Poems by TEAH LEE-ANNE. KAYNE

I did something last night I haven't done in years
It wasn't as much fun as I remembered
The outcome was good but it wasn't great
I was almost brought to tears

I thought my memory would serve me well
The mistakes I once made I would not repeat
But apparently I hadn't learnt my lesson
All I felt was dissatisfaction and defeat

I had made a pact between Me, Myself and I
I would never do this again
But when the temptation is so strong
It cannot be ignored
It made me forget about the pact I had made before

I only remembered the good
I had totally forgotten the bad
I remembered how much pleasure it gave me
I was convinced it was the most satisfying experience I had ever had

I was so engrossed with what was happening
My concentration was  intense
I was oblivious to my surrounds
That's all I can offer up in my defense

I had made a conscious decision to take it slow
So I'd remember every stroke
I wasn't capable of doing this before
I always went for broke

It wasn't planned
I was taken by surprise
Back in the day, in another lifetime
I was able to do this all night long
Until I saw the sun rise

But I'm glad I gave into my desire
Even though at times it made me blush
I have never been disappointed
Whenever I've picked up a paintbrush

I have started a ritual
That I'm not allowed to forget
Every night we go for a walk
Just after sunset

I open the front door
I let him out
And then I scooter off
I have to wait at the 1st gazebo
If I don't wanna piss him off

Usually I sit and wait
But tonight was different
The footy was on
He wouldn't come when I called
And it was getting cold and late

I stopped at the 2nd gazebo
To see if he wanted to catch up
He come flying around that corner so fast
I was sure I'd heard an echo

I rounded the corner and reached the door
I waited the usual five
I'm not a bad Mama
Really I'm not
I always give him time
To see if there are any lizards to find

He looked up at me
'I ain't ready yet Mama, I still have things to do'
OK then, I'll leave it to you to decide
The footy's on so I'm going back inside

10 minutes later
I'm lounging in my comfy chair
Billy came in through the cat door
He stood directly in front of me
I was given a disgusted stare

He jumped up on my lap
I thought he was coming for a rest
But I couldn't have been more wrong
You are about to be shocked and horrified
When I tell you what came next

He wasn't after a cuddle
It didn't take long before his intentions became clear
Mama was about to be in deep trouble

The attack was swift and savage
It had caught me completely off guard
He was determined to get even and make me pay
For my pain and suffering he had no regard

In the blink of an eye
He'd jumped off my lap
Landing on the arm of the chair
There were long sharp claws and knife edged teeth
Flying around me everywhere

I can't repeat what I said
As I picked up the remote and gave him a whack
For most cats that would be enough
But not for mine
When Billy gets this angry
He always comes back with another attack

And come back he did with a vengeance
You're gonna pay for what you just did
I'll teach you not to wait for me
Now you'll pay the consequence

This time he drew blood
This time he'd gone too far
This time he'd brought out the big guns
This time I was left with a scar

For the next 2 days I  completely ignored him
I gave him no affection at all
I gave him breakfast dinner and tea
That was the only attention he was getting from me

He got very sad and forlorn
And as usual I gave in
I can never stay angry with my boy for long
He always gets to win

Pull up a chair, Mama and take a load of
There are a couple of things I need to explain
This is not an apology
It's an explanation about what went down the other day

We'd had an agreement
But then you went and charged the rules
You turned our walk into a spectacle
And that was completely unacceptable

Once, twice, three times you're out
You didn't wait for me at the 1st gazebo
You made me run flat chat
And then you had the nerve to slam the door in my face
Have you forgotten who you're dealing with
I'm Billy the Bengal cat

You entered my world on a hot summers day
Without making a single sound
You were in such a hurry to leave the womb
You slept thru the whole ordeal

With my head still in a whirl
I heard the doctor say
Congratulations my dear
You are now the Proud Mama
Of a beautiful wee baby girl

I brushed my fingers thru your hair
I kissed your tiny pink nose
I counted your fingers
And I counted your toes
That's just what we do
Every mother knows

I took you home as proud as could be
I wanted the world to see
This precious little bundle
That belonged to only me

I nursed you, I changed your nappies
And then I put you to sleep
I loved reading you poetry
Maybe one day it will make a difference
It certainly did for me

From baby to girl
How the time flew
Where did all those years go
I needed to fix all the clocks in the house
I needed to make them go slow

Then one day I woke up and my little girl had grown
A teenager now stood in her place
She had big blue eyes And long blonde hair
Cascading around her beautiful face

Yes we had the proverbial arguments
The occasional fusses and fights
But we always made up with a good-night kiss
Before I turned out the lights

My teenager has again grown
In her place now stood a woman
To say I'm a Proud Mama would be an understatement
When I look back at how she's completed my life
My eyes begin to well up  with amazement

She is now a happily married woman
With a beautiful girl of her own
Now she gets to sit back with unbridled pride
And watch her baby girl grow
Just like I had to
All those years ago