Addiction Poem about Family

My mother has been addicted to meth for as long as I can remember. It has affected my life in so many bad ways. I wrote this and put it into her mailbox as a way to tell her that I will have nothing to do with her anymore.

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Thank you for sharing your story in this poem. I recently took legal custody of my two grandchildren from their meth addicted parents. This poem validates that what I am doing is right, and …

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© Brittany

Published: Nov 2008

My Mother Vs. Meth

Most days I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs,
I want my mother back who is this monster you have become?

I really haven't known who you are for quite a while,
But I try to act tough so I force this fake smile.

You love someone else way more than me,
Her name is Crystal Meth and I don't think she'll ever set you free.

She's had you in her hands for about 10 years,
But all of those years are nothing compared to my fear.

Fear of you lying
Fear of you dying
Fear of having so much faith in you and just being left crying.

You wrote me letters from prison and promised the sky,
More than 3 years later and nothing but lies.

Nothing but heartache, pain, and misery...
I GET IT NOW, you choose her over me.

You've told me to my face that it was drugs over me,
Even that wasn't enough to make me see.

Today you will tell me that you are clean
You give me so much hope, then tomorrow it's the same ole' dope phen.

I'm telling you now that I am through with you
This comes from my heart and every word of it's true.

I can't promise that I will be around to see
But when you get tired of that meth you will see
All along you had something way better
And it was your family

I do thank you so much for one thing
Thank you for showing me how important a good mother should be.
And to never show my children the pain that you showed me.

So, today I officially set myself free.
Because I know there's a stronger woman in me.

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  • by Lauren, Florida
  • 11/21/2014

Thank you for sharing your story in this poem. I recently took legal custody of my two grandchildren from their meth addicted parents. This poem validates that what I am doing is right, and that refusing to let the parents see or speak with the children until they present a clean drug screen is ultimately protecting the children.

My heart and soul grieves for you, my kids and grandkids, and everyone in the world affected by this horrific addiction.

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  • by Sally
  • 10/12/2014

Thanks for sharing. Your mother doesn't deserve you. I will never understand why someone will choose drugs over their children...never. So sorry that she did that to you. I wish I was your mother. I'd hug you every day and tell you that I love you more than life itself.

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  • by Shedlon Maybem
  • 9/4/2014

I've never told the story of my life but yet it's comforting to see more people have been through similar situations. My mom has been addicted to meth for about 12 years or so. I was clueless for awhile but found out one day when she decided to write on the shower in blood when I was about 5. Then years had passed and she would be suicidal. Or have different episodes of her being a clean freak and hitting us when the house wasn't clean enough. It's said to be hereditary, the addiction. She gets it from her mom and all of her sisters are addicted as well. She''ll go through periods of time where she convinces us that she is done, that she'll never do it again. She swears that my sister and I are more important than drugs. But then CPS shows up and she's worried about them testing her? Yep, she's at it again. Just today I found for the first time her stash. I honestly don't know what to do. I even found a needle. Part of me wants to die right now, the other half is thinking maybe I should make her feel the way she's made me feel all my life and use it too. I love her so much but she just keeps making new bad friends that she says aren't bad. And then she gets the drugs. My life feels like it's in ruins. I don't want to come home again to an ambulance taking my mom to the hospital. Oh god, I'm worried.

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  • by Amy Romero
  • 7/30/2014

My mother was a beautiful woman nice, pretty face. I can't even remember when she was using, all I remember is she lost her job. I found out when I got out from high school I was 18 years, that she lost it because of a failed drugs test. I moved out of my mom's house, the house was a mess. Dog sh*t everywhere really bad odor. She would sleep all day my dad would work and come to a mess. It was really sad. I moved back 5 years later, I help clean up me and my daughter. So time healed, but things got weird again she would treat me like trash, would cook for my dad she just started caring more and more about herself, till one day she had my whole family thinking she was sick from a plant. She had sores all over her skin and face she looked scary like that's not my mother anymore. So my grandma and my cousin came over and we all pray for her thinking that the plant was the reason her skin look like that. The next day I need to take my daughter to head start preschool I needed to take her to school, I was going to use my mom's car. She left with my dad to the doctors for her skin, as I was looking through her stuff I found a glass pipe with straws, and white stuffs. I knew what it was so I told my brother and we were tripping out because she had my grandma and everyone fool. I think that pray was for me to find out about her using. My parents came home I showed my dad he was speechless, my mom act like she didn't care and acted like it was nothing. Till this day she hasn't stopped.

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  • by Glen, Perth
  • 7/7/2014

My wife and mother of my three beautiful kids is addicted to meth, has been for eight years. She leaves to the shops and we don't see her for weeks. It is tearing my family apart what can I do to make her realize what she is doing to her kids and what she is sacrificing. Please help.

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  • by Lorna, Washington
  • 5/10/2014

I'm touched by this poem...my mom has been on drugs for 2 years she's tearing me and my siblings apart. She's had 3 marriages 2 of her ex husbands one being my dad have died so there is hurt and pain, but there's always a way to get help, if you want it. I thought 6 kids would motivate change but she lost custody of my two sisters ages 8 and 10. I'm happy because today I help people get into recovery from drugs. I pray one day she will surrender and get help and mean it. I saw her today on her way to get drugs walking 4 miles to get them and I decided to let her be because she was in a rush and had no time to hug me as she turned to walk away, I said mom, "tell your granddaughter you love her please". Sad I had to tell her I know, and she said "oh I'm sorry" and hugged her and left. I wanted to hug her because I never know when she will die...it's very painful even though I'm grown but she made me realize how important it is to be there for your child. I know the mom I don't want to be and that's the mom of me.

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  • by Starr, Washington
  • 5/8/2014

Hey. This poem is literally amazing. You did an awesome job! My mother is addicted to meth and has been for about 15 years. She has chosen drugs over all 7 of her kids and her house got busted on 12/12/12. My stepfather who was also using was sent to prison for about 14 and 1/2 years. It's a very devastating thing to go through. She went to rehab just a bit ago and passed. but she came back and immediately started using again.

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  • by Taylor, Florida
  • 2/20/2014

This story hits close to home, my mom was addicted to she choose drugs over her kids and went to prison for it. The whole time she was in prison she told me everything was going to change, she was going to change, no more drugs she said... She finally got out of prison moved three states away with out even trying to see her kids. Then three months later she died because she OD

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  • by Marty Lundegreen
  • Nov 2013

This is my story. I never went to prison but I lived in my own prison & held my kids hostage as well. My son was 7 and my daughter was 9. Their dad took them from me. At the time I thought I was a great mom and they didn't know I did drugs (their dad used too) & one day I was mom and the next their dad told them I gave them up for drugs. 7 years of pure hell. I finally found strength to fight for my kids and to get clean. I succeeded. 2 years later my daughter is now 18. I have had a one time relapse and she feels betrayed, lied too and angry. I'm trying to stay clean and keep fighting to prove to her that I'm not going to go backwards. But she isn't ready to let me back into her life. Its discouraging. It sounds selfish and I hate myself. But I need her love and support to stay clean. Although I know I don't deserve it. Addiction is hard to fight. When you betray your children for your addiction it's hard to find a reason to live. I'm ashamed. Sorry. And devastated that I hurt my babies. I'm lost.

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  • by Fort Worth Tx
  • Aug 2013

I've gone through all of this this except I have never been to jail. About four months ago I gave up my rights to my two beautiful boys, who I miss very much. Everyday is a constant struggle in my head and heart. I'm still using and I'm still very unhappy. Everyday I hate myself as I battle my demons. This was the second time I fought my addiction and lost my kids. The last time I got them back was when I was sober 4 1/2 years ago. At that time my life fell apart and I had to fight everyday to live. My children are my world and I said I wouldn't live if I lost them. The first time I tried treatment I was sober thirty days. I became discouraged when I realized that no one acknowledged or cared. I gave up. I came from a dysfunctional home that also had drugs. I cry all the time and feel like my kids hate me. I constantly beat myself up because I never wanted this for them. My goal, since I was 12, was to be everything my mom wasn't and it eats me up that I failed. I don't want to use but I can't deal with life. I won't stand here and say I gave my kids up for meth because it was a lot of reasons. I wanted the kids out of my family and away from addiction. I also felt like I was lower then dirt and didn't deserve them. This was also a way to get them away from their horrible father, who I couldn't get away from myself. I hoped to get them a better life. I miss them every day, minute and second. Please moms don't ever think for one moment it's better to use, because I'm dead every day for my choice.

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  • by Terri
  • May 2013

I'm sorry for your pain. I am printing your poem and sending to my friends daughter who is jail for the 10th or more time. She has a three year son who she lost custody off and wants him terribly. She loves him but can't seem to kick this addiction. I am sending this to her hoping it will help her see what her son will endure through the eyes of you. You are a strong woman and I'm sure your mother loves you! Thank you for sharing your story.

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  • by Helpless, Philippines
  • Jan 2013

I'm going through the same thing. I have no idea what to do. We can't afford rehab, and that culture is very different here when it comes to that. I am so tempted to just get up and go, leave and free myself like you did, but I'd be leaving her with my grandparents. they've dealt with my mother's issues all her life, and it's easier for me to walk away. I just don't want them to feel like I left them with this burden. There's no getting through to my mom, and I'm only just realizing how deep I'm in this.

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  • by Cheri
  • Dec 2012

I almost am that mother in the poem.
One difference- I never put it before my daughter, I kept it from her for over 10 years, never did it when I knew I would be seeing her, and when I was finally done with it, I admitted to her I had stopped. I knew in my heart and soul that I was done, so I had had a heart test and physical, I have been clean for over 2 years-almost 3 and find it amusing that when I had tried to explain to her that her dad was also involved she cut me off from her life completely. Irony of it all is now I am the mother she wanted and she is still holding strong to the false belief that her dad was the total solid citizen. Murphy's law is so appropriate.

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  • by Sweetie
  • Dec 2012

I'm going through this with my daddy. But I can't give up on him... He's now locked up but he's really done for good. And I'm so proud of how he's pulling thru. He's NEVER did drugs and in only two years it drug him down that quick.. Lord please help us through. You always do.!!

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  • by Deedee, Tx
  • Sep 2012

My parents never used any type of drugs or alcohol. I ended up marrying a drug addict! It has made my life miserable and it has only gotten worse. He has lied to me and even stolen from me. I have decided after reading all of these wonderful messages, that I am going to ask him for a divorce. I am a Devout Catholic and I know it is wrong to divorce but things are not going to get any better. He is pulling my strength down and I need to be here for my children. I have prayed, I have asked him to seek help. It seems like he is trying to get help now but he just lost his job. I can't deal with it anymore. I have to get my children away from him.

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  • by Jessica
  • Aug 2012

My name is Jessica Schiafone I'm 29 years old, My daughters #13 Birthday is TODAY...Her name is Brittney and she was 10 yrs. old when she was taken from my custody stemming from my addiction to Meth. I've spent 6 months in county lockup, completed a 12 month FAITH BASED rehabilitation program. I've been home and haven't had to pee in a cup for anyone since June 10th when I graduated THE FOUNDRY (This place is real.) I don't believe I've been clean since that day. I know that Brittney is disappointed in my because I just went in front of a judge and was awarded visitation with her under 1 condition that was to pass a drug screen, he continued on to praise me only to find out that I felled the drug test for meth, THC, and ecstasy. I have hurt my daughter in a way that can never be repaired. I only pray now that I can FORGIVE MYSELF. I knew a life without drugs and it was good, I FEEL that these are her words to me.....

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  • by Shyanne
  • Apr 2012

My mom and my dad both went down that road, then I did...... It still haunts me everyday....

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  • by Brooke
  • Mar 2012

So this hit home for me, brought tears to my eyes, it reminds me of my own mother. Whoever wrote this you did a great job.

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  • by Seagoville, TX
  • Mar 2012

Hello I would like to say to each and every one of you who have posted on the site about this poem. Which by the way is outstanding. I am a 48 year old recovered Meth user. For many years I used meth. and done what ever I had to just to get my next hit. Meth is a very strong drug and it is not very easy to just lay it down. It is harder to stop then any other Addiction in the world even smoking or drinking. By the Grace of God I am still here and only because I had a niece who would not give up on me and prayed for God to bring me back home. Well God answered that prayer in Jan, 2009. I was saved and stopped using meth. What will help each and every one of you is to find you a Celebrate Recovery close by your home look it up on the internet to see if one is close. It is a 12 step study for Hurts, Habits and hangups and I believe with all my heart it will help you all. Just give it a try. God bless you all and just don't turn your back on her all the way. She needs you now more then ever just keep praying.

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  • by Eve London
  • Mar 2012

I have never had an addiction to drugs. I am sure it is a terrible thing and difficult to wrestle with. I do have so much sympathy for the children of drug addicts their lives are turned upside down and inside out it is very sad I wish these children good luck and hope they succeed in life. I can only imagine a little of what this young person is going through you are an individual and show great promise. Good Luck.

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  • by Tia
  • Feb 2012

My moms been an addict my whole life!! I'm 19 I have 4 younger siblings 17, 14, 11, and 9. We have all suffered from her addictions... She's not only an IV meth user but shoots up morphine and she's an alcoholic!! I have a 2 year old son that means the world to me and I am currently 9 months pregnant with my baby girl!! And my 17 year old brother has a daughter on the way.. My mom hasn't changed for any of us so I don't think it will ever happen!! I love my mom but she needs help!! And I've tried.. I can't do it no more!!

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  • by Jdub
  • Nov 2011

This poem brought tears to my eyes. This was my life. My mother has been addicted to meth since I was a child. I am now 28 years old. The only time I have ever seen her clean was the 10 years she was in prison. When she got out she went right back. I have a brother who is thirteen years younger than me. She had him while in prison and just like me another family member has always raised him. She says she is clean now but I know she is not. Thank God she doesn't come around often for my brother's sake because all she does is poison him with lies and gets money out of him. What mother takes money from a 15 year old little boy.. I am now a mother of a beautiful 5 year old little girl. And just like this poem the only thing I can thank my "mother" for is how NOT to treat your child. My daughter is my world, everything I do is for her and I make sure she never has to feel an ounce of the pain I did from my mother. Know you are not alone.

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  • by Ohio
  • Nov 2011

I am so sorry for you. I am 43 now and was addicted to meth myself. I put my family thru a lot and regret every minute. My boys seen the things my husband and I did. and in return he became an addicted to pills. He is 24 and on the path to recovery with a lot of hard work. I will stand by him to get him thru so we can stay clean together. It sickens me to see what I did to my family. I have been clean 12 years and am proud of that.

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  • by Tiffany, WA
  • Oct 2011

I am a single mother of a two and a half year old and growing up seeing my mom throw her life away for meth I swore it would be different for my kid. I thought I would break the family cycle of addiction in my family. I had my son 5 weeks before turning 21 as my mom did. I was content with a party free life until I went out and remembered how much fun I had. One night I finally gave in to my "friends" and snorted oxy next thing I know I'm addicted within a year tent begging for money. I went to treatment after I had a failed suicide attempt, It saved my life I had a little clean time relapsed and went on a run. I began using meth when dope sick because it was all around my moms house and I need some relief from the pain. I figured I could use crystal to get off H with out getting addicted to it. I have never been soo wrong in my life.

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I live the same story. It is Mother's Day 2011 and some days before this I told my mom I hope she overdoses on meth and dies. Her reply was that she doesn't do it anymore, that she's over it. And of course I don't believe her for one second. If you need someone to talk to about this, please Facebook me. I would love company in this situation.

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  • by Faith Williams
  • May 2011

This is a poem that is one of the best I have ever read! my mommy is an addict as well so I know how you feel. I pray for you!

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  • by Stephanie, Victora
  • Feb 2011

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, my mum isn't on meth, but she takes any pill she can get her hands on. My mum has a 8 yr old son that now live with me and he calls me mum now and I'm 17. I had to move out of home at 15, it really upsets me to hear mothers like this, my mum still thinks she is fine, but she is way far from it, I don't know how to make her see anymore, I really like this poem, I hope your mum realizes what a great daughter she has, all the best xxx

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  • by Winnipeg
  • Feb 2011

I just wanted to say that your poem touched me. I have a family member who has been addicted to meth as well as other drugs for many years and it has torn our family apart. I was looking on the internet just to try to make me feel a bit better as yesterday my brother trashed the house assaulted us. I had him arrested. The way you feel and the poem is how me and my family feel. Not many people understand and I just hope that one day our addicted family members realize what they are doing to their selves and families.

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  • by Christy, Utah
  • Feb 2011

I love this poem. I am a recovering meth addict. In April I will have 5 years clean and sober. I have 3 little boys and I dragged them through hell with my addiction. In the past 5 years, I have really tried to be the best mom I can be. I have tried to teach them a better way of life. Their dad hung himself in 2004 due to his addiction. I want my boys to know that there are better ways to cope with life besides doing drugs to cover up emotions. Sorry to all of you who are still suffering from a loved ones or your own addiction. You are all in my prayers.

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  • by Dickson, Italy
  • Oct 2010

My mom and dad both died of addiction to a local brew known as changaa I know the pain, bitterness, and difficulties that the children of such parents undergo, as they don't have answers to the problems. But I believe so much that loving them, not abandoning them, can bring change to both. Love brings out the goodness in us, they knew that I loved them, and they tried to fight the addiction but it was all in vain. Some win and some lose. Love will make us a better people.

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  • by Alex
  • Sep 2010

This poem seriously describes my life down to every last detail except the fact that my mom does crack instead of meth. She went from being my best friend to some drug addict prostitute I don't even know anymore. Its impacted my life so much and I just know exactly how to feel. Its a great feeling knowing that there is someone out there that understands the pain. I'm sorry for the pain your mom and her drug has caused you. We just really need to break the cycle and rise above our parents.
Thank you for this beautiful poem.

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  • by Brandi, MO USA
  • Jul 2010

hi I'm 16 yrs old and my mom is addicted to meth recently she was arrested for stabbing her husband because they were fighting over meth she will now spend 3 to 7 yrs in prison because of this sick monster. I've wrote her so many times telling her how much I cry at night and she hasn't wrote back once.

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Meth stole my mom too, I am 26 years old, she has been addicted my whole life and still uses to this day, she has no idea how much she has hurt me or continues too. It's been very hard for me to tell her or talk about it, but this poem makes me realize I have to tell her what she's doing...It's a great poem, every word of it is what I think about saying to her everyday.. Thank you.

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  • by Laurie
  • Jan 2010

That poem was so sad. I see that kind of pain in my nieces because of what their Mother has put them through. She is a meth addict and loves it more than her children. I understand Brittany's pain and wish her the best. I hope all children of addicts will learn from the pain their parents have caused them and not follow the same road. I have seen this happen and it makes me wonder why, when they know how much pain this causes and how many lives it destroys.

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  • by Mia, South Carolina
  • Dec 2009

Wow! This is so true with my like right now... I am 13 and my mother is addicted to Cocaine... She thinks that I don't know she is doing it... It tears me apart when I see her and she is high... I just want to tell her that I know, but I can't. This poem REALLY touched me, and brought me to tears... Thank you for publishing this poem

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  • by Isabella, Chester Virginia
  • Dec 2009

My stories not as bad, my mom abandoned us for narcotics and Miss Mary Jane, not as bad as meth, but still the same concept. She was in jail, in and out since I was 8. She did it before I was born, but slowed down while I was little. My dad had no clue. Writing false prescriptions all up and down the east coast put her on 3 years probation, but she lived away from us. I've cut her from my life. I'm really sorry about your mom, I kind of know what its like to loose a mom.

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  • by missing him
  • Sep 2009

I'm blessed to say that my mother has never been on drugs but I was at a party one day and I met this girl that was on meth really bad and she was tripping. I later found out she has two kids and I know they are young. I can only imagine what they are going through and I hope that one day she will see. and I hope it wont be to late. Please don't put your drugs before kids.

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  • by lisa
  • Sep 2009

this poem reminds me of how things are. Life as an addict is scary it takes away every other thing in life

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  • by amy-21
  • Jul 2009

this poem touches me because my own mother was addicted to meth and it ruined a lot of good things in my life. my parents divorced over it, I was pulled from the home that I had known my whole life, and my relationship with my mother changed forever. she has been clean now for almost four years but the space that her addiction put between us can never be mended. I made a vow to myself that I would never put anything before my child and so far I haven't broken that promise. I don't want my daughter to ever feel the way I felt, see what I saw, or have to make the choices I felt I had to make.

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Thanks to everyone for the feedback. For anyone that wants to talk you can email me on myspace. Thank you again.

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  • by yvonne
  • Jun 2009

hi my dear, my goodness that WAS me and my daughter, I was addicted to meth for many years, it started off as socially than to lose weight than it grabbed me by every ounce of who I was it never let go of me until I let go of it, and believe me it was tragic what I did to my kids!!! but the power of Jesus set me FREE, free indeed, when people say there is no hope let me tell you the hope is in Jesus Christ!!!! His love for us is so awesome just give him that chance, He is the only way, amen,

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  • by ????
  • Mar 2009

well I am going through the same but I'm only 14 and its scary really scary I usually cry myself to sleep but this poem is so true I know!

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  • by monica
  • Mar 2009

this poem hit home hard, I too was on meth for over fifteen years, but by the grace of God I am sober and my adult children are still in my life and my grandson too. I thank God everyday for every day I'm blessed.

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  • by jessica
  • Mar 2009

Hey this poem was great I have been thru the same thing but it was my dad and he is in prison also for it me and you need to talk trust me I need some one to talk to that's been there to!!!!!!

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  • by Tarina
  • Mar 2009

This poem hits close to home, I cried when I read it. My mom was addicted to heroin for about 12 years. That poem is all to true.

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  • by Tonja
  • Jan 2009

Wow, this poem brings tears to my eyes. I was addicted to Meth only 3 yrs but my sons are what gave me the strength to get clean. They loved me enough to tell me they'd be there for me if I would only do whatever it took to get clean. It saddens me so much to know how many kids are out there with parents who wont get clean. I don't understand it. My children were my inspiration and my reason to get clean. The guilt never goes away, but I'm alive and I'm learning to live with it.

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