A Noble Quest

You go to your back garden, as you want something to do,
And a world of wild adventure is staring back at you.
It's not a place that mum and dad know sits behind your home,
But you see things they can't see if you're prepared to comb.
Beneath the big hydrangea bush are mysteries to spy,
Where ogres live and will appear, but slowly 'cause they're shy.
To travel to this mystic land or venture even farther,
You need to cross the vast green lawn that is now made of lava.
But if you hop from stone to stone and say the magic words,
You've learned by cracking clues and rhymes left for you by the birds,
You'll get across securely, and even in one piece,
But if you mix your words, jump fast so you'll avoid the beast
That lurks amongst the flowerbeds and sneaks from pot to pot,
But don't step on the lawn 'cause as you know, it's boiling hot.
So now you've reached the brambles, all twisted thorns and vines
That come to life and grab your legs, so watch out for the signs,
As they know when no one's watching you to see you disappear
And take you to a place that even ghosts and dragons fear,
But you are not a dragon, and you're certainly not a ghost.
You're brave, you're strong, you're fearless and more intelligent that most.
You've got your wits about you, and more important than that,
You've brought you brand new spud gun and your lucky cowboy hat.
So now onto the castle where the captured princess waits,
Guarded by the boglins made of stone beside the gates.
You first must climb the rope ladder and hope it doesn't break,
Or worse, as you recall, it once transformed into a snake.
You peek in through the doorway, being quiet as a mouse.
You see a stunning castle, not a dusty old treehouse.
A 'pop' 'pop' of your gun and the guards run off in fear.
The worst thing for a goblin is potato in their ear.
And now to save the princess, that was once your sister's doll,
But since you flushed that down the toilet, it's now Bert, her purple troll.
But Bert is still a princess and needs saving all the same,
And protected past the duck pond full of crocodiles to tame.
You can tell that they are peckish and bribe them with a snack,
Which wins their trust and earns you both a ride upon their back ,
Which really comes in handy as the pond also contains
Snapping pink piranhas keen to gobble up your brains.
But fish with teeth don't scare you as you jump down from the pond.
You're as brave as Indiana and as daring as James Bond.
With Bert inside your backpack, you head back to the lawn,
With you trainers thick with mud and your trousers slightly torn.
But if you're required to save the world, mum should count herself as lucky
That the only cost to her sometimes is clothes that come back mucky.
As you stride across the patio, your mission now complete
You're through the door, your head held high, but still must wipe your feet
'Cause while giants do not scare you, even roaring, "Fee Fi Fum,"
Nothing's quite as frightening as a telling off from mum.