Published: May 2008
I Needed You
I needed you to be cheer me up.
Instead I drank till I was numb enough not to feel anything.
When everyone was attacking me and putting me down, making me feel so low,
I needed you to be the one to defend me and be on my side
Instead I endured all the cruel words and criticism the world threw at me.
When I lost all my friends and had no one,
I needed you to be that only friend I had left,
Instead I experienced what the word "friendless" really meant.
When I was scared and frightened,
I needed you to be my security blanket.
Instead I had to live in fear.
When I was angry and full of rage,
I needed you to calm me down,
Instead I kept it all bottled up inside.
When I felt so lonely and needed someone to care,
I needed you to hold me tight and never let me go.
Instead I grew up alone with no one to turn to.
When I was hurt and in pain,
I needed you to come running with you healing ways.
Instead I remained scarred and bruised.
When I would inflict self-torture, wanting to die,
I needed you to stop me and tell me how important I was.
Instead I hid my scars and became oblivious to everyone.
When I would cry myself to sleep at night,
I needed you to wipe the tears away.
Instead I held my pillow tight while never ending tears streamed down my face.
When my world was crashing down on me,
I needed you to be the one I ran to.
Instead I locked myself in my room in complete despair.
When I felt unloved,
I needed you to tell me how much you loved me.
Instead I learned the words "I love you" are meaningless.