Anger Poem

Poem About A Miserable Life

I am a survivor of child sexual abuse by my father. This is one of many of my reflections on how the abuse has not only changed my life forever, but how it has completely killed any happiness in my life as well. I am 25 now, 26 next month. My father has been in prison for the last 19 years for the abuse against my brother and me. His earliest release date is for July 22, 2024. He will be 74 then. I hope to God he never lives to see outside of the prison walls.

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This poem deeply touched me, because I can completely relate to it. I have always lived in my brother's shadow, and most times, I wonder if my mom ever even cares or listens to me. This poem,...

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Dear Mom

Published by Family Friend Poems February 2011 with permission of the Author.

Standing in self-hatred,
drowning in my tears.
Looking back on my life,
what I've been through the past 18 years.
Living in my brother's shadow,
everything I do and say,
wishing somehow things would change,
praying for a way.
Same old crap just another day,
living this evil life that was created just for me.
Starving for love, affection, and attention,
I know none of this is how it's really supposed to be.
I try to be strong,
even though I feel so weak.
Feel like just giving up,
but I won't accept that level of defeat.
Pretend like I'm always happy,
although I'm never really okay.
Waiting for this pain to end,
that I feel every stupid day.
It's hard to say what's wrong,
when nothing's going right.
Hard to keep myself going,
when I've been blinded by sight.
This pain is never ending,
it just goes on and on and on.
It's all so unbelievably real,
I just wish it all was gone.
Trying to pick myself up,
when I've fallen so far and hard.
But I don't know where I'm going,
It's all so very dark.
My heart is weak, my emotions sore,
I do my best to never let it show.
But deep down inside I feel like,
I'm dying and nobody knows.
A lot of messed up thoughts
run through my head constantly.
I just wish I didn't live
this life of MISERY!

Written by: Katrina Randklev
2007-2008

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!

by Marceline
11 years ago

This poem deeply touched me, because I can completely relate to it. I have always lived in my brother's shadow, and most times, I wonder if my mom ever even cares or listens to me. This poem, despite the tragedies it tells about, has made me feel so much better.

by California
11 years ago

Hello I'm Cindy I read this poem to my mom and she asked me to translate what she is about to tell me, "Be strong, you and her past by the same things she was abused by her uncle, grandpa, his friends and her cousins. She always thought the same things she would ask herself "What did I do to deserve this god?" and one day I got an answer that maybe I was the strongest one from my sisters so I accepted it for them. All she hopes is for you to get help like how she did cuz yes in the beginning she thought that they couldn't help her but now she thinks better about life and that her motivation now are us her kids. Keep trying and soon someone will enter your life and make you forget cuz you where just a innocent little child who didn't deserve anything that happened to you.

by Samantha
12 years ago

I was also sexually abused by my father too and by my own siblings! I have gone through my whole life as a foster child up until just recently I was adopted! I have met God and many good people that have changed my life and because of them I have learned to forgive and forget just to live my life and change my future family. I am breaking the cycle now and forever. No matter what happens my family will not go through the same things as me!

by Debra, Florida
12 years ago

Everything in this poem touched my heart because I too am a survivor of a childhood full of abuse, pain and rejection. My adopted mother was very deeply disturbed, religious and extremely unstable. She was also quite unattractive and mean spirited and criminally beat and/or tormented me almost daily.
The Lord Jesus has healed me a lot through the years but I am still deeply scarred and sensitive to the threat of abuse. I take the slightest feeling of a threat seriously. As a woman in my late 50's, I still am healing and am wondering if that will ever really and fully change.
Thanks for listening!