Humorous Poems - Page 3

41 - 58 of 58 Poems

  1. 41. How High's The Snowfall, Mama?

    In the 1960's, Johnny Cash sang a tongue-in-cheek song about excessive rainfall called, "How High's the Water, Mama?" I decided to write a funny one about snow. I hope you see the humor in it, but in some areas this is no joke! My apologies to Johnny and all those affected by this increasing weather problem.

    How high's the snowfall, Mama?
    "One foot high and rising!"

    I'll eat my food and watch the game.

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  2. 42. Facebook Rap

    • By Keith
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems May 2014

    This humorous poem will get every FB user laughing their socks off!

    On goes the PC
    Wonder who has messaged me
    Loading up my Facebook
    Gotta have a quick look

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  3. 43. Fecal Farm

    As I was preparing my garden, I thought perhaps I should get some fertilizer. So I went to a friend's farm nearby where I filled my pick-up truck with a mix of animal waste. My friend raises many kinds of animals for his traveling zoo: common animals such as horses, cows, sheep, goats and chickens; and exotic ones such as ostriches and peacocks.

    While unloading this mix, and nearly smothering in its stench, I kept thinking of funny lines. Finally, I quit and sat down to write Fecal Farm.

    My horse is there in front of me
    Clip-cloppin' down the road.
    He stops and flips his tail straight up
    And drops another load.

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  4. 44. Spring Is Just Okay

    • By Phil Cornish
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems May 2014

    Everyone is excited about Spring...even me to some extent...but there is a darker side.

    Spring has sprung, the time has come, for the greening of the trees
    A time of change, renewal and growth for my allergies
    Like everything else in this great world, Spring has its pluses and minuses
    But its features are quite singular when it comes to my poor sinuses

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  5. 45. Growing Old

    I began writing poetry in middle age. For about 5 years I lived aboard a yacht in remote areas of Australia, mostly in the Torres Strait. We had intermittent TV and radio signal depending on the anchorage and I began writing poems for family and friends for special occasions. The majority of my poems have a whimsical quality and this poem is no exception. It takes a humorous look at how we deal with the ravages of aging and particularly strikes a chord with women of middle age and older.

    They said I was an "old fart"
    But I hardly think that's true
    My boobs were done in '75
    But my teeth and knees are new.

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  6. 46. Christmas Golf

    My son needed a poem for school he could act out as he read. That was kind of hard to find. So I wrote this for him. It was my first one, have wrote many more since. Hope you enjoy this one.

    Back in October a Christmas wish I made.
    A brand new set of golf clubs before next year I played.
    Then on Christmas morn, with my eyes I spied
    An oblong box under the tree, with ribbon wrapped and tied.

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  7. 47. A Thing About Hair!

    I grew up listening to the Beatles. Besides music, they influenced a lot of teen culture, including long hair. There were times mine was past my shoulders! I wrote this story for children. It is silly, funny, cute and maybe a bit surrealistic. I hope they'll see that no matter how many turns their lives may take, there's always some way to adapt to them. It's for kids, but adults might get a kick out of it, too!

    I've looked all over, but I don't know where
    I got stuck with all this hair.
    Some hair's where there once was none!
    I must have more than anyone!

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  8. 48. The Crazy Flu

    With the flu season upon us, having the flu can be miserable. If we can see some humor in it, it could be good for the soul.

    There once was a girl named Sue.
    She came down with the case of the flu.
    She let out a sigh,
    "My temperature is high,

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  9. 49. Archemedes Was All Wet

    • By Robert Z
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems May 2014

    After spending over 40 years as an academic and industrial research chemist, I have become intrigued with the large number of important scientific discoveries that have been advanced through serendipity and humor.

    Most of the chemists and physicists that I have had the pleasure to work with could easily start a second career as stand-up comedians. The public at large, especially young people, need to know that working as a scientist, although very challenging, is never dull or boring!

    King Hero of old Syracuse had doubts that made him frown.
    "Perhaps my goldsmith did not use pure gold to make the crown."
    Since proof of mischief must be strong to put a thief in collar,
    The king who feared his judgment wrong called on his science scholar.

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  10. 50. Problem On The Holidays

    • By Fatmonkey496
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems November 2009

    I am a teenage writer that has lost his way in life

    On New Year's Day my cat ran away
    For Valentine's Day, no girls mould be mine
    On St. Patty's day I got pinched by some laddys
    On Easter I lost all my eggs to an old geezer...

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  11. 51. My Wife, The Math Whiz

    My wife studies higher math and calculus and all that rocket scientist stuff. Just looking at it turns my brain to Jell-O.

    My dear wife studies Calculus.
    She says it's fun; I think she's nuts.
    She's solving x and y and z.
    I struggle with just 1, 2, 3.

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  12. 52. Cookie Monster

    This is a poem is inspired by my daughter. When she was 4 yrs old, her love affair with Cookies started. She would do anything to get hold of the Cookie/Biscuit Jar. Her love of Cookies still exist, she is now 24 years old!!!

    There is a Monster
    Lurking inside our House
    Causing a Disaster
    Eating all our Cookies...

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  13. 53. The Most Horrible Treat

    • By Clothes Like Those
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems February 2015

    Something I regret...

    It seemed like a good idea at the time,
    But looking back now, I cringe just a little.
    I was so hungry and it WAS once mine,
    The week old milk and peanut butter brittle.

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  14. 54. Mary Had A Little Lamb

    I often read nursery rhymes to my grandchildren, but they showed little emotion when I did. Therefore, I decided to write the rhymes in a more humorous way. They appear to be enjoying my little rhymes very much now. "Awesome, Grandad. You're funny."

    I've written a number of these comic/satirical rhymes. I hope you like this one. If so, I'll send more later.

    Mary had a little lamb
    And a baked potato.
    Mary had a salad too,
    Of lettuce and tomato.

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  15. 55. Pigheaded Pete

    • By Louise Michelle
    •  Published by Family Friend Poems May 2014

    Oh, dear, I'm not quite sure what to write. There isn't any particular story behind this piece, but I'm sure most readers can relate to obnoxious Pete. Perhaps the moral is one shouldn't lose one's temper no matter what the circumstances. Let's hope old Bill learned a lesson.

    Pigheaded Pete was an obstinate fool,
    who argued no matter the topic,
    shredding opinions with outrageous drool,
    and anger that bordered psychotic.

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  16. 56. Writing Utensil

    Just a clever little poem about a pencil, I like more of the darker poetry, but thought I'd try something, well...witty.

    I marvel my pencil.
    My special, long, wooden utensil.
    I just can't keep my hands from it.
    I got him from a friend, and we've been inseparable since....

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  17. 57. Travel Blues

    My name is Alan Balter, and I am a retired university professor. They call me "Professor Emeritus," a title with no benefit wharever except to remind me that I'm old. I had a wonderful 35 year career preparing teachers for children and adolescents with special needs. Now, in retirement, I have taken to writing novels and poetry. This keeps me stimulated and, at the same time preserves my dear wife's sanity.

    A voyage abroad with my good wife Maude turned into a real mess
    In need of some rest in Budapest, about all I got was stress
    Then in France I took a chance on some pork a little too rare
    I so regret that Monsieur's toilette was very crowded there

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  18. 58. Unsubscribe Me

    Do you ever feel this way? I had to write it.

    Unsubscribe me from your mailing list.
    You must think I'm a sap.
    I don't even know you,
    And I'd never buy your crap.

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41 - 58 of 58 Poems

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