STOP Cutting Poem

I'm 13 and I wrote This Feeling Really Horrible. I have a boyfriend And we've been together for a year and he loves me a lot but for some reason I feel alone and depressed. My mom loves me but just doesn't know how to show it. I don't mention How I feel To Her because I know I would hurt her ! & if I tell others how I feel mostly they don't know how to help and So I wrote my feelings on here just to let someone know how I feel.

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I just wanted to say that it's hard being a teenager, especially a female. Everybody has this picture of what a woman "should" look like. I have been where you're coming from. I was so...

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This Battle With Myself

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Published: April 2012

Every one tells me I'm beautiful
everyone sais I'm perfect!
But as soon as I see in the mirror I see the reflection of a monster!
A horrible unperfected monster!
& then I feel all this pain!
I can't take it no more!
I feel mental & insane
I have someone who loves me!
He's the one who keeps me standing in all this pain!
But when I tell him how I feel he doesn't know what to say!
& I understand it's not easy to help someone like me out?
But I wish he could see what I go through every day!
My life is pretty good most people wouldn't complain!
But it not my life it's myself!
The battle is with my self!
& all of this pain takes over me again!
& that cold stupid blade
calls my name!?
And I don't know what to say
& then my love come to my mind again!
I promised I wouldn't hurt no more!
But this is just to hard!
I don't mention nothing to my mom
I don't want to be so mean
it would hurt her like hell to see all my pain!?
So I just sit down in a corner
& cry out my pain? :/



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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Tiana by Tiana, Michigan
  • 4 years ago

I just wanted to say that it's hard being a teenager, especially a female. Everybody has this picture of what a woman "should" look like. I have been where you're coming from. I was so depressed in highschool and let me tell you the year after I graduated I met and fell in love with my husband. In every aspect of my life, he saved me from them. Now 19 years later we are going strong with two beautiful boys. It does get easier, but I think you need to talk to someone like your high school guidance counselor about what's going on. Hugs to you!

  • Liz by Liz, NY
  • 4 years ago

I cut from a young age, 13. I've had long periods of remission. But that comforting old friend is still in the back of my mind 20 years later. I did it when I was pregnant. I did it when I quit my dream job. I eventually started burning myself with cigarettes. I fight the urge all the time. Especially when I'm under stress. Try to hold on every day.

  • Anonymous by Anonymous, Arizona
  • 5 years ago

I am 49, I know it sounds so old to be a cutter. I didn't start until I was in my 40s. I cut to relieve pain from arthritis. I had very bad doctors who refused to see the pain I was in so the only relief I had in my mind was to cut. I have very bad scars on my arm that I can't hide so I make up stories on how they got there. My closest friends and family know the truth and I am sure everyone else suspects. I have a very supportive husband who obviously doesn't understand but listens. This poem hit me the most. I don't do this because I am bullied or someone treats me bad. I do this to relieve pain inside me, to relieve my physical and mental pain. I have teenage children and I hope and pray they never have to suffer with this addiction. I am aware of cutting so if I ever suspect or see evidence I will get them help immediately. My heart goes out to all cutters. We are not insane.....we are just trying to relieve pain.

  • Caitlin D by Caitlin D, OH
  • 5 years ago

I've been a cutter since last year of October. The bad days never end for me but I keep my head up for my girlfriend. I am bi-sexual and It causes a lot of fights in my family. I'm unaccepted and unlike the others. I'm different and I'm difficult. I'm been through hell and back, with scars on my wrist and a fake smile on my lips. My long distance relationship is really hard for me. It's been almost 10 months now and I'm going to see her this summer. I need her to stay strong for me because she is breaking too. That's my story for now. Keep your heads up guys!! Stay beautiful! << If anyone needs a friend to talk to and open to please go to that site and message me anytime. c: Thanks!

  • Unknown by Unknown, Tennessee
  • 6 years ago

I've been cutting for five years I'm 16 years old. I know the battle might be hard but talk to an adult you trust . I promise things will get better in time (:

  • Jane by Jane
  • 6 years ago

Your poem touched me somehow. It's all the stuff I feel that I could never put into words. I'm a cutter myself, though I really have tried to quit. I continue to try, but it isn't going well. Anyone you ask will say, talk to someone. But who? Maman's easily depressed, and Papa has enough pain already. It is not that simple! I never thought cutting was addictive until I tried to stop. Is that not insane?

  • Misty by Misty, Mississippi
  • 6 years ago

I'm a cutter just like all of you. I'm 29 and I've tried killing myself and all. The best thing I can say for all of you is go to a doctor. That's a sign of depression and if you don't fix that you'll never get through the rest. It's hard to stop and if you do it alone even worse, with me as long as I stay in my need I'm good. So check into it because one day when you make that cut could be the last one you make ..not. Meaning you could cut too deep and hit a vein or something then it's too late. Talk to your parents I promise they would much rather be there to help, then to see you hurt yourself.

  • Cassidy G by Cassidy G, . Boston
  • 6 years ago

I still cut and I am trying so hard to stop. I don't know what others have been through but just know that someone out there is thinking of you on her own struggle and is hoping that you get out of it and can be happy. Good luck and I really hope you find a stable happiness. <3

  • Lyndsay by Lyndsay, UT
  • 6 years ago

I have tried to cut. I can never get deep enough and it's not like anyone cares. I get to see my Boyfriend about one time a week. That is not enough for most and it is not for me. But the small cuts and shallow ones at that, are hidden. He doesn't know I still cut sometimes when my mother yells or my sister hurts me. I loved your feelings. Thank you so much

  • Brittney C. by Brittney C., Tx
  • 6 years ago

I am 16 years old and I have been cutting for well over four years now. I kept promising everyone I wouldn't hurt myself anymore. But it just hurt so much to have everyone say how beautiful you are and I knew deep down that it wasn't true. That they're just saying that because of my body. I just got tired of everyone. Than I met a guy in west Texas he was the best friend anyone could have. He understood me and what I was going through. He made me promise to never cut again. And I haven't. I have not cut since April of this year and I won't cut anymore. I am done with that. Even though the pain is still there. Every time I am drawn back to that cold blade I drop it and think of that really good friend I made a promise to. I thank you Michael for making me make that promise.

  • Emmalyn by Emmalyn
  • 7 years ago

I was also a cutter.. it has been an on going battle for four years and is the hardest thing to deal with. My life is Okay, I have not been abused or neglected., but still I was battling depression. And even though my scars have healed for the most part, I can't help but to cringe at what I had became. I use to be happy. And after I was diagnosed with a health condition, pulled out of school due to my health, and lost my best friends. I could never pick myself up. After my suicide attempt, I started taking medication and my parents watched me, and finally I felt safe. The battle is always within your self and that is why for me it was so hard, I didn't find It wrong. But I agree when you cut, you lose, and depression and any other situation wins. Tell your mom, you need support. To stop battling yourself.

  • Tiffany by Tiffany, Colorado
  • 7 years ago

I was a cutter. I started when I was 14 and I stopped when I was 16. I still have insane scars. It felt so good to release that pain. When I was 15 I went to a mental institution after a conflict with the man who raped me, along with a few others (his wife etc.) . While I was there I met a doctor who I couldn't stand. HE gave me the Best advice that anyone has ever given to me about cutting.... it also relates to other things.... He told me that whenever you cut it moves the mental/emotional pain to physical pain which, some of us would much rather... he also said whatever ailes you.... rape... depression... stress at school/home... a certain person.... it's allowing that person/situation to hurt you over and over again. He said would you allow the man who raped you to do it again? I, being 15 and very angry said F*** no!!! This doctor told me that every time I cut myself it was like that man (problem/situation etc) taking the razor and doing it themselves. I STOPPED cutting cause...haven't we been hurt enough? I hope this helped you. Please confide in your mother... mothers love you more than life and your life and happiness is worth fighting for. The essential hurt is so worth the final RELIEF.

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