Friends help, but you
Took them away too.
Now he is gone.
Now I am back to empty.
You can't help.
So don't try.
You say I'm a heathen; a whore.
Why should I respect you anymore?
Family is important, but I don't see one.
Everyone fights too much to be one.
I know you don't trust me.
I want you to.
I will not always listen to you.
God will forgive me
Though you say he will not.
Your mistakes are not mine.
Your shame is not mine.
God loves you, I love you.
We all love you; You just don't believe.
I've tried to make our family work.
I want us to stay together.
It took all of the little sanity I had.
I can't make everyone happy
But I will try to make me happy,
Or I won't be of use.
I rarely want to eat.
I barely sleep.
You worry about my safety.
I know I am safe.
I worry about my sanity.
It's not just about him.
It's about everything building.
He takes away the pain.
He cares though you say he doesn't.
My priorities are fine.
Don't judge me.
God, School, Family are all important.
Yet so are friends.
So is my happiness.
So is actually living.
Not being a robot.
Not hiding behind my mask.
I know I will not hurt myself.
Take care of yourself.
Each of us needs,
To think about themselves.
Think before we all shut down.
Before we all collapse and burst.
Shipping me off will keep the problems at bay
Until I return.
I will not get over him.
We will continue to fight.
If he moves on
I won't do anything.
Then I will be worse.
I won't have my friends.
I won't have my family.
I won't have school to distract.
I will collapse.
Sure I dramatize sometimes.
But I love you.
I love my family.
I love my God.
I love my friends.
I love my boyfriend.
These will not change.
You used to think I was an angel.
I told you I wasn't.
I told everyone.
None listened.
You know I will make mistakes.
I am sorry for everything.
I am sorry for what will happen.
I can't change what has been.
I know I disappoint.
I am trying to find
My purpose.
My love.
My life.
My thoughts.
I can't think the way you do.
Teen love is supposed to be a myth.
Yet I feel the way I do.
I don't know what will happen.
Things just seem to get worse.
One day we will all be happy.
I am not sure when.
I love you so much.
I won't be you.
I will be me.
I will be with him.
Let go.

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