Sickness Poem

Dementia Awareness

I wrote this poem to raise awareness of people suffering from dementia. I work as a caregiver, and until starting this job, I didn't understand much about dementia or how it affected people. I would like to share my newfound knowledge with others and ensure that everyone knows that it isn't just "being forgetful" or "being difficult" and that it is just as distressing for those suffering as it is for those around them.

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Sometimes you just NEED a break. My parents' assisted living center is short on staff, and I'm trying to be there more. Last night I fed them BOTH and then (with my horrible back with tumors...

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Living With Dementia

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Published by Family Friend Poems October 2021 with permission of the Author.

My mind is not what it once was:
wilting like a rose.
One thing you must remember:
this is not the life I chose.

Memories grow more distant
each and every day.
I never once considered
that I'd end up this way.

So please hold judgement.
Let me be.
Please be patient.
I am still me.

It takes a little longer now for me to understand
but with your help, I will.
My moods and symptoms vary,
but I am human still.

Dementia comes in many forms,
we need to spread the word.
Make everyone you know aware,
as they may not have heard.

I hope we find a cure one day,
for I feel like I'm stuck.
Researchers work very hard,
I pray they have some luck.

My mind is not what it once was:
wilting like a rose.
One thing you must remember:
this is not the life I chose.

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  • A.AmericanWoman by A.AmericanWoman
  • 2 years ago

I'm a sole 100% disabled caregiver of 2 elderly parents - both with different dementias. My brother committed suicide, so I was "it" and learned the hard way. I've cared for them 5-6 years nonstop. All the "family" I loved so much never lifted 1 finger to help, knowing I'm 100% disabled, running 90+ hours a week, barely able to eat 1-2 meals a week with no time to do anything. Yet not one was there for me or my parents. I became very bitter as I'd loved all my family and had always been there for them and their problems. There were no encouragement cards, meals, or calls, just silence as I've suffered horrifically, worked long hours, watching my parents slowly dying, feeling I was dying with them. Now my parents are in the late stages in assisted living. Dad hasn't known me for 2 years. Mom does (barely). Today was her 85th birthday. The enormous stress has ruined my health. This has been the hardest, most heartbreaking job ever, and no one cared. My heart's broken. This poem is beautiful and true.

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  • Emma L. Buckley by Emma L. Buckley Poet
  • 2 years ago

Your parents are so incredibly lucky to have had you over these years to care for them. It isn't an easy job for anyone, so I cannot imagine the pain it has caused you to suffer it alone. I know that words from a stranger cannot resolve what you have had to go through, but you have done an amazing job and given them both something that nobody else could/would. They would be so proud and so grateful of you for this.

  • Selena Morgan by Selena Morgan
  • 2 years ago

Well, I can relate to how someone with dementia is losing their life right in front of their own eyes. I have seen a few family members wither away. I'm watching my mother get slowly taken away from us, and it breaks my heart to see her like this. I can't seem to go over to see her, and I know that's the most important thing is don't let her go through this alone.

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  • A.AmericanWoman by A.AmericanWoman
  • 2 years ago

Sometimes you just NEED a break. My parents' assisted living center is short on staff, and I'm trying to be there more. Last night I fed them BOTH and then (with my horrible back with tumors on my spine and a recent car wreck that made it worse - the driver who caused it got a way) I had to lift my mother's full weight, as I have my father's before. I wanted to go today so much, but I just couldn't go. I understand you. Some days I can't do it, and the guilt is terrible. It's a horrible way to die, worse to watch. We need down days where we give ourselves permission to not go visit. If you have any family that can go for you, please ask them. In my case, I'm it. So, I'll be there tomorrow. My favorite saying is, "You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice." With dementia caregiving, no one understand the long-term grief that lasts for years upon years (10-12, in my case). So different than a death you grieve and get back to your life. I have had no life for 5 years. I just want the pain to stop. So sad!

  • Emma L. Buckley by Emma L. Buckley Poet
  • 2 years ago

I am so sorry to hear your mother is going through this. I cannot begin to imagine what this is doing to the both of you, and I completely understand how heartbreaking it is to see. She's very lucky to have you and your kind heart to stick by her through this. My thoughts are with you both through this difficult time.

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