Husband Death Poem

My husband passed away in 2005. Everyone thinks that I am strong and have moved on. I am still grieving, but no one wants to listen. No one wants to hear that. "Adequate time has passed," they say. What is adequate time? I was left with a 5 year old son, so I had to continue on, but I still feel so depressed and alone at times. My son is now my life. He is what keeps me any semblance of what is supposed to be "strong".

Missing You

© Kathy Murphy
I sit alone now in the darkness of despair.
I cry my silent tears,
My heart is broken into a million tiny pieces.
The silence is deafening to my ears.
The darkness frightens me,
The shadows climb the wall.
I hear footsteps walking,
Passing through the hall.
The loneliness surrounds me,
It takes my breath away,
This is the pattern of my life,
Since that awful, dreadful day.
Without a clue
Without a hint
Of what was yet to be,
God called you home
To be with him
And took you away from me.
I walk, I talk. I carry on
When the sun pokes out it's head
But when darkness falls
And evening comes
I cannot go to bed.
For this is when I miss you most of all
When I curl into a little ball
And cry those silent tears.
Watching the shadows,
And missing you.

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Published: May 2011

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  • I lost my husband almost 7 months ago, and this is exactly how I feel. The nights are just the hardest. I keep hoping they will get easier, but they don't. The loneliness and emptiness are just overwhelming. My son is 13 and the only reason I have to get up every day. My friends and family try to be helpful, but they just don't understand. I feel so lost and alone.

    Mindy, Chicago Submitted Feb 2012
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  • I too lost my husband 4 months ago, I am lost without him. He did everything for me. He took care of me when I needed things, he took care of me when I was ill, then it was my turn to do in return for him.
    I miss him a lot, more than anyone knows. Every day is hard for me. It will take a long time before anything will come about. I will keep my husband always in my heart. I get up every day and think it is going to get better, sometimes it does and then it doesn't, unless you are with your friends or family. some say you will get over it, well if you haven't lost a loved one close to you, you will never get over it.
    Ruthann, Ohio

    Ruthann, Toledo Ohio Submitted May 2012
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  • The anniversary of my husbands death will be 10 years June 23rd and it still feels the same. I don't think you do ever get over it!
    HE would be thirty and I am still angry!,

    Kandace Carson, Ont Canada Submitted Jun 2012
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  • Dear Kathy,
    I lost my husband 602 days ago. Yes, I count, days, weeks, months. People tell me I should get "over it". They just don't understand. I try to smile & put on a "happy" face for the world. Mostly for my four children.
    I am sad, depressed, angry, devastated, miserable, lonely - sometimes I don't leave my house for days. I'm not "over it" and doubt I will ever be.
    {{{hugs}}} to you and your son. Thank you for this wonderful poem. It's says everything in my heart .....and more!! XO

    Cheryl, Chicago Submitted Jun 2012
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  • I lost my husband six months ago on a day like today and this this is exactly how I feel. The nights are just the hardest, it feels like it gets worse everyday my family doesn't understand why I cry no one seems to understand all I keep hearing is that life goes on , yeah it's easy for them to say it because they doesn't know how painful and lonely you feel. I still miss him more than ever

    Cinthya, Florida Submitted Jun 2012
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  • I lost my husband five months ago. He was killed one house down in my neighbor's yard on March 13th of this year trying to prevent an argument between two of our neighbors from escalating into gunfire and was shot from behind. He was 33 years old and would have been 34 in April. We have two children that at the time, were 11 and 1. Our youngest a girl turned 2, eight days after he was killed. Our son just turned 12, exactly five months from his death on the 13th of this month. It would have been our 13th anniversary on Sept 9th. He was my best friend and my one and only true love. I am 33 years old and have buried two daughters (one in 2004 and one in 2007) and now a husband. They are buried across from each other. Life moves on and basically drags you with it leaving you still trying to compute the harsh reality. When I read this poem I could really relate and am very sorry that you and your son have to go through this as well. God bless and keep you both on this journey.

    Danielle, Texas Submitted Aug 2012
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  • I lost my husband 5 months ago, I am lost without him. He did everything for me. He took care of me when I needed things, he took care of me when I was ill, then it was my turn to do in return for him.
    I miss him a lot, more than anyone knows. Every day is hard for me. It will take a long time before anything will come about. I will keep my husband always in my heart. I get up every day and think it is going to get better, sometimes it does and then it doesn't, unless you are with your friends or family. Some say you will get over it, well if you haven't lost a loved one close to you, you will never get over it. D ko alam kailan ako mkaka move on

    Jacquelinep. Taquilid Philippines Submitted Aug 2012
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  • I lost my husband 28 weeks ago on his birthday. He went to work and never came home. I never even got to give him his birthday card. But for whatever reason we had his birthday dinner the night before. I look back at some weird things that happened and we said. On his way out the door that day he said, give me a extra hug and kiss for my birthday. The minute I received the call at work from his work I just knew in my heart that I would never see him again. Our 25th Anniversary is coming up soon and I don't know how I will get through it. So during the day I try to be strong but when I get home I miss him so much. He was my best friend, lover and husband. am trying to be strong and move on but it is hard.

    Pat, Racine Submitted Sep 2012
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  • I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago, He was such important part of my life, my friend, lover, father to our children and a brother and son. He did so much for all of us, He was always helping people. Working around the house, God took him to soon, I was not prepared for him to go, I will never forget that day, He had just found out 1 month before he passed that he was going to be a grandpa, She arrived 3 days after his birthday, People keep telling me to move on and get over it, but I can't, I feel like the walls are coming down on me, its so quiet in the house, no one to talk to, no one visits anymore, I feel very alone, it is hard, I miss him so much

    Pam Williams, Springfield, Ohio Submitted Sep 2012
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  • I lost my husband 8 months ago, and this is how I feel. The nights are long, the days are short, and I keep praying and hoping it will get better. I try to go on for our kids, but sometimes it seems like they're the strongest. Everyone says it will get better but, until you've lost the love of your life, your bestfriend, your husband and soulmate... you will never understand my pain or what I'm going through. He will always be in my heart. Nobody could take his place because he was a one of a kind.

    Gwen Jackson, Jackson, Alabama Submitted Oct 2012
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  • I lost my husband 15 days, 8 hours and 8 mins ago we just burying him yesterday. This poem hits home that I miss him the most at night cause in the daytime our kids are with me and grandchildren keep me busy, but at night no one is here. I miss him so much you see he was the love of my life and a great father and the best papa that ever lived it would have been 35 years on March 31 and now I have nothing but memory to comfort me at night.

    Betty Guevara, Pomona, Ca Submitted Nov 2012
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  • I lost my husband April 25,2012 because of complications I believe from a male nurse trying to insert a pic line. Before two days were up my darling was gone. I really have no desire to go on. I really don't want to live without my baby. We have three grown children, and a 17 year old who will soon graduate high school. Yes the nights are hardest, sometimes you cannot sleep without some kind of help. My life and our children's lives changed forever on that day. On Christmas this year, he will be gone eight months. Yes you count every minute, every second, hour, day and week. Does life go on? Not for me, you see true love never dies, I truly love my darling and he truly loved me. So until I see him again, and I sincerely know I will, because he was a good Christian man, I will drag on. Life doesn't mean a lot anymore, Everyday he brought a smile to my face and my heart, and he brought joy to my soul, But Praise be to God, I do have the hope we will be re-united forever one sweet day, Gods blessings to you all.

    Kathy, KY Submitted Dec 2012
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  • I am coming up on a 5 year mark when I lost my husband. Sad to say but it still hurts like it did the first few months. I have been to groups and counseling but nothing eases the pain and loneliness. Family was great in the beginning but now it seems to bother them. I still wear my wedding ring and I am living on but I just don't fit in anywhere anymore. Widow is a lonely harsh title that I never wanted. Thank you for the poem and it is comforting to know we are not alone in this world. Take care

    Linda Submitted Dec 2012
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  • I read all of these and feel like other people understand how I feel. My husband died almost a year ago and my boys are only teenagers. I feel like I am competing sometimes with my mother in law as her failure to move forward at all for my boys means she hurts so much more. I have to pretend to be happy every day, pretend to be ''normal'' whatever that is anymore. I have lost my life....my future and my love. I cry alone, at night because no one wants to hear I am not doing ok.....thank you for sharing ladies, it is comforting knowing I am not alone.

    Lynn, Canada Submitted Dec 2012
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  • Exactly how so many feel!
    After a 15 month battle with melanoma, God called my husband home on December 19, 2012. We were together for 22 years. We spent most of our time together just talking about anything or nothing at all. We went almost every place together. We were never apart for more than a few days the entire 22 years. It's so hard trying to wrap my brain around him not being here. All our friends said we had a ''forever love''. Forever together heart and soul.

    Valerie Submitted Dec 2012
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  • Jan 2nd will mark the 2nd year anniversary of the death of my beloved husband. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him & imagine what life could be if he was still here. People don't know the feeling of losing a husband until it actually happens to them. Thanks for sharing your story & I will keep you all in my thoughts & prayers.

    Lat, CA Submitted Dec 2012
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  • My husband James passed Jan. 6 he was my life I don't know what to do. We would have celebrated are 20 year wedding day Jan. 25. It's so hard trying to maintain and figure out what to do day by day...

    Audra Submitted Jan 2013
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  • Hello everyone, My name is Erika And I lost My Elliot, the love of my life on August 17th 2012 at 2:55 pm it was a Friday 4 days away from what would have been our 9th wedding anniversary. It has been 5 months and 14 days since I have seen his beautiful face, but yet it feels like yesterday that I saw his beautiful face. Elliot was my Husband, Lover, Friend, my person in every sense of the word. The emptiness I feel consumes me and as the days go by it gets harder and harder to go on. As most of you have said no one, absolutely no one understands the pain I or any of us feel. Melanoma took my Elliot away from me and I am angry at the world. Thank you for allowing me to share

    Erika, Salisbury Mills Ny Submitted Jan 2013
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  • My husband, Johnny passed on November 2007. We spent 26 years together and we had 6 kids. We loved each other from first sight, and still to the end. Even now I love him still. I watched him get sicker and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do was to let him go. I didn't want to but cried and gave him permission to go. I felt guilty like I murdered the man who loved me. He told me he was ready and he knew the way, that's when I told him it's ok now you can go. I couldn't control my sadness. I am better than I used to be. My life hard with out him. Our children needed him, I needed him, all we have is each other. Life was wonderful and safe with him. I am blessed, thankful to have had him for so long. He was our center, our life evolved around him. We all miss him so much. Memories is what is left. I Love You Johnny, our family is big and beautiful with 9 grand children. Thank you for giving us life and sharing your smile. We remember you always.

    Michelle, White Swan, Wa Submitted Mar 2013
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  • My wonderful husband died one month and two days ago. I feel as if I'm wandering through a landscape made of thick, sticky mud. I keep telling myself to just breathe and put one foot in front of the other. I have so much guilt because I didn't see how ill he was and he wasn't telling me because he didn't want to upset me. That's who he was - he always thought of my first. He is such a lovely, caring, patient, giving and tender person. Our life together was still so full of promise and dreams of things to come. I feel my life is over. I want nothing more but to be with him. I'm so sad and feel so alone. I can't get through a day without crying my eyes out. Everyone says - give it time - I don't want time - I want him. I just want to be with him but I'm too afraid to kill myself because I'm afraid I'll go to hell and never be able to be with him again. I can't bear this pain, but I will if someone can promise me that he will be there waiting when my time comes.

    Marilyn, Littleton, CO Submitted Apr 2013
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  • I lost my John on 18 December 2008. We were married for 28 years and have two wonderful children. I miss him everyday and I still have his ashes in my home as I cannot part with them yet. I have not closed that chapter of life yet.

    He was my friend, lover, confidant, teacher. I learnt so much from him as we got married when I was only 18 and he 22. He was a wise man and had so much to give. A third party took him away from me, one I could not fight and it consumed him and claimed his life. But through all his tribulations with this evil demon he stayed a wonderful father and husband.

    Darling you were ripped from our lives so suddenly before we had the chance to say goodbye or sorry for everything. You are now in a better place. We miss you so much. R.I.P. John

    Pretoria South Africa Submitted Apr 2013
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  • My precious husband passed away August 10th, 2012. He left such an imprint in the lives of so many people, especially mine. We were so synchronously in tune for 46 years, I have felt at times as though my balance is thrown away. I have found that as I seek the Lord for His purpose for the remainder of my journey in this life, just giving and sharing memories of his good qualities, healing began in my heart. Oh how we loved celebrating life together, enjoying one another's company, finding beauty in each other and things we treasured together. Now I see a hint of new purpose unfolding as a flower petal captured on a camera lens, each day a hint more revealed. I hear the Lord whisper, "I have a purpose for you My child." And life is no longer standing still but purpose is unfolding. Thank You Lord for working all things in my life according to Your purpose (Rom.8:28).

    Julie Submitted May 2013
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  • My dear husband had never been sick yet the last 17 days of his life was in a hospital. I certainly didn't know what to do, the nurse's came in and gave him some Morphine. He took 1 good breath and another then one tear, another breath and he was gone. No more do I get to hold his hand, hear his laughter, and hear that beautiful heart. He went home on March 17th I only thought I'd been thru it all NOT. I even doubt if I was a good enough wife hadn't I taken good enough care. I cry day and night some places I can't even go it was our place. I LOVED HIM SO MUCH & HE IS MISSED

    Gloria Noble, Falls City,Tx Submitted Jun 2013
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  • Tom is gone from my life. He was most of my life, so now I am just this empty shell. This Enormous emptiness engulfs what is my new normal life. How does one move on from something like this? Time, just only passes by. I am trying to fill my time with what has to be done, but I fell like I am just passing time. Empty, that's my life now, can't talk about him just thinking about him hurts and bring the pain and tears. It's only been 60 days since his life and most of mine ended. In a strange way I am glad he died before me because I would never want to put him through this kind of Hell.

    Deb Tucker Submitted Jun 2013
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  • My Husband died suddenly in the night of our 25th anniversary. I tried to save him to no avail, An aortic aneurysm took his life within minutes. He was 49. The pain is so intense that I can only let it out in dribbles...throughout the day. By nightfall it takes me over. My fears, remembering the night, reaching for him. I don't know how to live, I was 16 when we became inseparable. He was always there, unchanging, my rock. Our families rock. I am going on hour by hour again. Day by day is just not working. Its been 27 days and feels like yesterday. I miss him so much, Can't fall asleep, night are the worst. Thank you for the poem. I thought I'd better get on a site that understands. I know my friends are tired of seeing my sadness on Facebook.

    Shannon, Michigan Submitted Jun 2013
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  • My husband passed away almost 3 months ago at the age of 26, because people on the road do not know how to drive. We have no little ones so I'm left alone, fighting alone. This poem is exactly how I feel!!! Thank you

    Amanda, Florida Submitted Jul 2013
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  • I lost my husband 6 years ago on the 31.8.2007. I still feel the pain and the heartache. They say as time goes by it gets easy will I am still waiting for that time. We were married for 34 years. He was not just my husband but best friend too. He was taken from me with an illness that they knew little about. I love and miss you Mike.

    Sue Dennis, Australia Submitted 8/22/2013
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  • My husband of 41 years died the evening of our 41st wedding anniversary. I am sad and full of tears. He suffered with cancer and it finally beat him. He fought hard to stay with us. I really miss him. He is the love of my life. I thank God for him and our love...

    Best Wishes to all and peace to all,

    Janice Bloom, Pocatello, ID Submitted 11/18/2013
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  • I understand, too well. After I lost my husband on 1/19/2003, I heard the "move on" speech from almost all our "friends". When I didn't, because you can't, one by one they drifted away. Now I only have his Sister to remember him with and even she imposes limits. Grief has no timeframe and will go on as long as it wants. I feel that the more you loved and were loved in return, the worse the grief. I know my Stephen was my everything. He allowed me to grow, encouraged me and loved me no matter what. He was the only man who ever told me I was beautiful and daily told me I was, "cute times 10!". How would someone "get over" love anyway?

    Sharon Wilson, Brooksville, Fl Submitted 1/18/2014
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  • I lost my wonderful husband, Brian, on November 22, 2013. We were together 27 years. He was the absolute love of my life, my best friend - my life. Some days I don't want to go on. I pray for GOD to take my life. We never were able to have children. I am so alone. I do have family that is trying to help but as we know the pain is too much to bear. I will never get over my loss and I look forward to the day I am reunited with him in heaven. I say this saying and this is how I feel. "You were the heart of my life and the life of my heart".

    Kim Jollye Submitted 2/12/2014
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  • I just lost my husband on the 5th. All of your words are exactly how I feel. I feel lost, broken, sad, mad, confused, alone, guilty, weak, like I have no control. I can't fix this. I feel like I was given this huge book and when I picked it, it was full of stories, but now half through the rest of the pages are blank. Our love was written... where did it go? I know we had amazing times and each day if I am lucky I will remember new ones. I will love him forever more than I can explain. It's hard because he was just so amazing and he loved me unconditionally. I didnt have the best childhood and I was bruised before I met him, but he just accepted me, through everything. He taught me what LOVE and LOYALTY really is. I could not have spent the last seven years with anyone better. And even if at times, I didn't get it, he spent the last seven years where he wanted. He is gone so young but he felt what most people chase and look for their entire lives. He's the lucky one. I love you Jason!

    Alaysha Submitted 2/17/2014
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  • My husband Robert the love of my life passed away 3 days after our 34th Anniversary after a fall left him bleedIG in his brain. We fell in love at first sight. He was the most loving compassionate man I had ever met. We had one child. And now have 3 grandchildren. Which I love with all my heart. My husband passed away in 2011 and I am trying my best to do what everybody expects of me. But there are days that I feel so lost and alone. Everybody's answer to this is start dating. That will never happen, I am so in love with my husband and don't ever want that to change. The silence is deafening. I just don't know how or when this gets better. I love him and miss him every minute of every day.

    Kathy, North Dakota Submitted 2/18/2014
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  • I lost my husband just 2 days ago. It was sudden and I was woken up from him trying to catch his breath. I began CPR, I could not get him to wake up. Paramedics arrived and they took over to try to save him. My husband was unresponsive when they got him at the Hospital, Doctors came out to tell me that he passed away. I hurt beyond hurt, my heart is so heavy. I feel like I cannot go on, A part of me has died. I cry all the time, nights are worse for me. Waking up to an empty house and knowing that I am alone. Having to live without my husband who I adored, cherished and loved so much, I hurt beyond hurt. I love him so much and cannot believe he is gone. Just knowing I have to live my life without him scares me, I will cherish the kind of love we had for one another forever.

    Sandy Hogue, Palm Springs California Submitted 2/26/2014
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  • It has been 1 year tomorrow since I lost my husband Cordy to cancer. He was diagnosed in January with lung and brain cancer. He had a very short battle. It was 48 days from the day he was diagnosed until his death. Our 30 year marriage was a wonderful one. We had a business together that we worked at every day together. I feel so much pressure from others to move on. For me, it's one day at a time and that seems so overwhelming. Most days I feel like I just want to be with him as it is next to impossible to push myself to move on. I wish there was an answer for me. Being a young girl of 19 years old when I met my husband, it's the only life I know and miss beyond belief. It's going to be a long haul. It's so hard to keep your faith. I pray every day I will get through this.

    Betty Hendrickson Submitted 3/12/2014
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  • It's been almost 6 months since I lost my husband of 32 years. We had 3 children together and now have 5 grandchildren. He died suddenly at the age of 53. I had just left for work and my son found him putting on his socks early that morning. I wish I was the one to have found him so my son could have been spared such pain. My children are the strong ones. I am just so lost without him. And I am also tired of people telling me stop crying. My family has been great, but again since none of them has ever been through it. It's hard for them to understand.
    Great poem!!!

    Sandy, Cincy, Oh Submitted 3/24/2014
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  • Hi I lost my darling husband on 5 November 2013. Who is sadly missed. It's not a day that goes past that I do not think of him. He's been in my life since I was 17 and were married for 32 years on the day I will never forget 2 May will be our 33rd wedding anniversary and when that day comes I do not know what I'm going to do.

    Sharon Benskin, Camberley Submitted 4/4/2014
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  • My Husband passed away December 19, I cry every night and most days. May 19 will mark the 5 month mark of his death and it is also our secondary anniversary, even though we were only married 2 years we were together for almost 25 yrs. I feel so guilty because he said he would die within the year he would die, I didn't take him seriously and we had 1 anniversary and never again will we share another one. I miss him terribly. Some days I just don't think I can make it another day. People expect me to be happy and I try to put on a mask but the moment I am alone the mask comes off and cry and talk to him. Will the pain ever go away. Will I ever stop feeling guilty for being alive while he isn't. I find myself looking for him everywhere I go and in everything I do, but he isn't there and it hurts so much. Will I ever stop wanting him to be with me?| I just don't know how I will survive without him.

    Evelyn, Surrey BECAUSE Submitted 5/14/2014
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  • Today is the 1st anniversary of my husband's death. I try to smile and put on a "happy" face for the world. Mostly for my 2 precious daughters.
    I am sad, depressed, angry, regret, devastated, miserable. The emptiness I feel consumes me and as the days go by it gets harder and harder to go on. As most of you have said no one, absolutely no one understands the pain I or any of us feel
    The nights are just the hardest...his face kept haunting me...kept coming to my dream...I keep hearing a friend said that life still goes on, yeah it's easy for them to say it because they don't know how painful and regret I feel. I still miss him more than ever. Thank you for giving us life and sharing your smile. We remember you always. Pray for you always....RIP.

    Yustine, Batam Indonesia Submitted 6/17/2014
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