Suicide Poem

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I used to smoke only for a while! I got my friend involved. I shouldn't of done that! We both got found out it went around the school. I felt like I had killed somebody I made all my friends …

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© Amar Qamar more by Amar Qamar

Published: Aug 2008

Self Harm

It calls me closer, its calls me near
"Just once and it'll be over"
Death whispers in my ear
Irresistible is its sweet entice
Staring down, which one to slice,
I observe my previous tries
My unseen hurt and earlier cries
No peace in my mind, no peace in my head
The quiet intelligent me, long since fled
Anger and rage consumes me
My minds demons bursting to be free
The walls of my cage finally cave
"Just be still, just be brave"
I slash down with an improvised knife
"Forget this world, forget my life"
Blood oozes and drips down the drain
A slight tingle but no real pain
A Calmness comes over me
My last attempt please, it's got to be
"Screw everyone, that's made me into this"
The very same people who I'm going to miss
Tears stream down my cheek,
My head feels heavy, I get dizzy and legs go weak
Darkness surrounds me, I get a glimpse of the abyss
I embrace the darkness, then hear a shriek...

Then nothing.... Blankness, no sound
I feel my body drifting
I hear scraping, something's stirring around
Surrounding me, I can here creatures shifting
I hear a scream, I hear a moan
I want my family, I'm all alone
I hear cry, I hear a sob
And realize it's my own
I know I have sinned, still I pray to god
"Please get me out of this hell"
I start to yell...
No sound out my mouth, only in my mind
No one to help me, no one for me to find
I've never felt so scared....
My soul finally screamed and despaired
"I give up..."

A light???
My consciousness returns
As it starts to get bright
I feel myself falling
A faint faraway voice, I hear someone calling
Brighter now, getting brighter still
I feel myself escaping from this hell
Has it been months or has it been years?
Since I was stuck in that prison,
Trapped with my fears

I open my eyes, and look around
I'm lying in a bed in a hospital gown
The worried looks on their faces makes me ashamed
Sitting and staring no one makes a sound
"Sorry" is all I say...
Mother starts crying, my farther is sad
Finding me like that, must have been bad...
I get a kiss and a cuddle,
A pat from my father,
My minds in a muddle
I still manage a small smile,
And close my eyes for a while,
I promise myself, from this day on and till I die
I'm going to be the best person I can
Or at least try
Like a old cliché
"Live everyday like it's the last"
Forget all the bad days, I'm leaving them in the past
The sun is shining, my dark clouds have vanished
My demons have gone, finally banished
Life is good, life is great,
Forget wallowing in self pity
I tell you, straight.

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  • Stories 15
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  • Votes 393
  • Rating: 4.51

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Has this poem touched you? Share Your Story
  • by Destiny
  • 7/31/2014

I used to smoke only for a while! I got my friend involved. I shouldn't of done that! We both got found out it went around the school. I felt like I had killed somebody I made all my friends cry. I told my parents and they where really disappointed. And despite all that I carried on smoking. And it all went wrong I regretted everything I did. Everybody hated me all because of these 2 girls spreading the rumors. But now I realize I was being silly. I don't care what other people think of me it's what I think of myself. If I don't care other people shouldn't either! Everybody should take my advise and just don't care!

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  • by Autumn Cervantes
  • 1/27/2014

Yes this did touch me. I'm 12 and I have cuts all over my two shoulders my wrists have deep cuts. I told my dad when he saw them that it was from pets but the reason I cut is because my mom lives in Texas and I'm all the way in Michigan she never sees me except for the summers. I've told my dad I'm suicidal/self harming /depressed but he doesn't believe me. I don't know why:( but I need help before it's to late I tried last week to kill myself but I thought I'll give myself one last chance....And I think I lost it.

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  • by Falon
  • 12/28/2013

I'm 13 and I self harm sometimes and I have given up on god because I have prayed for 3 years for my life to change but he didn't answer back. He didn't help me and I just don't understand, like if Jesus were real why can't we see him. In the bible it says he died and came back so why can't he be here now, and if he is real and if he hears my prayers then why did he let people bully me to the point I cut myself, and if there was a god he would respond to your prayers and help you at the moment you need help, and how come nobody understands how I feel and why would Jesus let people push you to the point of self harm

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  • by Skylar, Ireland
  • 12/4/2013

This really touched me because I myself am a self-harmer. I've been self-harming for about two years now. I've tried to commit suicide twice. No one knows. I don't know how no one heard my screams. When I pleaded for help. I didn't get any. I've tried so many thing but I just can't stop. My thighs are covered in scars and so are my wrists. I don't do it on my arms or my wrists anymore because everyone will see. I've been told to kill myself so many time and after two years I finally tried. No Hope. My shiny blades are the only things that helped me and are the only things that help me now.

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  • by Serena
  • Jun 2013

Well I'm quite young I'm only 12 and I have been self-harming since I was 9. Some people say I was attention seeking but to go through what I am still going through now is hard enough , this poem has touched my heart and I do this as well, I write self harming poems to try to stop but me ... I have an actual problem I have bipolar disorder as well as me self harming , it's hard because no one understands me, and I don't even understand myself, that's how bad everything is, I ask for help and everyone just throws it back in my face I'm a young girl I'm smart and I have exams in a week and I can't even sit down and revise properly without more bad news coming towards me. Today I have court against my mother! My own mother! And I don't know how it's going to be okay. I love you all thank you for this it has made me have a second thought of suicide xoxoxox

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  • by Beth
  • May 2013

I still self harm and this poem made me cry and it has helped me to try to stop. my ex-boyfriend is another reason I'm stopping because no matter how mean I am to him when I want to self harm he is always there for me no matter what and it was him that told me to search this poem.

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  • by Alyssa
  • Jan 2013

I remember when I sat in the corner of my room with a pocket knife slitting my wrists, my boyfriend came in the room saw me he took the knife away and said no baby you can't keep doing this to yourself. Then he was always by me when he saw that I was getting mad he would grab my wrists and not let go until he saw the anger was over. Now I see why he did not want me to do that He loves me too much for me to be doing that.

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  • by Corinne, California
  • Jan 2013

I know how it feels hearing death whisper in your ear. Sometimes I think of taking its advise, but then I think no I won't. I won't give any one the satisfaction. Keep fighting everything works out in the end.

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  • by Mark Graham, Fort Worth Texas
  • Dec 2012

All I can say is wow, I was Just trying to find the right poem to ease my parents mind of the loss of there son ...Me...

"Self harm"
I've tried many times before but tonight it was going to be different, I was going to end it all, the loneliness the pain all of it. All I want is love,
Is it too much to ask to be loved....?
Thank you so much this poem was perfect it saved a life....

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This was amazing and touched my heart completely. I started crying. :/

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  • by Emily, Arkansas
  • Feb 2011

I am so touched by this poem. it actually made me cry. I know how it feels to feel not loved and/or useless. I have an acting class and I need to perform a poem. I think I found it :) your poem makes me want to quit self harm.

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  • by Anonymous.
  • Nov 2009

Your lucky to have survived. and God gave you a second chance. Don't let him take this one away, there won't be anymore. If you read these poems, you'll realize how lucky you are.

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  • by Jade
  • Nov 2009

This is really sad. I hope you realized your family does love you and you understand what they have obviously gone through. I've never self harmed but I know what its like as I've had experience from friends. And I know its not a pretty site. Your right, live every day as it comes, and just talk through your problems with friends and family. Its so much easier xxxxx

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  • by Unknown
  • Jan 2009

This poem touched me although I'm not going what your going through. I admire your strength for some one to feel like that is just unexplainable. I hope you have wonderful days to come and joy without your whole life

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  • by Alex
  • Sep 2008

I'm sorry, but this touched my heart so much I used to self harm but I don't any more I help my friends with what ever I can
my friends all know what happened and they know it really is close to me
so love to you all out there because its not the end of the world there's always a way out
xxxxx

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