Addiction Poem

This poem is my life from the age of 13. I'm still loosing the battle to addiction at age 33. Prisons, rehabs, and a pass by Mom has become my fate. This is all I know... I don't want it, but I'm to tired to try something different. (failure would do me in) My kids and family accept me being a junkie. They're scared I'll die in the drug world? No, I'm one of the unlucky ones- I've lived every heart breaking day of it. In the poem I wrote "she''s dead", b/c that's how I feel. Dead, merely existing...

Welcome To Hell

© Nelly Barnes
''Welcome to Hell," the sign should've read,
Reaching your destination-all in your head!
"Last call for the train heading to Nowhere Fast,"
The memories you create will forever last.
You want to buy a ticket, What's the cost, you ask?
Just hop on board, we'll talk once your trashed.
Close your eyes and picture something grand,
No peeking! Now trust me, and give me your hand!
To a beach with water and the sun shining down,
Open up! No beach here, you're hell bound.
Of course there's water! But it's for your rig and spoon,
Lil' girl, don't be afraid- 14 years old isn't that soon?
The men don't bite, but you'll be messed up beyond belief,
When you do pass out, not remembering- a relief.
Ashamed to face Mommy! Got to have that coke!
Shooting dope everyday, A girl with dreams lost all hope.
I laugh at you as you toss your life in the wind,
To far gone... it's us till' the end.
I'll be there when you loose your pride,
When you forget your morals, I'm at your side.
You'll cheat and steal to have that fix,
Won't take baby to the doctor although she's sick.
Getting a pill- definitely #1 on the list,
Oops. Another appointment baby missed.
Nanny buys diapers because Mommy stays high,
Daddy hits Mommy and the children cry.
After years of this bliss the kids got took,
Mommy is a junkie and fast becoming a crook.
You'll land in jail, a drug addict you remain,
Your heart turns cold as you play the game.
Do not pass go- strip your dignity right here,
This old man wants you, dry your tears,
Quote a price! Self respect long forgotten,
You'd sell your soul to the devil for an Oxycontin.
I told you girl the destination is in your head!
"Welcome To Hell!" Next stop... Well, she's dead.
I told you that I'd stick it out till' the end,
For me, you traded your dreams and kids,
Your Addiction, Life, and your faithful Friend.

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Published: Feb 2011

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  • This poem really hit home for me, I am a recovering heroin addict of 9 yrs now, and even though I wasn't addicted to oxys, I know what its like to be a slave to something just as bad, if not worse. This poem sounds like an instant replay of my life up until nine yrs ago. For all of the struggling addicts out there or even for the ones that will use for the first time today, you're not alone....and the fight isn't over until you say it is.

    Andrea, TN Submitted Jul 2011
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  • Hello! I am praying for your full recovery from addiction. You say that you feel dead because of your addiction. During the 11 years that my brother was using drugs it was like he was dead to me. I did not accept him as an addict because he was someone I didn't know. He was not the brother who I remembered who cared and stood up for me, who helped me learn and explore the world, who played tonka trucks and taught me how to climb a tree. He was a stranger who stole, lied, begged, and destroyed. For years I mourned him like he was dead as I was sure that is where he would end up. I wanted to believe he "died" at age 15 when he became an addict. That way I never had to think about who he had become if that makes any sense. So in May of 2010 I believe an Angel brought my brother home to me to care for. My husband and I spent the last 15 mo getting him off drugs and beginning a responsible life. He just recently moved in with his girlfriend who is not an addict And is doing very well.

    Andrea Street, Albany Oregon Submitted Aug 2011
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  • Mommy, I love you! and everything happens for a reason. I know when you get out of jail this time you will change. At least I damn sure hope you do! Anyways I will always love you no matter what.

    Monticello, Kentucky Submitted Sep 2011
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  • I fought that same battle everyday and I could never win alone. I shot it, smoked it, snorted it, drank it, honestly if addiction convinced me that cutting my arm off would get me high I would've done that too. This is real and it's killing people everyday. Every week I check the obituaries and I see someone I knew from the "streets" I never won that battle alone.... but I no longer fight alone, I have God and if he can save a junkie like me. I know there is hope for everyone else. I can't say everyday is perfect now because I would be lying but, my worst day sober is better than my best day using. Have faith because God can help you! Obviously your children love you, with out a doubt... I can only imagine how happy they would be if you were clean. Know that we all have our demons to fight, but sweetie you do not have to fight it alone. One day you can stand strong and look your demon in the eye and say YOU DON'T OWN ME! You are a child of god, all you have to do is let him in!

    New Mexico Submitted Mar 2012
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  • Wow...Please don't give up...I'd love to find out one day that the shackles that have bound you are finally broken. Both my daughters are struggling with addiction. My youngest is currently incarcerated at age 18 due to opiate addiction. My oldest, 23, is battling opiate & meth addictions as well as an eating disorder. She's been to the ER several times with infections from shooting up, but she says she doesn't see the point of trying to get sober. I sent your poem in a Facebook message to her, as I hope it will reach her like it did me. God Bless you and keep you...Carolyn

    Carolyn, Colorado Submitted Aug 2012
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  • I really love this, it hits home in so many ways. I am battling an opiate addiction, have been for 7 years and have done everything to get my fix. I am now going to be a convicted felon because of my drug use. I would have never done the things I did if I would have never turned to drugs to solve my problems. I have been fortunate that I am still living and with the amount I have taken I have never overdosed (Lucky as Hell)! This is so inspiring, I am now 72 days clean and I find it extremely hard to stop even thinking about it. I hope your struggle with addiction goes well.

    Heather, Charleston, WV Submitted Oct 2012
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  • 15 years an addict myself.... every day sober is a battle, a struggle. but it is not impossible. Some addicts go back 20 years later. 1 time is too many. My children give me strength, when I can not find it within myself.

    Paul Blanchard Submitted Mar 2013
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  • This is a great poem and tells it like it is - drugs are the reason children cry. My brother died young in a drink driving car accident. I boycott booze because I never want to support the booze industry.

    Geoff, Australia Submitted 7/20/2013
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  • Great poem! I do understand the struggle we face everyday. I know the rig and the silver spoon and how it's a whole new game. I'm fighting the battle with crystal meth and it's such a terrible thing, full of disappointment and watching it destroy life, tear family apart and you just lie to yourself saying oh I'll never get that bad can't happen to me. Stuck in world of denial where hope seems bleak and no God insight. Just got to keep strong minutes at time. Thank you for sharing. I wish all the best of luck starving the monster inside us.

    John Submitted 3/26/2014
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