Depression Poem

How It Feels To Suffer From Depression

I wrote this poem when I was going through a really bad time with my depression. I was trying to explain to someone who has never suffered with depression how it makes you feel. I find writing poetry very therapeutic, and it helps me to express my inner feelings. I have written many poems, a lot of which are about different stages of my depression, as I see it.

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Living A Lie

Published by Family Friend Poems June 2020 with permission of the Author.

Walking into a typhoon,
Swimming against the tide,
That's just how it feels,
When my truth I have to hide.

Pretending you're really happy,
When inside you want to cry.
Feeling unbelievably low,
But your exterior shows you're high.

Forgetting how to feel happy,
'Cause your default is set to sad.
Forgetting all the good times,
Just remembering the bad.

Not wanting to leave the house
Or talk to anyone today.
Walking with my head down,
In my bed I want to stay.

Not seeing a light at the end,
Just stormy skies up ahead.
I can't see a way out of this.
Maybe I'd be better off dead?!

A feeling of guilt arises,
For two lives depend on me.
My special boys I love so much,
If only they could see...

These dark thoughts I have inside,
The bad things I want to do,
The hurt I cause to myself,
These scares upset me too.

The one wish that I have
Is my kids never feel this pain
Or the feeling of self-hatred
Under dark clouds filled with rain.

As I look into the future,
The old me will resurrect one day.
I'll then smile a real smile and say,
"I really do feel good today."

more by Lee W. Barker

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