I'm so torn as I sit alone in a lifeless jumble of secret thoughts,
Wanting to end this bitter pain for some relief,
Even momentarily.
It won't subside,
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Why I am so confused? Why is everything going to hell? Have I done something wrong? Have I messed up? I am losing everyone that I love... And I am losing myself... I am falling....Black is all around me... I always wanted to fly... but never to fall... my wings are broken, my halo has fallen. I am no longer and angel, horns replace my halo. And on my back not light fluffy wings but black tatter things. Changed to the ground, little room to move, on my knees I look up and see the things that owns my soul.
He is my master and I am his slave. Trapped in his world no where to go. He gives me a job, I have no choice but to accept. He tosses a shadow that falls at my knees and tells me to rise as my chains break. Without hesitation he tells place the shadow around my shoulders and never show my face. The shadow is my cloak, my invisibility, my shame.
...
Wow. My chest hurt while reading this. This is so sad, keep it up, this is one of the greatest poems I've ever read in my life! I felt really emotional, but satisfied while reading this....
Do you think I like feeling this?
Afraid to look in the mirror and see a complete and total stranger?
Do you think I like looking at shattered glass and wondering
if that's what my heart looks like?...
My parents used to be very critical. I hated being around them and never shared my feelings with them as they would use it against me and make me regret opening up. But I feel conflicted for...
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Drowning in my misery
this life is hell it seems to me
and I don't think I can fight this anymore
Tears of hate of broken hearts...
You are loved! Like the song says, "God's not dead. He's surly alive. He's living on the inside, roaring like a lion."
When you look at me,
What do you see?
I bet if you look deep enough
You would see right through me.
Looking at the night sky,
She wonders why,
Why'd they take her away,
She wanted to stay....
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I have often been thin. Not skinny or scat
I'm not overly large... I hate the word fat.
I'm 50 years young, full of vim and vigour,
And this menopause, it's taking some figure.
She may seem alive
But she's dead inside.
How can one live
When the important things died?
This hit me hard. This is exactly what I felt every day. Without my "friends" I had nothing to think about. I felt numb. With them I can't think about what's happening inside my head.
This is how I've felt after CPS kept my children without due process. Pretending I was fine so sadness wasn't called depression, my mourning wasn't called unstable, my frustration wasn't...
Tears fell from the sky, hate steamed down my cheek, anger, pain, kept inside.
No one to cry, but me.
Heaven above, hell below.
I looked in the mirror ugly showed. ...
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