STOP Cutting Poem

Poem About Addiction To Self Harm

I am Erica I've been cutting for 2 years now I stopped for a couple months and then started again I wrote this poem to just get out my feelings to get out my shame my embarrassment. There's no hope for me to stop it's too hard but I still try.

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Yeah, I go through it, too. I have gotten sent away twice, and it hasn't helped. I got caught up in drugs and I'm only 13. I tried to overdose twice; it never worked. I know what you go...

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The Addiction

©

Published: December 2013

there is never a last cut not for me,
fighting the depression,
hearing your name,
I cut again after fighting it for 3 months

I failed the cuts marking my failure
marking my shame

I never should have made the first cut
I should have know that it would not be my last
it became addictive
there is no hope for me

it's gone on for a year, everyone ignoring my screams
tonight, tonight I bleed.

you should not have forced me to this life
this pain, it's haunting, suffocating me
but people only see how happy
I go through the day, no scars no pain
until you say the thing I fear
you say his name
I freak out I can't take it, can't take the pain
I don't take it out on anyone I take it out on myself
I make another cut maybe 5 or 10
each cut getting deeper longer
each cut bleeding a little bit more than the last

and what lies in the future I can only guess...
maybe my death
or my healing
I just want to be whole again
I don't want to feel this pain
I don't want to lie awake all night
because the nightmares scare me

I am sorry to disturb anyone that reads this ...
it's my life my habit and I do what I must.

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Jocelyn by Jocelyn
  • 1 year ago

Yeah, I go through it, too. I have gotten sent away twice, and it hasn't helped. I got caught up in drugs and I'm only 13. I tried to overdose twice; it never worked. I know what you go through, and I wanna be a counselor when I grow up so I can help people like all of us make it through the night and be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy. I don't care who you are, you deserve to be happy. I'm here for all of you.

  • Sonya Silk by Sonya Silk
  • 4 years ago

I have no such story but I can still understand the feeling. The poem truly touched the inner part of my heart. Well said. Well done.

  • Rei Leon by Rei Leon
  • 4 years ago

I can relate to this poem so well. I use to self harm and I know how hard it can be to stop because it is so addicting once you do it once. I do wish that I never have done it in the first place. I can say that I'm going to therapy and getting help. You just have to take baby steps.

I so feel your utter torment and pain. Each and ever day, is a tumultuous and too painful way, to finally to get to sleep, knowing that this is the only silence and peace, you will keep, just for you. There are so many millions of sensitive and heartbroken, disillusioned beautiful people who share your utter sadness. Do not persecute yourself, for you are one of the beautiful creations who helps this world to go on. We, who suffer from debilitating depression, self blame, guilt, sorrow through loss and grief, are the backbone of our world. We keep it going on, somehow. If everyone was selfish, materialistic, Sociopaths or Psychopaths, mankind would have destroyed itself many years ago. I know the days can be too painful, and the nights of blackness, too long. But you have to continue, emotionally fight this curse of emotional pain and debilitating self destruction. For you will eventually will be so determined one day to strive for meeting your own goals. Just for you. And you only. AND YOU WILL! Bless you! XX

  • Suenssy by Suenssy, California
  • 5 years ago

I am also a cutter. I started in 6th grade, my mom had no idea of what was going on. I was so good at hiding it. When my friend found out she made me swear never to do it again. She checks my whole body to see if I did anything. Yes there are a couple times I slip up but that's ok. I have friends who never leave me.

  • Emily R. Laws by Emily R. Laws
  • 5 years ago

I have been dealing with this problem for 2 or 3 years and my friends found out a few months ago. They freaked out and told my family, which has resulted in them simply not caring or doing anything about it, except for my older sister, who has been trying to help me. My friends all tell me its wrong and I should stop, my response is that it helps me cope, there isnt really much more to it. They all made me promise I wouldn't commit suicide, which I happily agreed to. They worry, but that shows me they care, and sometimes it's good to know someone cares.

  • Erica by Erica, England
  • 5 years ago

It's ironic to say my name's Erica too and I have been fighting this issue for awhile. My friends found out, took my phone, put a counselors number in it, I don't think I'll ever use it, but it's there, if I ever need it. I'm not sure why she goes counseling I think its just because she's angry all the time, she should meet my family, they drive me crazy and every night I can't help but think of possible ways to die, at least I used to. It's getting easier now, I've slipped up once or twice, but it's a process that takes a lot of patients, and I know if I fall my friends are right there to catch me.

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