Published: Jul 2009
A Reason To Stop
You know there's nothing I can do.
Everytime I inject I think of you,
How you're thinking this can't be true.
I promised one day I'll get help,
And I still mean it,
I just need some time.
I need to think things through.
I just want to be with you.
But you say I'm hurting you too much.
You push me away.
You push me out.
I need you to be there,
Just to tell me how much you care.
I push the needle into my vein,
You shake your head and say I'm not going to change.
I sit there and cry,
Not enjoying my high.
I don't want to be like this,
It's you I miss.
I cover my arm and hope you won't see,
But the injection marks have become a permanent part of me.
When you see them you start to cry,
You tell me that I'm going to die.
I don't want to die, I don't want to leave you.
You can think I'm lying, but Steph, it's true.
I would give up my needle just to see you smile,
But you never do so I'll give you a while.
I fall to the floor,
Hoping to stop.
I end up hitting my face on a rock.
The cut goes so deep,
But I don't even care.
I watch the blood dry into my hair.
I'm scared of myself,
There's a monster within.
Only heroin can cure him,
He always wins.
I want him to go away,
To leave me alone,
But you say he'll go away only if I stop getting stoned.
I'm so sorry,
You have to know it's true.
I just hate, hate hurting you.
Everytime you cry it makes me inject more,
I try to dull the pain,
I'm going insane.
So I promise now,
I promise to stop.
I want you to smile,
I want you to laugh.
I love you so much, and you have to know it's true.
I love you enough to stop hurting you.