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Suicide Poem

This poem was written by myself one night when I planned to commit suicide and found writing a letter too hard. I have obviously not gone through with it and now by submitting this poem originally meant for my family, I feel I can move on from that stage of my life.

How I Feel

© Jaclyn
Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide.
No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.
How can I stay here and live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes and die?
I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
I plead with you now mum, let me go instead?
I wish I could take you with me, to a happy place,
Whether it exists though, is time for me to face.
Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this life's not meant for me.
Thank you for all your love, for all the time we shared,
It means the world to me, to know that someone cared.

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Published: Jun 2007

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  • Well at the moment I'm thanking god you didn't go through with it because you are an extremely promising writer! That was amazing. Well done.

    lalala Submitted Oct 2008
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  • I'm actually crying.....

    Lula Submitted Nov 2008
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  • omg so so sad!
    I've felt this way before...always attempt but never can do

    marissa Submitted Dec 2008
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  • Wow, this is amazing!! I mean it. it really opened my eyes to what people are going through everyday. sometimes I feel the same way...I know to watch out for everyone to see if everything is OK. I'm glad you didn't go through with hurting yourself and all the people that REALLY DO CARE:)

    Adrienne Submitted Dec 2008
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  • I know how you feel. I've felt this way before. This was an incredible poem! Incredible, truly!
    Thank you for sharing and God bless you.

    GiGi Submitted Dec 2008
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  • I know people probably say this a lot but I know how you feel. Suicide is something I often think about. No one in my life really cared about me. I'm the outcast of my whole family. But as they saw how close to death I was they showed me. people do care if you let them into your life and tell them whatever is on your mind.
    so thank you for sharing.

    Larenda Submitted Feb 2009
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  • This really touched me.. I have been to that point. I have been to the point of wanting to commit suicide and it is a scary place. I tried to write a letter like this once but I shredded it. To this day I think that the only reason I didn't go through with it was because I was scared I would fail and I would have to face everyone again. I was scared I would not even be able to succeed at suicide. I am glad I didn't though and I have given that part of my life to God. I have found joy in him and I am so happy I am still alive today and did not end my life. I am so glad that you did not go through with it and that you are moving on and putting this behind you. thanks for posting this it touched my heart

    Emma Submitted Mar 2009
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  • It's beautiful. I've been to that point too. But I'm so glad now that I didn't go through with it. Life is beautiful and so worth it, even though I learned that the hard way. Keep it up, you're an amazing writer.

    Keisha Submitted Jul 2009
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  • This is actually how I feel right now...
    I wanted to print this poem out and give it to my mom, but I'm scared that she will freak out and go insane. so I'm not going tooo...
    But, like Emma said," I am scared I wouldn't be able to do it" that's my point to..
    So thanks you. your an amazing writer.!!

    Taylor Submitted Oct 2009
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  • I'm using this for my English project (NOT PLAGIARIZED, I JUST HAVE TO COMPARE A POEM) but this is so great, I'm so glad you didn't hurt your self and could share this great poem with me.

    Amazing Submitted Dec 2009
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  • I'm also using this poem (no plagiarizing either) for an English project, but it's really nice to hear about other people not taking their lives. I recently went through very tough times with depression and occasional thoughts of suicide and social anxiety, but I am currently feeling so much better. We are put on Earth for a reason, so it's good that we are able to pull through tough times.

    Charlie Submitted Dec 2009
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  • Hey Charlie / Amazing, glad to hear you think my poem is worth using in your english classes :)
    Let me know how you get on xx

    Jaclyn Submitted Jan 2010
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  • wow. yes this poem is... amazing. I actually want to cry because I want to know that someone actually cares for ME. Not the "pretty" mask that people see. But the person on the inside that's always wanting to cry out for help.

    Hannah, Las Vegas, NV Submitted Mar 2010
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  • Wow incredible poem. Wish I could write like that.
    I know how you have felt because I have that all the time. I haven't attempted suicide but I have seriously considered it and I have slit my wrists and other places. If it wasn't for a friend at school I wouldn't be here any more.
    Beautiful poem, thank god you didn't go through with it you have a good future ahead of you. You could publish poems at that standard, honestly.

    Zoe, UK Submitted Apr 2010
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  • How did you overcome this feeling? I have been feeling like this for quite some time and recently held a gun to my head but couldn't pull the trigger despite how badly I wanted to. Any advice on how to get past this feeling would be great. Great poem by the way.

    Jake Submitted Jun 2010
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  • Hi Jake - I'm so glad you didn't go through with it. There is so much help out there now regarding mental health, you need to find what works for you - be that medication, psychiatry, psychology, etc. There is nothing in this life you cannot overcome! It is a hard struggle but I for one refuse to play the victim and I will not put my friends/family through the heartache of me taking my own life. Go to your doctor. This is YOUR life, you are important, you deserve to experience all life has to offer, no good will come from ending it. Good luck.

    Jaclyn, Scotland Submitted Jun 2010
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  • Whenever I get into problems.. I cry a lot and blame to god for all that, get so hyper and just think of committing suicide.. Many times I tried my best to do so but every time I failed... Don't know why I failed but I understand that the god doesn't want to me to do so.. And I've promised him that I'll never ever think of all that rubbish... Thanx for writing such a good poem. God bless you.

    Anuradha Submitted Aug 2010
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  • I like this poem very much! It touches me like a hand and I felt the words. Very inspirational!
    Yeah I do contemplate suicide a lot but can't go through with it. I must go on! Great write my friend! God bless!

    Lisa, Guyana Submitted Dec 2010
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  • I had to let you know how very beautiful this poem is. very sad, but beautifully written. Unfortunately, I can really relate to this piece of writing, and am having a very difficult time with things right now. Reading this poem, and the thought of how my parents would feel if I ever committed suicide, has completely reduced me to tears, and I honestly believe I could never go through with it. Your poem is very touching, and I'd like to say thank you.

    Char, Essex Submitted Jan 2011
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  • This is a great poem. very well written. I have had the same feelings myself still do time to time. I'm glad you didn't go through because the world would of been missing out on a great person.

    Anthony, IN Submitted Feb 2011
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  • I can't say that I'm glad that there is someone else out there who has felt the same way...no one deserves to feel this way. no one. I'm going through this right now. My mother knows what I'm capable of and she knows that if the depression gets to be too much that I will follow through with my plan. I've tried to commit suicide SO many times. but I always end up waking up to find that I'm back into my own personal hell. I wake up to find that I'm back into a nightmare. I'm sorry you felt this way. I really am.....

    Here Submitted Feb 2011
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  • This poem really touched.
    Reminds me of my cousin who committed suicide this past weekend. I miss her so dearly. :(

    Unknown Submitted Mar 2011
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  • Hi Jaclyn:

    I am the project lead for the curriculum re-development of an On-line Children's Mental Health Certificate. A writer would like to use your poem as part of the curriculum.

    We are asking permission to host the poem on our site. We would provide the necessary and appropriate citation and reference. The information will be for educational purposes only.

    Thanks for your consideration and I hope
    your situation is better.

    Scott, Canada Submitted May 2011
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  • Hi Scott,

    Yes you have my permission to host the poem on your site.

    What is the site called?

    Best wishes
    Jaclyn Dinwoodie

    Jaclyn, Scotland Submitted May 2011
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  • I don't think you understand how much this poem helped. Three friends of mine (one of them has been my friend since 1st grade) died in a drunk driving accident May 15, 2011. I constantly think of suicide just to be with her again but everytime I think about it, I think of my family and what they would go through. Thanks for writing this poem it helped a lot.

    Joey Submitted Jun 2011
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  • I've been thinking of suicide for such a long time now, and I thought that I was the only person who's going through this. But after reading this, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who goes through this. I never liked my life but the thought of how my friends would feel just reassures me for awhile and I'm so thankful for this poem.

    Jennifer,Indonesia Submitted Jul 2011
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  • Omg thank god you are still here today you made
    Me open my eyes and think, but everyone
    Knows that there is a place on this planet
    For everyone even if they make mistakes
    ;(

    Jessylee, WA Submitted Nov 2011
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  • I am so glad you decided to stay. I lost my son Dylan on thanksgiving day. he was 19. there are no words to describe how I feel inside right now. I would give anything to have him back. I wish he would have stayed to. I loved him with all my heart and soul. I wish he would have come and talked to me or reached out to a friend. I am so lost with out him. As a mother of someone who has recently lost a son I would encourage anyone who feels like the want to take there own life to seek help somewhere, anywhere. Reach out and ask for help. There is nothing that is worth taking you own life. What ever he was feeling at that time he couldn't feel how much he was loved. I will miss them hugs, visits, kisses n calls. no grandchildren to love. if you are having these types of thoughts and feelings do not wait. Ask for help immediately. the things that seem so overwhelming can be worked through. I can tell you your moms and dads do love you very very much...

    Theresa, Ohio Submitted Dec 2011
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  • I've say the same words, and even if I've been so close on doing it that special love one always stops me. All this stories/poems really help me and make me know that suicide is not the option thanks a lot :-)

    San Diego CA Submitted Dec 2011
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  • I'm afraid to say it out loud
    But this
    This is something that I think about a lot
    and the scary part is that I can actually see myself doing it now.
    I look out the window and imagine life without me in it passing by
    and how it'll be
    I think of all the people it would effect and push that aside
    I think about how and when I'd actually do that
    I want all this pain gone because I'm tired of feeling lost
    I feel lost

    Ana Submitted Dec 2011
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  • WOW Ana get help from a health care professional! You are clearly not alone, have a look at other peoples stories including the one about a mother who lost her son! If you can think of people who it would impact on then there are definitely people who care about you so do something about it - only you can change your life - don't leave it up to someone else!

    Jaclyn, Scotland Submitted Dec 2011
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  • I'm not happy to be alive, Everybody in my family can see it it's hard to talk to my mom about how I'm feeling because if I say something she doesn't want to hear she tells me to leave or go away I don't know how to talk to her to tell her how I feel, So lately I have been telling my aunt that I want to commit suicide, I think one of my sisters got on my Facebook and read all my messages I sent to my aunt. I can't stand living with my mom she grounds me a lot for dumb reasons and it makes it impossible for me to go out and share my feelings with my friends that actually care about me! I'm sick and tired and listening to my mom nag at me for something I didn't do! I run in my room and cry and listen to music and stay in there all day, my mom tried talking to me but I can't stand listening everytime she yells I think of a new way do kill myself, I came close this one day. I almost overdosed, I don't know what to do? I'm never happy. And my mom knows it, but she doesn't try to help at all.

    Cassidy Submitted 7/3/2012
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  • I have been battling depression since I was 17. I was totally depressed my junior year in high school. My father became ill at the time and I was bullied and teased through out high school. I was making a lot of attempts and God sent people to rescue me every time I tried to go through the heinous act. I am now 32 I still struggle, but medication and prayers helped me.
    I am really glad that you did not go about with your plan. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Richard Wilson, Pittsburgh, Pa. Submitted 7/4/2012
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  • Thank you, thank you SO much for writing this!! This is just so...beautiful ♥ You really touched me with this poem. I just can't explain how much I can relate to this...I need to show this to a friend, she has severe depression and tries to kill herself every morning. Thank you again for writing this beautiful, touching piece!!

    Teresa Submitted 10/16/2012
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  • Teresa, I don't think that's a good idea. This will encourage her to do it.

    Omen Submitted 11/6/2012
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  • This poem is how I feel to the "T". Yesterday I was planning to commit suicide but my father stopped me from going through with it. At least I know only one person in my family cares but that's hardly enough. My dad told my mom and all she did was just shrug her shoulder. It's hard to live in a house with someone who wouldn't even care if I died. I wonder if I died tomorrow will she be there crying for me wondering why she didn't help me. What gets to me is that my older sister tried to commit suicide and she was there for her but she won't be here for me so it make me wonder was me being born even worth it.

    Valerie, Texas Submitted 12/3/2012
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