Molested

My brother touched me and I tried to tell him don't touch me. but he still did I tried to hide the pain of him touching me. I try to leave that past behind but it still creeps up, and leave images that won't go away. Tried to tell someone but no one believes me it's been 10 years and I still live in fear of him coming back.

This Year, I went for some drinks with some friends, my brother and his girlfriend (the mother of his new born son) knowing I had work in the morning and that I had to keep my eye on the b&b I work at overnight, even though it was empty of guests, I only had a few drinks and went back to the b&b. my brother walked me back, the brother I had never fallen out with, always looked up to, respected greatly and loved so much, forced himself on to me. Raping me whilst we were in an empty building with nothing and no one around us. I blamed myself for so long, had I done something, said something that he took in the wrong way? Both my mother and sister were raped, both at the age of sixteen, both by a relation, even though they spoke about it and told me WHAT they felt I never really understood properly. Then it happened to me and I didn't know how after so many years they have been so strong and carried on. Nobody knows I haven't spoken about it. This poem describes the feeling exactly. <3

While its nice to know I'm not alone, it pains me so much to know so many others have and are currently dealing with this. Brooke, I'm shocked by your story. Let me start by saying I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine what it must be like to be so betrayed by someone you love and trust, especially as adults, in the most despicable way ever. PLEASE KNOW IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! I think that was the most disturbing thing I read in your post. Its natural to feel guilt and shame after sexual abuse, so don't feel bad. Your brother is the one who wronged you, and you are in absolutely NO WAY at fault for it. Also, as scary as it is (if you haven't done so already) YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEONE RIGHT AWAY! He needs to take responsibility and pay for the terrible hurt he has done to you! Not just for justice on your part, but also for his new baby and any other vulnerable person close to him. If he is capable of raping his adult sister, he is capable of hurting anyone...

.Reach out to your mom or sister who have been through the same thing. They are your best audience and support system because they can relate to your pain and they love you and care for you deeply. You may be surprised at how much better you feel just getting it off your chest. It really is liberating and takes some of the emotional weight off your shoulders. But once again, if you haven't already, PLEASE TELL SOMEONE! A leopard never changes his spots, and an abuser/rapist will ALWAYS attack again! Its simply a matter of time! You should be the one who will prevent him from doing it again to someone else, like god forbid his new baby or anyone else for that matter! I wish you the best in all your endeavors and pray you do the right thing! God bless...