Hurting Poem

I Want To

© Jacquelyn Upton
I want to write about how you make me feel
How every time I see your face I know that you’re real
I can’t describe the feeling you always raise in me
I can’t describe this wash of happiness that you seem to bring
But I want to write about it, I want to write about you

I want to write about that day we shared
How every time you would laugh it would linger in the air
I can’t describe the loving look in your eyes
I can’t describe the reason why you won’t say, “Goodbye”.
But I want to write about it, I want to write about you

I want to write about all our memories, all our stories, and adventures
How we conquered them together
But I can’t describe the paths we took
I can’t describe the sense of security I felt in that one look
But I want to; I want to write about you

I want to write about us
How everything felt was true love not lust
But I can’t describe anything without you
I can’t describe all our hopes and dreams
How everything that was so perfect left in a fleet of screams

I want to write
But I can’t explain how our plans got so disarrayed
How god just had to take you away
I can’t describe this sudden feeling I have to be by your side
How even through death I have to hide all that I feel inside

I want to write, but I forget how to describe what is meant
I want to write about you but I can’t
I can’t describe the feeling of lost, the feeling of what it all cost
Or of the silent screams, the lovely dreams with just you and me
But I want to-

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Published: Dec 2009

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