Addiction Poem about Family

Poem For Those Who Love An Addict

For those who love the addict, but don't share in the addiction with them. We still live the life.

An Addict I'm Not...

© Randi Gray
*An Addict I'm Not...
so he pushes me away
hoping I won't see it, and lead him astray
*An Addict I'm Not...
but I must still live the life
dealing and coping
praying one day he'll stop
*An Addict I'm Not...
maybe I feel it more
knowing any moment, he could walk out that door
*An Addict I'm Not...
so I live all alone
sure he's here beside me,
but it's not him that's home
*An Addict I'm Not...
so I deal with his lies
the deceit and the pain
and all the tear free cries
*An Addict I'm Not...
thinking I could help
one day my love will be enough,
but it won't I can tell
*An Addict I'm Not...
I see the pain in his heart and
the fear that grips his soul
as he grabs for his pipe,
and smokes one more bowl
*An Addict I'm Not...
if only he could just see
what I see in him
and know he could someday be
*An Addict I'm Not...
so I watch from afar
as he destroys himself
a little more each day-
Dear God please help him
each night I'll continue to pray!
*Because An Addict I'm Not,
but I must watch him be


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Published: Oct 2007

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  • My husband is a meth addict. I totally can relate to this poem. Every word in this poem is true. I have always been there for him and will continue to be there for him. We have been married 18 years and the last 6 years have been the most hard. He is currently in prison and I hope this has finally settled into him that this will be his life from now on if he doesn't quit! What really hurts is that he will miss our sons graduation from high school this coming year, 2009.

    Cathy Submitted Nov 2008
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  • My father is a porn addict, and you have no idea what this poem means to me. It's like me speaking. Thank you so much.

    Lauren Submitted Dec 2008
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  • My husband is addicted to porn and it helped me cause this is just how I feel thank you and god bless

    stephanie Submitted Jul 2009
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  • My now-ex boyfriend is a crack addict. This poem was so hard for me to read. Thank you for posting this. You give me a sense of...normalcy.

    meghan Submitted Jul 2009
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  • your poem touched me... my mother went through the same as you for twenty years while I continued to slowly kill myself with heroin and crack cocaine. her love for me finally won through and now she can smile again. just wanted to share the experience and hope. god bless.

    mark Submitted Oct 2009
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  • I have 2 sons that are heroin addicts, 1 is in jail by the grace of God the other I believe will succumb to this horrible addiction. I call it the DEVIL

    Mary Derry, NH Submitted Mar 2010
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  • This poem is exactly how I feel right now my partner of six yrs has been addicted to crack and heroin for a long time on and off. Just reading these words my eyes fill with tears he's means the world to me I just wish he could feel what I do.. Thank you for posting it has gave me some what of a comfort knowing there's more than me just feeling this way xxxx

    Louise, England Submitted Mar 2010
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  • My son as been fighting the addiction of heroin for 15 years and is battling once again....this is a very touching poem for me

    Angie, England Submitted Jul 2010
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  • Thank you so much for posting this. I could not hardly read it with out tearing up. My boyfriend of 6 and half yrs is addicted to meth, this is def what I feel and is glad that I'm not the only one out there that has the same feelings.

    Tara Submitted Aug 2010
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  • My son has had 17 operations for a work related injury, and is now addicted to pain killers. He lives with us, and we now live his addiction with no hope of it ever changing or getting him back. We are changing though, into people we don't recognize any longer. Your poem says it all. God bless each of us.

    Mary, NJ Submitted Sep 2010
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  • Thank you everyone for all your thoughts, and I'm proud to husband (the addict from my poem) is currently in recovery! It can happen!

    Randi Gray Submitted Oct 2010
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  • My husband is addicted to weed, now I know you might not think that you can get addicted to weed but believe me its possible. It's hard to tell why he can't stop...but it's difficult to get put through all his crap, but I love him and one day I know it will come we will be free from the devils game.

    Jasmin Acosta Submitted Jan 2011
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  • My boyfriend is addicted to heroin and as I read this poem it was like I was writing it myself. You've expressed things here that I could never put an explanation on. I felt every piece of this poem.

    Danielle , Ohio Submitted Mar 2011
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  • It was amazing to read all of the thoughts and feelings I wasn't able to say. It was like someone pulled all of the words out of my mind.

    Sharon, PA Submitted Nov 2011
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  • My daughter is 21 years old and began using anything she could get her hands on at 14. She is now an IV meth addict living from one fix to the next in seedy motels all over the city. She has a beautiful 2 year old daughter that I am raising. It breaks my heart knowing that if it doesn't stop she will either die or go to prison. I haven't seen her in a month but her sister says she is emaciated and sick...pray for addicts...this insidious disease is the single most destructive problem in not only our families but our entire country

    Fort Worth Submitted Apr 2012
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  • Not only did I read and relate to this poem, but I also wrote it down to send to my boyfriend who has struggled with a crack cocaine addiction for more than 10 years, and has finally, of his own free will, without any suggestion, checked himself into a rehab facility. I have only been with him for 2 of the 10 years that he has had this illness, but unfortunately he was not the first drug addict that I have been with, but the first that I ever truly loved. He has been in rehabs before, not since I've known him, but as court ordered or as ultimatums from family, so I hope and pray that because HE chose this that it will give him the start he needs to stay strong and continue in his recovery. The addict is never the only person affected by their addiction, and I truly believe that once THEY REALIZED that their actions are not only affecting them, they begin to want to get better. Addiction is a disease, but also IS A CHOICE, and the choice to get better is always the hardest one.

    Iloveacrackhead, Flint, Mi Submitted Jul 2012
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  • I have been sitting here crying for hours, with tears streaming down my face once more, while my husband is out shooting up cocaine and masturbating to pornography. I just got out of the ER for attempted suicide.... I am getting help for myself, (I am bipolar and this relationship is destroying every piece that is left of me) I am going into a 4 week, hospital day program to help me with my mental health but he refuses to get help for his issues. I feel lost and so alone. This poem really spoke to me. and now I am bawling once again. I feel like giving up on him but I love him so much.

    Myhusbandistacocainejunkie, Regina,Saskatchewan,Canada Submitted Sep 2012
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  • Great poem, I am an addict been sober 3 years almost 4. My dad was an alcoholic so I know both sides God Bless you and your loved ones I know the pain of living with and addict as well as being one active in addiction. There is help and hope Never give up

    Lisa Joseph Submitted Oct 2012
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  • I am going to memorize this poem and when the time comes I will stand up and shout it to the world. So much pain, suffering... My boyfriend used marijuana occasionally. I thought it was recreational but turned out it wasn't. Pregnant with my child as he's throwing anything and everything he can at me. It's baby's first Christmas.. He broke my bones, e.r., in jail.. Released and on probation. Now he gets pain pills.. Takes 6 or more at a time. And let me tell you something our love is dead. My daughter = my life. I'm not raising her like this. One more upset and it's going down.

    Elizabeth Submitted Jan 2013
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  • I am so exhausted I have finally conquered addiction, but to no avail my boyfriend is smoking crack. I know the pain it causes and am trying to stand beside him thru his struggles, but every time I think he is getting better it just gets worse.

    Tracy, Baton Rouge La. Submitted Mar 2013
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  • My Daughter has been addicted to opiates for about ten years. She has done the methadone and suboxen programs, has failed and gotten kicked out for testing positive for crack and designer drugs. She started bath salts and hallucinated put her Daughter in harms way when she was over for the weekend. She heard things that were not there, she thought someone was breaking into our home told her child she was going to have to jump out a second floor window. The police arrive because she called 911 and innocent neighbors out on the breezeway that night get guns drawn on them because the police were called for no reason. It was all in her head. Finally she went to rehab after overdosing two times mixing bath salts and crack. Two years of a living zombie hell. My Daughter is 31 yrs old my Granddaughter 8 yrs old.. The poems are just so healing and to know so many others going through the same challenges.

    Lori Sparks,Columbus, Ohio Submitted Jun 2013
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  • I have been with my fiance for 8 years, when I first started dating him he only smoked weed, we had our daughter in 2009. (BEST MOMENT OF ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP!).. He proposed to me in 2010..then around 2011 he finally admitted to me he had an addiction to pain pills AND had stolen from my family, two months later we split up for 2 weeks then get back together promises of rehab, better life etc., Get back together and it just gets WORSE... He had a job and lost it.. stole from his employer.. stole from his family.. dealed the drugs.. and then gets hooked on heroin.. :/ He went to jail for 2-3 months in 2011 for burglary and theft.. got out promises of rehab.. promises of change.. our family gave him a second chance.. he moved back in.. got a good job.. things were great for awhile till he lost his job.. started hanging around the wrong people again and then my grandmother caught him in the room with a needle.. we kicked him out.. before you knew it I was sooo blinded by ALL the lies.

    Patricia Nashville,TN Submitted Jun 2013
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  • Amazing poem! My husband is an addict, pain pills and meth. He is currently in jail on a 2 years sentence. I hope and pray he can stay clean when he comes home. He is an amazing person when he isn't on the drugs.

    Jen Submitted 8/27/2013
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  • I'm sorry to say that the person I wrote this poem for has gone farther in to addiction and for my own sanity and the sake of my child, we are now getting a divorce. I pray for him but after 10 years of trying to help and be there for him, I had to give up. Good luck to everyone else battling with this horrible disease.

    Randi Gray (Author) Submitted 9/15/2013
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  • This poem was very true to me. My husband used to be a crack addict and I was so proud when he walked away since his father never did. However he walked to a new drug pills. We spend at least two hundred dollars a day on narcotics. I have never had an addiction so it is so hard for me to understand it all. All I do know is I will always be his support system. He was checking himself in to a local rehab program and was due for a bed a week ago, but the day before his bed was ready he was arrested for a violation of probation which he was on because he got messed up on Xanax and passed out with his foot on the break in the middle of a parking lot. He violated for driving me to the e.r. My husband is a wonderful caring husband and fantastic father but when he is fiening for pills he is mean and inconsiderate. He passed the withdrawal stage in the jail and has been attending classes. I am so very proud of him I have faith that he is rehabilitated. He is even requesting Drug court!

    Mrs Beck Florida Submitted 9/24/2013
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