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Addiction Poem about Family

I wrote this because I want him to quit.

Because He Loves Cocaine

© Melissa Scott
I can see it in his eyes
when he comes creeping in.
He’s been somewhere he promised me
he’d never go again.
He thinks that I won’t know it.
He thinks that I can’t tell.
But he forgets how many times
he’s put me through this hell.
The deceit is never-ending.
The betrayal . Silly lies.
How can he even sit there
and look me in the eyes?
I’ve cried so many tears.
I feel so all alone.
He’s sitting right beside me,
but he’s not really home.
This drug has taken over him.
It’s eating up his soul.
It’s made his heart so ugly.
Black, like a piece of coal.
I try to stand beside him.
I try to give him love.
I beg him to love me more than it,
but I’m not good enough.
This burden is so heavy.
I cannot tell my friends.
I pray to God to help him.
I pray it someday ends.
Please God hear me praying.
Please God help him soon.
We have a little baby
who thinks he hung the moon.
He is just 8 months old
and I think it would be sad,
If a kid as great as him
has to grow up without a dad.
But his daddy is slowly dying.
Killing himself, without a care.
I wish that he could understand
that this just isn’t fair.
I have no happiness anymore.
It's killing me as well.
We always fight. We never laugh.
We only scream and yell.
This is our lives he’s tearing apart.
It’s not a funny game.
It’s destroyed our family, and killed our love.
Because he loves “Cocaine”.


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Published: Aug 2009

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  • I lost my best friend, my fiancé, my children's father to the disease of addiction. This poem put into words the feelings of despair I felt trying to save his life. Thank you for reminding me how much I have to be thankful for, it has been 4 years and sometimes I forget the intensity of those feelings, the same feelings I use as fuel to keep pushing forward. Best of luck to you and God Bless.

    Crystak Submitted Sep 2009
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  • Wow that is an amazing but horribly true poem. I'm sorry you went through that I almost lost my mom because she was addicted to crystal meth for 10 years. It killed me, but now she is a happy grandmother so I guess it turned out well, but I wish it would have never happened. GOOD LUCK and always remember when it feels that no-one is there God always is

    Katie, Oregon Submitted Aug 2010
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  • This story is so true. I have been through it before with my sons dad. drugs can really mess up a relationship! its so sad!

    Carmen, Lancster PA Submitted Sep 2010
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  • This actually made me cry...it is so true I am going through it now and we have a baby...I just don't know what to do to help him...the drug is so much more important then us...I have been dealing with it off and on for 9 years but it's different now cuz I have to think of my baby...I don't want her to go through the pain that he has put me through...I love him with all my heart and this is gonna be the hardest thing I have ever went through but I have to pack up and leave...enough is enough and I'm tired of being alone for days and crying all night...

    Marisa, Texas Submitted Sep 2010
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  • This is a very moving poem, I'm only 13 and it nearly made me cry! This poem has made me think twice about drugs, I don't want my friends and family to ever go through that much pain it sounds awful!

    Hertfordshire Submitted Nov 2010
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  • You have written a fantastic poem, it sounds like it came from your heart. I myself have never used cocaine, but I am a recovering alcoholic, and that was hard to beat, have you tried giving him an ultimatum, it's either the cocaine, or his family. You have to give him tough love and never feel sorry for him, because that is what they prey on, and mean what you say, or else (forgive me for saying this), but if he doesn't quit he'll either end up in jail or die. Maybe you need to talk to someone like a group for support, it will make you stronger, and maybe he will join you. Good Luck

    Nezzie, Denver Colorado Submitted Nov 2010
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  • This poem touched me. My boyfriend is a drug abuser and I just can't get him to stop. We have a 4 month old baby. We've been together 4 years and I'm only 19. I know how you feel but I never found the words to express it the way you were able to.

    Sarah, North Ridgeville Oh Submitted Nov 2010
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  • Everything said in this poem is true. I felt the exact same. But instead it was my Dad doing drugs. I loved him so much and I felt every part of it was my fault. I felt he choose drugs over me. His own Daughter. I was about 8 when he started. But before that he was my role model. He was in the church. He knew so much about the bible, and to me that was a lot, cause I was raised in the church. I prayed and prayed for him. Yea some people would say I was to young to know the lord like that, but no I wasn't. I sometimes cried myself to sleep at night thinking about him and all the HELL he put me, my mom and my brother through. I knew I couldn't tell any of my friends even not my Best Friend. But finally he got in the church when I was in 8th grade. Now I thank GOD everyday for what he did. GOD is TRULY POWERFUL.

    Lexie, US Submitted Jan 2011
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  • This is very touching. I have lived this poem, I have cried the tears and I have worried for my son in all the same ways. Thank you for so beautifully putting it into words..

    Lori, USA Submitted Jan 2011
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  • I know that I have done the same beg for him to choose me over it ..I loose every time

    Lesa, USA Submitted Jan 2011
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  • I understand this completely. My father was a drug abuser and will be for the rest of his life. I've tried to convince him but he loves the drug more than his own daughter...but it's whatever. Good luck to you, I hope things all work out. I know this really good rehab place called The Family Compass...he might actually like it there.

    Alyce, New Whiteland, Indiana Submitted Jan 2011
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  • my boyfriend of a year and a half is a drug addict. we live together so I know how it is to get lied to about where he is and where his money goes. He is now in rehab and will be there for 6 months-1 year. The day he left, he did cocaine. Nothing seems to take away all the pain and crap we have been through and it would have killed him if he wouldn't have left. I am sticking by him because I love him. we are soul mates but he knows this rehab is the only way that we will ever be able to have a life together. He has to learn how to live life without drugs. He is a great person but the drugs have taken him over. I know how great he is and I know he can do it. drugs are the devils medicine. God will help him get through it and hopefully he will never look back

    Heather, MS Submitted Jan 2011
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  • Just want to say "WOW" you managed to sum up all the feeling I have in one poem. It seems like we are the same person. The only difference, we have a 2 year old daughter. Good luck and you are in my prayers.

    Autumn, NJ Submitted Jun 2011
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  • Your poem is amazing. What I wanted to comment on most was the line "I'm not good enough". Don't ever think that because it's not true.
    I was severely addicted to cocaine...but I've been clean over 20 years, but it is an extremely hard drug to quit.
    He needs to get help...and as hard as it is...your first responsibility is to protect yourself & your baby.
    I sincerely wish you the best.

    Elaine Louch Submitted Jul 2011
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  • First of all, I would like to thank you seriously for that vivid poem for it reminds me a friend of mine. He was a drug addict too and constituted a real problem for we his friends but eventually, we overcame it by giving him advice and collaborating more with him. Cheer on so!

    Blenon, Benin (Ouidah City) Submitted Jul 2011
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  • Richard Submitted Aug 2011
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  • It doesn't matter what the addiction is to the feeling of the spouse is the same. In my case it was crystal meth. I wish I could say how it feels when he finally, after all those tears and prayers, quit for good. But I lost my husband to the addiction and the other
    diseases it brought with it.
    It is so hard to live the life she is describing but I hope that she and all of those others who are in this situation will hold on to the hope of recovery for their loved one. It is harder than anything to stay with them, to love them and to hope for them.
    But although my husband never got clean his best friend/dealer did and now by the grace of God, prison time, hard work and a loving family is clean. He keeps struggling but keeps his faith and this has made me realize that it is possible to get there.
    Never give up even if you feel that the only way out of the pain is your own death. Keep your baby close to you and keep praying.

    Thalia, Washington State Submitted Oct 2011
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  • I just cried reading this because its me. I know its a wife talking to her husband/boyfriend but if you look at it like it's his daughter than that's me. My father is addicted to Cocaine. He didn't start until he moved next door to his friend that is one of the biggest coke heads in my town. Anyways my father was drunk and I was over there for the weekend and he had his step brother over there and he tried to get me and my friend to do the drug and I snatched it from him and threw it down the stairs. He was so drunk he told his brother to go get it from down stairs and I walked into the kitchen and he came in and grabbed me and I flung him across the room and he fell. I ran outside with my friend and we called my mom it was 2:00 am and she didn't answer so we decided to go get all my stuff and walk the 3 blocks home. When we got home I was in tears I called the cops and they are looking for him now. This isn't the first time. He just found out that he has a 4 year old son. My luck

    Marion, IN Submitted Oct 2011
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  • My dad is addicted to speed, being in and out of prison. He has a whole new family, a new wife, two new daughters, and two new sons. They aren't even his blood kids. It just his wife's children, which, by the way, he claims more than he claims his own blood kids. Sometimes I wonder if he regrets his old wife, his old two daughters and his old four sons. When my baby brother died, he was clean and started showing up in our lives again, but it didn't last for more than a week. I remember a time when I was three and I was waiting for him at the dinner table to get home from work, as soon as I heard the door opening I would run to him and yell, "daddy" I think that is the only good memory of him that I have, that's the only memory I like to reminisce on. Any other memory I have of him I made myself forget.

    Kiarae, CA Submitted Jan 2012
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  • I am an addict of 15 years I'm 35 years old, and am in recovery now for two months. As an addict we do not see what's going on around us. We think of one thing and that is what can help me not feel like this today. I'm speaking for myself only because we all have a story to tell. It's much deeper then just being an addict it's what got us to that point. For anyone with a friend or loved one who has an addiction the first thing I would suggest is get them in detox so they can start with a clean fresh mind. Then It goes from there you build up a support system or get into rehab, I went 3 times and no one gave up on me, abandonment is my reasoning for addiction along with much more. I really do feel sorry for all of you who are dealing with addicts. My heart goes out to all of you truely. Please do not ever give up there is hope and people who can help.

    Katherine, Canada Submitted Feb 2012
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  • That is beautiful. My heart goes out to you and I hope that things get better. But truly, you poem was beautiful and it really touched me.

    Caitlin, England Submitted 6/17/2012
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  • I have pretty much lost my dad. He has been fighting this addiction for as long as I can think of. It sucks cuz everyone else had given up on him besides me. I'm still there but as of right now he needs to change he has been going to this clinic but see he's been there many times while he was going there I told him I would take care of his house but damn I wasn't thinking about my daughter I don't want her to see her GRAMPY her ONLY grampy go down this road. I love him but just have a feeling he will never change. This has put him through family problems. He thinks I'm against him but if only he knew he has been STRUGGLING with bills and finance I don't know what else to do any more I pray and pray but nothing has changed :.( it sucks. One thing is for sure I've never given up on him and God the lord up above. Whoever is going through the same problem and that some one has changed please tell me your side of story thanks really appreciate it.

    Vanessa Submitted 8/12/2012
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  • This poem is absolutely beautiful. I wrote a poem similar to this about ten years ago when my daughter was born and her father was addicted to meth. Her father is now in prison, and I have become an opiate addict. Addiction ruins lives, and I certainly feel your pain. Beautiful words, though.

    Miranda, Wichita Falls, Tx Submitted 10/6/2012
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  • My mom was an alcoholic when I was in 6th grade and I had to live with my aunt and grandmother for 2 years. I know that isn't as bad as cocaine but its still painful. I felt like no one loved me. But now she is doing better! Good luck I will pray for you!

    Rebecca Harrell Submitted 10/16/2012
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  • Thank you for the poem. It makes me realize even more that I am not alone. My husband is an alcoholic, and it is tearing apart our marriage and our family. We are constantly fighting now, and at the root of every fight is his addiction to alcohol. Knowing that you and your children do not come first to someone that comes first in your life has been such a struggle for me and the kids. My husband and I are getting ready to celebrate our 11th anniversary on New Year's Eve. For the first time in our marriage, I am thankful he is working that day. I pray everyday that he sees the light and he comes back to us.

    Elizabeth Blasiman Submitted 12/27/2012
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