Poetry by Kenneth J. Miller

I often read nursery rhymes to my grandchildren but they showed little emotion when I did. Therefore, I decided to write the rhymes in a more humorous way. They appear to be enjoying my little rhymes very much now. "Awesome, Grandad. You're funny." I've written a number of these comic/satirical rhymes. I hope you like this one. If so, I'll send more later.

My home sits on a three acre property that abuts a cattle farm. The driveway/lane that leads to my neighbors house bears the name Bickerton Lane. It seems that the fence surrounding the grazing field is sorely in need of repair. The cattle wander at will through this broken down fence and onto my property. I hear them in the morning mooing and grazing through my yard and, annoyingly, leaving their fertile deposits behind them. So, I wrote this rhyme to calm myself down.

As I was preparing my garden, I thought perhaps I should get some fertilizer. So I went to a friend's farm nearby where I filled my pick-up truck with a mix of animal waste. My friend raises many kinds of animals for his traveling zoo: common animals such as horses, cows, sheep, goats and chickens; and exotic ones such as ostriches and peacocks. While unloading this mix, and nearly smothering in its stench, I kept thinking of funny lines. Finally, I quit and sat down to write Fecal Farm.

This is an ode to my tiny mother-in-law for whom my wife and her sister had a birthday celebration each year at her musty cabin (a.k.a. cottage) in a wooded area on the banks of a Pine Creek in Central Pennsylvania. And this is a very accurate description of the birthday party.

I forgot to get my wife, Karen, a St. Valentines Day card, so I made this one up. It worked! She's still laughing.

I worked in laboratories for many years as a research scientist and I heard many jokes about lab researchers like me, so I decided to have a little fun with it. Hey, it's not true! There are exceptions!

I've been in many dingy bars in the early morning hours, alone and lonely, so I thought I would exaggerate the feeling with this spooky poem.