Humorous Poems - Page 3

41 - 58 of 58 Poems

  1. 41. Writing Block

    • By Rebecca
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems November 2009

    Hi everyone! I'm just your average teen who enjoys listening to music, friends, and TV, but I also love writing! I wrote this poem for a writing club I'm in and it turned out to be pretty neat! I hope you enjoy!

    I can not write a poem; my brain feels fried.
    It can do no more.
    It is as though all my creativity has been trapped, isolated in a room without a door.
    ...

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    I feel the same way, but it takes like a month or two to finish one poem. When I do, some of them don't make sense.

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  2. 42. Cookie Monster

    This is a poem is inspired by my daughter. When she was 4 yrs old, her love affair with Cookies started. She would do anything to get hold of the Cookie/Biscuit Jar. Her love of Cookies still exist, she is now 24 years old!!!

    There is a Monster
    Lurking inside our House
    Causing a Disaster
    Eating all our Cookies...

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  3. 43. Willis

    This is a true story about a friend of ours who would ride his horse into town to the local saloon for a few chug-a-lugs, but one day his luck ran out and guess what? Yep, got caught by the officers.

    Willis the cowpoke rode into town
    On his Old Jugs, just horsing around.
    Down highway 26 he rode Old Jugs
    To the local saloon for a few chug-a-lugs.

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    These men get very well acquainted with their horses, their ole pals you might say, The clumping of horse hooves, the whinney demand for carrots and sugar cubes, the barn yard smell. kinda...

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  4. 44. Unsubscribe Me

    Do you ever feel this way? I had to write it.

    Unsubscribe me from your mailing list.
    You must think I'm a sap.
    I don't even know you,
    And I'd never buy your crap.

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  5. 45. The Ballad Of Bob

    • By Caroline Mcmillan
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems March 2009

    I feel chimps deserve more recognition for being awesome. Please enjoy this poem, a tribute to their awesomeness (also their occasional stupidity...).

    A chimp named Bob had a fancy
    For a banana tree
    That lived in the jungle nearby
    His love was plain to see....

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    Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die. Cherish the moments we had together, for I promise you Dear, there time lasts forever. So when you pass by that marble placed...

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  6. 46. Pigheaded Pete

    • By Louise Michelle
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems May 2014

    Oh, dear, I'm not quite sure what to write. There isn't any particular story behind this piece, but I'm sure most readers can relate to obnoxious Pete. Perhaps the moral is one shouldn't lose one's temper no matter what the circumstances. Let's hope old Bill learned a lesson.

    Pigheaded Pete was an obstinate fool,
    who argued no matter the topic,
    shredding opinions with outrageous drool,
    and anger that bordered psychotic.

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  7. 47. The Poem I Did Not Wish To Write

    • By Sahana
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems May 2014

    This is my first poem

    I did not wish to write this poem,
    But it would not leave me be.
    Throughout the night,
    Throughout the day,

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    Same, girl! I don't write poems either! Thanks for expressing it in poem form!

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  8. 48. My Wife, The Math Whiz

    My wife studies higher math and calculus and all that rocket scientist stuff. Just looking at it turns my brain to Jell-O.

    My dear wife studies Calculus.
    She says it's fun; I think she's nuts.
    She's solving x and y and z.
    I struggle with just 1, 2, 3.

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  9. 49. The Most Horrible Treat

    • By Clothes Like Those
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems February 2015

    Something I regret...

    It seemed like a good idea at the time,
    But looking back now, I cringe just a little.
    I was so hungry and it WAS once mine,
    The week old milk and peanut butter brittle.

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  10. 50. Office Policy Change

    Wouldn't the work environment be wonderful if office policy including time to laugh every day?

    Stepping into the boardroom meeting,
    Stepped out of character too.
    Put a red slipper on one foot,
    On the other, a bright blue shoe.

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  11. 51. Writing Utensil

    Just a clever little poem about a pencil, I like more of the darker poetry, but thought I'd try something, well...witty.

    I marvel my pencil.
    My special, long, wooden utensil.
    I just can't keep my hands from it.
    I got him from a friend, and we've been inseparable since....

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  12. 52. Travel Blues

    My name is Alan Balter, and I am a retired university professor. They call me "Professor Emeritus," a title with no benefit wharever except to remind me that I'm old. I had a wonderful 35 year career preparing teachers for children and adolescents with special needs. Now, in retirement, I have taken to writing novels and poetry. This keeps me stimulated and, at the same time preserves my dear wife's sanity.

    A voyage abroad with my good wife Maude turned into a real mess
    In need of some rest in Budapest, about all I got was stress
    Then in France I took a chance on some pork a little too rare
    I so regret that Monsieur's toilette was very crowded there

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  13. 53. Problem On The Holidays

    • By Fatmonkey496
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems November 2009

    I am a teenage writer that has lost his way in life

    On New Year's Day my cat ran away
    For Valentine's Day, no girls mould be mine
    On St. Patty's day I got pinched by some laddys
    On Easter I lost all my eggs to an old geezer...

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  14. 54. I Love You/I Hate You

    • By Christina
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems October 2009

    A smoker battling with the weed.

    You're the love of my life and the cause of my strife
    You dirty cigarette
    I've made many mistakes in my many days
    But you are my one regret

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    I love this poem! It really hits home. I've been a cancer survivor for eight years, and I'm still smoking cigarettes. Although, I've been cutting down. Now it's a half pack a day instead of...

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  15. 55. I've Fallen In Love With Mr. Muscle

    • By Jamie H Scrutton
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems September 2014

    This is a comedic poem about a woman who has grown a passionate attraction to Mr. Muscle after his dedicated hygienic work around her house.

    The typical skittish behaviour when my body begins t' bustle,
    All in the fact that I've fallen in love with the one and only Mr. Muscle:
    How his passionate vibe shines when cleaning down my decks,
    As his toned, articulate body moves, rhythmical with his pecs!

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  16. 56. The Bulls Of Bickerton Lane

    My home sits on a three acre property that abuts a cattle farm. The driveway/lane that leads to my neighbor's house bears the name Bickerton Lane. It seems that the fence surrounding the grazing field is sorely in need of repair. The cattle wander at will through this broken down fence and onto my property. I hear them in the morning mooing and grazing through my yard and, annoyingly, leaving their fertile deposits behind them. So, I wrote this rhyme to calm myself down.

    The bulls of Bickerton Lane do graze
    Upon my verdant lawn.
    I hear them in the morning haze
    Mooing to the dawn.

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  17. 57. Colors!

    This came up thinking about my sisters' attention to detail when it comes to colours - I'm blessed to have three. I wrote it for leisure. Hope you enjoy reading.

    I thought I knew colors.
    Aren't they red, green and blue? 
    I know white, black and grey, 
    Purple, pink and yellow too. 

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    I really enjoyed this poem because it rings so true. I don't know how people can tell the slight differences between colors. It's like a language I can't really understand or relate to.

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  18. 58. It's The Most Fattening Time Of The Year

    My mom loved the song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year." She played it every Christmas, without fail - until we all got sick of it. But here's a fun version of it to sing - and if you get a karaoke track for it, perform it with props, friends, and fun, and post it online...well, I think everyone could get a good laugh out of it. Enjoy! Merry Christmas!

    (sung to the tune of "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year") - with apologies to Andy Williams

    It's the most fattening time of the year
    There'll be pizza and dim sum, oh yes, please, I'll have some

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41 - 58 of 58 Poems

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