Carrina

While you were away today,
Some unkind words were said.
My orders you surely did disobey
When you left me on your bed.

I had told you to stay here,
To hold me in your hand,
But it has become clear -
The pain you cannot withstand.

You have wandered into your room,
Empty and dull.
You are to use me, I presume;
I will draw you into a lull.

Your eyes find me and you snatch me up.
You lower me to your wrist and make the first cut.
There was a time you were innocent; this I did corrupt.
Now bloody memories we do construct.

Amusing is your addiction,
Your dire need to play.
Daily you fill your prescription,
And the price you do pay.

Scars marr your once even flesh,
Each a memory of a cruelty at best.
Some represent a touch of crazy in your head...
But with me, we make these thoughts dead.

Run me across your skin again and again.
Use me more and more.
Now your thoughts will surely blend;
The red silk from your arm still warm.

Perhaps you cut too deep,
And now you've left for good.
Think of it as going to sleep.
We both knew you someday would.

Now you have left me all alone
When you breathed your last breath;
You've been taken far, far from home.
Now we both may finally rest.

I felt so alone inside my head,
A constant wish that I was dead.
Empty and broken, I was alone,
The reasons behind this? Unknown.

Then I let you on my life, deep into my heart,
I believed that nothing would ever keep us apart.
My whole world had fallen into place,
When my darkest feelings you began to erase.

This perfect dream began to crack and shatter,
Now I am left with nothing except the tatters.
It turns out you were only breaking me more,
Now I am deceased, deep to the core.

My eyes are now empty- not an ounce of light,
I am once again lost in endless night.
When I close my eyes and begin to sleep,
Dark dreams and nightmares begin to creep.

I awake with screaming in my ears,
This is followed by my streaming tears.
In this raw moment, I ache for you,
This only rips my pain anew.

This crippling pain leads me to the knife,
My friend that will surely end my life.