Addiction Poem about Family

Dedicated to my husband who is battling addiction.

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My husband has been addicted to something since one known him. For the last 4 years (that I know of) it has been pills. We have one daughter and decent jobs. He spends about $700 a month, at …

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© Julie

Published: Aug 2009

Husband and The Battle Of Addiction

The words that have yet been spoken
the things I need to say.
To voice what's within my heart
I just can't find a way.

I've fought with my emotions
I've held them deep inside.
I didn't want to face what for so long
you've tried to hide.

I've been lost within the dark
for so long I've seen no light.
Holding on to the memory
of a time when things were right.

I've looked upon your face
and seen the sadness in your eyes.
The battle of addiction
you no longer can disguise.

I've prayed to find the answers
of what I myself must do.
And I've prayed for the strength to fight
through the hell that I go through.

I've held on for so long
but I can no longer watch you die.
I cannot fight this for you
but lords knows how I've tried.

It's just so hard to watch the ones you love
slowly slip away.
That's why I just blocked it out
and held on to yesterday.

I don't have all the answers
or the power to save your soul.
Your broken, lost and lonely
and I cannot make you whole.

This fight is yours and yours alone
no matter what I do.
For I cannot save you
the only one who can
is you.

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  • Stories 35
  • Emailed 226
  • Votes 537
  • Rating: 4.58

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  • by Scared To Death
  • 9/5/2014

My husband has been addicted to something since one known him. For the last 4 years (that I know of) it has been pills. We have one daughter and decent jobs. He spends about $700 a month, at least (that I know of). I pay our bills and have tried sooo hard to keep us above water for sooo long. We are at Rock bottom. Could lose everything. Not to mention the lying, the secrets and the mood swings :*( he has "tried" to quit many times. Which is usually on a special occasion such as our anniversary or my birthday or the anniversary of my dad's death (the 1st year, because that wasn't already hard enough). And those times are emotionally trying as well. He always turns everything around and makes me the bad guy. Them I'm left feeling sad and thinking while he goes off pissed off and angry. Never apologizing or being sorry. It happened again last night. I found he spent the last money we had and got mad. Now today I'm crying and sad and he's angry and mad and won't speak to me :( that's ass backwards but I guess not really in this situation. It's spot on. I'm exhausted!!! I feel like I'm going to collapse at any time. I don't want to give up on him. Plus I have no idea how I'll manage to keep everything I've fought so hard to get all by myself!!! If it wasn't for the fact that I never want to leave my little girl I probably would have just left this life by now. I know that sounds stupid but I'm just completely exhausted :(

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  • by Bonny Houchin, Illinois
  • 8/21/2014

Thank you for sharing your stories and the wonderful poem. Not only has my husband been addicted to pills for over 13 yrs., my 20 years old son is a recovering addict now 8 months sober.
Their addictions have slowly drained me inside. I wake up daily worrying about my other 2 children, how to pay bills, what kind of mood my husband will be in, the list goes on. I love him but hate him and suffer as much if not more than he. It's a horrible, dark, and lonely life for everyone involved. God Bless anyone living this way.

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  • by Monica
  • 8/12/2014

Thank you for this. My husband has been addicted to pills for 9 years and while I love him with all my heart I've had to leave with our 3 beautiful children. Everyday is a struggle to just let him go and let him do this on his own, It's taken up my happiness and well my entire life. I started crying after the first sentence in your poem, because it's like its me writing every word. I can't thank you enough, I'm sorry you and every other person who's commented has to go through the madness and heartache of watching your loved one spiral down and be taken over by an addiction. Your all in my prayers.

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  • by Margaret, Edinburgh
  • 3/2/2014

Julie, this poem has not just spoken to me but shouted loudly at me. I have had to break away from my husband because of his alcohol and gambling addictions. I love him dearly but in my late 50's cannot bear the pain, disappointment and heartache any more. Thank you for this poem. It has touched me. I am sorry you had to deal with this too. Much love, Margaret xxx

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  • by Ellen, Strathclyde
  • 2/17/2014

This touched the spot. It is sadly very true and affects most families today. I have watched my true love slowly fade into a stranger due to his addiction. Now I cannot see him, I can't take the rush of emotions that I get. He is not the person I fell in love with. I can only hope and pray that one day he will be better and no suffering. I lost my soul mate to Heroin. I wasn't able to conquer that demon and keep what was mine. I was defeated by a substance that took control of his life in a sinister way, the grip was stronger than him. Loved and lost. X

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  • by Lorrie/ Heartbroken
  • 10/5/2013

I lay here tonight and tried to get rid of some of the angrier I have had for my husband who is trying to get clean again from pill addiction. He has tried so many times before and always seems to go back! I found out about him using 08, it has been a long hard road with him for me and all his family! I came across this poem and bust into tears for I am this girl and I have finally realized these past few weeks. That I have been hiding in my sorrows of not being able to help him, and blocking everyone and everything out trying to help my husband. But I have fought this fight long enough for him! It's time to heal my heart and worry about me and I only pray that he can do the same! Remember my family in prayer as I will you all as well! Thank you so much for sharing this poem and to everyone else for sharing your story as well!

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  • by Lonely,Corpuschristi, TX
  • Apr 2013

I relate to this poem ''the battle'' I've been married for 10 years and have 2 wonderful kids. I would lie and cover for him. Didn't want to believe that the drug had won so I left him couldn't do this anymore. I was holding on to the pass and wanted to bring him back but it was not possible so I let him go and make his choices, thought he would stop but I was wrong. Now he's been in prison 3 years and tells me he's changed but I don't believe him or feel it in my heart he can be trusted anymore so I must go on. I love him with all my heart but he's not the man I once fell in love with. Too late now that he tells me he's found the love of my life to give him that chance sorry but I cant it's all I could say as much as it hurts

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  • by Tina, Quezon City, Philippines
  • Mar 2012

Thank you for your poem. It captures how I have been feeling all this time, so much that I just found tears running down my cheeks. So thank you for telling me that I am not alone in feeling this way all these years.

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  • by Kellie Cowart Cambridge Mass
  • Feb 2012

Oh my goodness it like this was written for my daughter she will die soon if she doesn't help herself. There is nothing else for me to do but prepare this family and her girls for her death she has been on the run because she got wind of a intervention. I am so sick in my heart heart and soul because I feel like I have failed as her mom. What else I am to do I don't know anymore I'm hurting really bad her daughter is hurting .how do you tell a nine year old whom her mom is her hero she may die, I can't do it.

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  • by Eufaula, Ok
  • Dec 2011

I am 34 and have done drugs since I was 15 and then seen the light and frighten my way back for my wife and 7 kids. I still have my job thank god for that it is only by his power that I will make it because my way was not doing it. So I say to all if you can do any thing to help your loved one do it you will save them they will get mad but give it time they will not stay that way forever. My dad didn't. I have been clean now for 40 days and hope for many more days.

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  • by Bobbie, Las Vegas NV
  • Jun 2011

My 18 year old son overdosed on heroin, with God by him he made it through. I saw him laying in the ambulance as they jump started his heart 2 times. My son my baby boy...God Please bring him back to me. He is here today but fighting the demons everyday, this is his fight alone but he will never Be alone I will always be there to Pray for him
I love you Brandon , my Son, my baby. Love MOM

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  • by Michelle, Washingon
  • Jun 2011

A beautifully written poem, exactly what it is like to have someone close to you that has an addiction problem. My sister has been a meth addict for 17 years, and has a 9 year old son. He lives with me and my parents. I love him more than anything and I know the pain he is going to have his whole life, one that we will share. His will be far greater because it is his mother.

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  • by Jennifer, Illinois
  • May 2011

This poem really touched me and showed me that I wasn't alone. It described all the feelings that I have felt and still feel. My husband is a heroin addict. He was sober for a long time. I don't really know what happened but I saw him slowly slipping away and our life getting worse and worse. Now he facing 4 to 16 years in prison, we are still married and I am pregnant with our second child. I love him tremendously and I hope this is what he needed to get his life back together because I'm not ready to lose him to this awful drug. I feel for everyone who has loved ones who suffer from this disease.

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  • by Megan, Canada
  • Mar 2011

This poem has really brought me to tears cuz my brother is addicted to drugs I'm pretty sure he has done every drug possible and denies everything I'm 15 and have been watching him hit rock bottom for bout 5 years now and he constantly needs money from me and he guilt trips so he can buy his drugs. He's hurting my parents so much he needs help but won't get any. Thanks for this poem

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  • by Gmi, Ma
  • Feb 2011

I AM that girl right now, so helpless and full of fear....thank you for sharing :)

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I love this poem I have a boyfriend addicted to pills xanax I pray everyday for him to get well he knows he has a problem and is scared because he keeps going back to them. I pray for him to get through this it's so hard for me to stay to watch him struggle each day there is nothing I can do or say so I will continue to pray.

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  • by Holly A. Sutton, Pine Bluff, AR
  • Jan 2011

I cried reading this heartfelt poem. I myself was an alcoholic/ Meth addict for 14 years. Through the grace of God and many prayers I am still clean and sober after 4 years. I know the hurt you are feeling. I will be praying for your loved one. Stay strong but like your poem said this is a battle that he and only he can fight. Praying for his recovery and you to have a beautifully restored relationship. God Bless

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  • by Lesa, USA
  • Jan 2011

Tried to save him of his drug abuse and I know now he can only do it. Nothing I say or do can make him get to recovery

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  • by Marie, Ohio
  • Dec 2010

Addiction no matter what it's to effects the addict and their loved ones. This poem really touches on both, you can read the pain that this person has gone through. God bless this family and every reader that may be going to that cold dark place we all would prefer not to know ADDICTION.

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  • by Cn, Wisconsin
  • Dec 2010

This poem really touched my heart, since I was about 4 my dad has been an alcoholic and this is exactly how I feel, stay strong.

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  • by Baylyn, WI
  • Nov 2010

I love this poem. Good job. My Dad does drugs but doesn't know I know. I wish he would stop but I cannot tell him I know. :)

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  • by Kelly, NJ
  • Nov 2010

That really said it all. I was once that same girl :( Thank u.

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  • by Beth, New Zealand
  • Nov 2010

This poem touched me so much that there was a flood of tears. My, now ex husband is an addict! It cost me my marriage, health + my self esteem. I fought for my marriage + for him to get better for 6 years. I couldn't cope with the 'mistress meth' + finally gave up + ended it. He still pops in every now + then but the last time was the worst. He looked 'dead' + was so wasted. I don't see him surviving for much longer. I just wish he could see what's happening. His words to me , re: his addiction ,are 'I'm not an addict. I can give it up anytime I want'. Is that an addict talking or what ?! I have mended my life but he continues to destroy his. Thanks for the 'REAL LIFE' poem Julie + I wish you all good things for the future

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  • by Sharon
  • Nov 2010

This poem really touched me for 2 reasons. My husband is an alcoholic and has been in recovery for 2 years and I pray it's over for good. Also my son is in prison for drug abuse.. it affects the whole family and a day never passes for me of feeling quite alone and racked with worry.

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  • by Fatima Abduraouf
  • Nov 2010

This poem describes exactly what I think all parents go through when their kids are substance abusers. I attend a rehabilitation programme in support of my sister's 2 sons who were heavy pot smokers. I hear these types of cries every week. Some of the youngsters coming into the programme are absolutely clean and then there are those entering the programme who have had a relapse. It is heart rendering to look at these young people wanting to change but odds are against them. Parents are applying tough love all the time. Thank you for the poems sent via Poem of the Day. I read them at the programme as a form of encouragement. Many thanks

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  • by Christie, California
  • Nov 2010

Thank you so much for this wonderful poem! I cried when I read it because it's kind of what I've been holding in for so long. I'm 16 years old and my older brother is a drug addict and an alcoholic. He's only 21. It hurts me so much and I really appreciate your poem because it makes me feel like I'm not all alone. Thank you!

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  • by Steven, Terre Haute IN
  • Nov 2010

I read your poem and it brought back to me all the wasted years I spent with a bottle of pain pills in my hand ... ready to consume both just for the satisfaction of giving my life and soul to the devil ... and let him unfold my life before me ... in letting me understand that I am stronger then any addiction ... and with a lot of pray and believing in myself ... I overcame said addictions ... and I spend my time now going to college studying Psychology ... to better understand myself ... and my fellow human beings ...

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  • by Dianna, Nova Scotia, Canada
  • Oct 2010

Thank you for sharing this, it says everything I feel and I realize I am not alone in this. My boyfriend of 4 years has an addiction and he has taken everything from him as well as me, I'm tired and can no longer be by his side.

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  • by Beth, Illinois
  • Oct 2010

I am the mother of a 19 year old son, who has been a heroin addict since he was 15. We have been through rehab, counseling, therapy, doctors, meds...and he is still using. I thought has been clean since his last release from rehab 6 months ago. Wrong...again. He is also type 1 diabetic and bi-polar. He cannot seems to find the help he need. Because of the depression, he has all but given up hope. I am trying to be supportive without enabling. It is a fine line to walk, especially when your head knows what you need to do, but your heart has a hard time not letting you take care of them. I am so scared he will feel abandoned and do the thing I most fear, the taking his own life because he does not value it anymore. Your poem makes me remember that I am not alone in feeling this way. Thank you.

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  • by Sandra
  • Aug 2010

I am a past drug user that is now trying to help my Grandson fight an addiction. I can't fight it for him but I will be here for him when know one else will. This poem helps me to relate that I can't do this for him only he can do it.

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  • by Ieshia, Iowa
  • Aug 2010

I really like this poem.
This poem has touched my heart because my boyfriend decides to do coke when he is upset or something bothering him that he can't fight it to make it change.
He doesn't do it everyday and he doesn't do it all the time.
He's a good man at heart, he works everyday morning to night, he such good man but he drinks and smokes and sniffs his lines and for some reason his answer is not good enough to my question why? He knows I don't like it so that when he does it he decides not to come home. These be the days his number doesn't ring through my phone.
He tell me this is just what Mexican do and hunny your black you'll never understand what we go through!
I ask is this a race thing involved and he says no babe not at all. He says babe I know you don't like it and I'm going to work to change that but than as soon as he gets mad he goes back to that. I love him so much and I just want it all to change! He is 23 years old and I hope and pray today will not be the day!

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  • by Michelle, Kentucky
  • Jun 2010

I really liked your poem. I know exactly what you're going through. Check out my poem, "Puppet on A String". You'll know all too well that I've been there, too. Best of luck.

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  • by Caroline, Shetland Scotland
  • Jun 2010

This is what I've been thinking but not been able to say. Thank you.

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  • by Kerrie, Phoenix
  • May 2010

I have been in recovery for 3 years now. And sometimes when trying to get our life back on track, we tend to forget all the pain and suffering we have caused our loved ones. Thanks for the reminder that recovery is not a lone process, but the whole family is included. My best wishes

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  • by Jessica, Oklahoma
  • May 2010

This poem expresses exactly what I feel.... the sorrow is too great :( thank you for sharing.

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