Depression Poem

For all those who are suffering with depression

Struggling With Depression And Suicide

© Debbie Leads
Struggling with Depression & Suicide – A Personal Perspective
By Debbie Leads 8/10/03

Days of endless struggle
More hopeful pills today
Trying to appear ‘normal’
In some sort of way.

It seems that the struggle
Is always here with me
And I wouldn’t be here now
If guilt would leave me be

I know there’s been many
Who’ve had it worse than I
But that doesn’t always mean
That I wouldn’t say good-bye

People say I have a lot going for me
I’m sorry, but I just can’t see
I can’t see because my worst enemy
Is not my life, but inside of me.

Always on a roller coaster,
Not much consistency
I’m nothing if I’m not up or down
I’m nothing if just ‘me.’

Very little energy
Wanting to stay in bed
Wishing to be enthusiastic
Instead of feeling like I’m made of lead.

Wanting to be excited
Wanting to care for more
But when nothing makes sense
It’s hard to focus on the poor.

Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking
It’s hard to keep in touch
With what is happening around me
And not to worry too much.

I feel that everybody is better than me
And that I can’t do anything right.
This is how I’ve felt my whole dang life
It didn’t just start last night.

No confidence, no self-esteem
Everybody else is right
To speak my mind is to be a fool
So I just try to ‘sit tight.’

Any one of these problems
Would be a heavy vice
But when you have them ALL
Living seems like a roll of the dice.

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Published: Dec 2007

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  • I fell this way ever day I don't know how I can go on day to day, but I do. When I read this poem it gave me hope to be better at doings things and not screwing things up all the time

    Danyelle, Roswell NM Submitted Nov 2009
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  • I was diagnosed with depression and was the only one in my family who ever had it. I felt so alone. there were so many things I didn't know. so many meds and side effects. I started to freak out. what was I going to do? then I read this poem and I calmed down. I just needed to take things one step at a time.

    Kim, Michigan Submitted Oct 2010
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  • I think this poem is really good and really captures how people with depression feel. I have now had depression for 4 years, since my dad died when I was 13. It broke my heart because my whole family fell apart...
    This poem makes me feel, however, that I'm not alone

    Rachel, Ireland Submitted Jan 2011
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  • Wow...this poem really hit home for me. When you are struggling with major depression and you want to find a way for people that are close to you to understand how you are feeling...thus poem would do it. I read it to my husband and he said wow.

    Amber Marie, Tx Submitted Apr 2011
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  • This really touched me and I read it twice and the second times reading I just totally broke down crying and it seemed like the tears jus wouldn't stop falling. Thank you

    Alejandra, Nj Submitted Dec 2011
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  • I''m scared about my sister.

    G, NY Submitted Jan 2012
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  • I don't know how any of us go on....I'm 34, diagnosed when I was 20, realized I have had it since a small child. It just seems to get worse and worse to the point that I cannot even hold down a job anymore. I wouldn't wish depression on my worst enemy....

    Carin, Missouri Submitted Feb 2012
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  • I absolutely love this. I can totally relate. Ever since I was a teen, I've been battling w/ depression. Thank you for the great poem. It makes me feel some comfort in knowing I'm not so alone in these feelings!

    Stephanie, United States Submitted Feb 2012
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  • I appreciate your posting this. Of course I am not glad you have had to suffer to be able to write this out, but it is certainly helpful to me to know I am not alone and that others struggle through this darkness that wants to take over our minds. Hang in there and I will too. Sunlight helps me a lot, that and fresh air. Baby steps.

    Anderson, SC Submitted Jun 2012
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  • I got depressed after having most of my intestines removed when I was 18. I have to be close to my bathroom all the time. I can't work and have a few friends. I found my best friend dead almost 3 years ago, I did CPR until help arrived but I couldn't save her and neither could they. I keep waiting for my last parent to die. How selfish of me to make my Mom go through my death. Now my sister and I talk a little and I'm worried about doing it to her when my mom goes. I know my life is good compared to others, it doesn't make the depression go away. I've tried to kill myself but it never took. No one knows I tried. I got close to telling a friend, and now I don't hear from her.

    Lucy, Oregon Submitted Sep 2012
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  • Your poem has helped me explain to my family and friend how I feel. I have never been able to put it into words without being angry. Thank you for this offering to all of us who quietly suffer, you have given us words to express our feelings.

    Suz, Wa Submitted Oct 2012
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  • To: Lucy, Oregon

    I've tried suicide several times & I never succeeded (for different reasons). I guess we're here for a reason. It took me awhile to get on the right combination of anti-depressants to finally get some relief. Also, and I am not kidding, I rebuke Satan & any unclean spirits whenever I feel even a "hint" of depression coming on. When I first tried this, I had to rebuke maybe 75 times a day, but now I only do it approximately three times a week. It is important to walk with the Lord as well as read your Bible daily. You may feel I am preaching to you, but I once left the Lord because I had given up hope. Today I know that I will never, ever leave Him again.

    Jacqueline, Michigan Submitted Oct 2012
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  • This poem actually relates to what I am feeling now at school. I am also a poem and a story writer, but every time I think to myself that suicide is the only way out it gets me in the erg to kill myself. But I won't give up as yet, I will keep my head high no matter what these Inagua idiots say.

    Bahamas Submitted Oct 2012
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  • I never go to many websites for I'm hardly ever on the computer. But when I read this poem, every word in it describes me completely! I feel so alone with my depression, nobody understands me so I try to keep it inside. This is the best poem I've ever read that I can totally relate to.

    thank you,
    Brenda

    Brenda, Kentucky Submitted Jan 2013
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  • Reading this poem made my eyes a lil watery. it reminds me so much of how I feel everyday of my life. I try my hardest everyday to not give in. I tell my self don't listen to the devil I try and keep gods name in my heart.

    Thank You

    Adrian Lockhart, Milwaukee Wisconsin Submitted Mar 2013
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  • I'm sorry for all of you that have to go through this. I've had depression for yrs. I am 48. My son has it to and I'm scared for him. He keeps making one mistake after another, now he has two children and he and his gf are splitting up. His fault. I've begged him to get on meds, to see someone. He feels he is nothing. He had a bad childhood as a lot of children do. As his Mom I have tried and tried, but he lies to therapists? I don't get it. I'm scared I'm going to lose him. There is hope, there is God, and there are meds that can help you, you have to make yourself do it. Get off the couch the bed whatever and go get help. Your life will be amazing. I truly believe that. You do have purpose and these dark days will pass. Find that support system whether it be family or clubs or groups. There is help out there, it doesn't have to be this way. I just wish he would listen and trust me. Breaks my heart.

    Theresa, Mi Submitted Apr 2013
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  • I was diagnosed with depression a year ago but they said I've had it since I was about 8 which was when my mum got together with her now ex, who used to abuse me in all the ways. I'm 16 now and every now and again I stay in bed for the whole day crying. I felt so alone before but now that I know I'm not just weak, things are better. I have a bestfriend who is always there for me, but he's never been through half of the things I have which is why, when I have my days in bed, I look for poems on the internet and this one's one of the best ones I've found. It's really powerful when you really feel like the poem describes. So I just want to say thank you for writing this poem.

    Oneday, Uk Submitted 6/4/2013
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  • A beautiful poems, captures how I am feeling perfectly. Depression is something I would not wish on my worst enemies, every day feels a struggle. Thank you for the poem.

    Anonymous Submitted 6/28/2013
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  • I want you to do me a favor. I want you to close your eyes and imagine me. You average all around American girl. Now I want you to go a little deeper imagine a hopeless little girl a 2nd grader loosing her virginity to a nasty old dirt bag because of the negligence from a mother. Imagine being raped on a school bus on your way to school over and over and over again. Repeatedly asking myself why why me? I never quite understood. Imagine this little girl being treated like crap from her own family. Grandmother wishing she wasn't born, saying all these horrible things about her. Parents treating you like you asked to be here. This life this is very hard. I've tired to commit suicide to the point where I can no longer remember how many times. It kills me to wake up each day knowing my family hates me. I have so much to say

    De'Nay, USA Submitted 12/17/2013
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