Poems by TEAH LEE-ANNE. KAYNE

THE CLAYTON SISTER

I have to wonder what my parents were thinking
When everybody knew the truth
They had two beautiful daughters they loved
Who couldn't stand being under the same roof

Everyone could see
But nobody said a word
Why didn't my parents take note
And put an end to this feud

It is now blatantly clear
What caused this affray to begin
Mums first baby girl died
When the second baby rocked up
She was terrified it would happen again
She lived in fear

Her heart was filled to overflowing
She had so much love to give
But this new baby didn't want it
She didn't need  affection to live

That broke my Mums heart
She had a baby she couldn't cuddle
Feed me, change me and put me down
Mum felt like she was living in a bubble

Then 4 years later
Along comes little Miss Needy Me
I wanted cuddles
I wanted affection
I wanted all the love they could give
I gave this family destiny

Mum was so happy
She finally had a baby she was allowed to love
I was smothered with love and affection
This time there was no rejection

I'm assuming all this was noticed
By my older sister
It wouldn't have been pleasant to see
But she brought it on herself
Her actions had caused all the attention I received

This disharmony has carried on for 50+ years
When I think how much time has been wasted
When I could've had a big sister
I'm almost brought to tears

I met the devil the other night
I was shocked and a tad perturbed
He didn't look like I thought he would
I wasn't at all disturbed

He didn't look scary or evil
He didn't shoot flames of fire
His clothes weren't scruffy or dirty
I was quite impressed with his choice of attire

He was a very striking and handsome man
That's something I thought I'd never say
But if he wasn't
This whole scenario
Would completely go astray

He had jet black hair
And menacing dark eyes
I wanna say they were black
Or maybe they weren't
Maybe they were just part of his disguise

He was very tall
I'm guessing around 6 foot 4
With a ript and slender body
I had the completely wrong impression
Of him before

He had the deepest voice
That I'd ever heard.
It was very low and sexy
To say it sounded devil-like
Would be totally absurd

He had a wicked sense of humour
Which enhanced his one
track-mind
When he looked deep into your eyes
You'd find yourself mesmerised

He didn't fit the mould of what the devil should be
He wasn't vindictive or cruel
His smile could warm the cockles
Off every living soul

And therein lies the word
That I've been searching for
To make my poem complete
I now know why he's here on Earth
He's here for my soul to compete

AND THAT IS HOW IT IS DONE

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I can remember clearly the pain I felt
With my first broken heart
I was all of 16 years old
My dating life had just begun to start

I was dropped like a lead balloon
I spent the day walking around the house crying
For God's sake girl wake up to yourself and get over him
At least now you are free
And I am sure we've all heard this one
There are plenty of fish in the sea

When my girl was 16
Her heart had been broken just like mine
Your first heartbreak isn't easily forgotten
It doesn't turn back with the hands of time

Not unless you get some help
From someone who's been there, done that
Luckily for her it was her mother
I was more than willing to be handed the bat

I gave her the day off school
I gave her a Jackie Collins book
I told her to spend the day in the pool

When I got home the house was quiet
But then I heard a couple of sighs
I found her in her bedroom reading
What I saw was a sight for sore eyes

She was somewhat burnt
From spending too long in the pool
It was quite obvious she was still absorbed in the Jackie C book
Her mother ain't no fool

Did you have a good day sweetheart
Did you have any phone calls
She didn't even look
She was too engrossed in the book

I was just wondering if 'what's his name' had called
Finally I had her attention
She looked up at me standing at the door
What on earth are you talking about Mum
She seemed to have forgotten the pain she'd been suffering
Just the day before

You know, the love of your life
That boy you were in love with yesterday
Oh Mum, get over it
I haven't thought about him at all today

She turned back to the book
She was concentrating so hard on her reading
Apparently I was the guilty one
I was interrupting and superseding

I smiled as I walked away
I had done the opposite to what my Mother did
I wasn't about to let history repeat itself
I was proud of the way I had handled it

My girl was oblivious to her pain
The book, the pool and her solitude had done the job
I have no reservations about doing it again

I take my parenting very seriously
This responsibility I will never shun
I rubbed my hands together as I walked away
I gave myself a pat on the back
'And that is how it is done'

You entered my world on a hot summers day
Without making a single sound
You were in such a hurry to leave the womb
You slept thru the whole ordeal

With my head still in a whirl
I heard the doctor say
Congratulations my dear
You are now the Proud Mama
Of a beautiful wee baby girl

I brushed my fingers thru your hair
I kissed your tiny pink nose
I counted your fingers
And I counted your toes
That's just what we do
Every mother knows

I took you home as proud as could be
I wanted the world to see
This precious little bundle
That belonged to only me

I nursed you, I changed your nappies
And then I put you to sleep
I loved reading you poetry
Maybe one day it will make a difference
It certainly did for me

From baby to girl
How the time flew
Where did all those years go
I needed to fix all the clocks in the house
I needed to make them go slow

Then one day I woke up and my little girl had grown
A teenager now stood in her place
She had big blue eyes And long blonde hair
Cascading around her beautiful face

Yes we had the proverbial arguments
The occasional fusses and fights
But we always made up with a good-night kiss
Before I turned out the lights

My teenager has again grown
In her place now stood a woman
To say I'm a Proud Mama would be an understatement
When I look back at how she's completed my life
My eyes begin to well up  with amazement

She is now a happily married woman
With a beautiful girl of her own
Now she gets to sit back with unbridled pride
And watch her baby girl grow
Just like I had to
All those years ago

I was busy decorating the Christmas tree
Carefully placing tinsel and baubles all around
Although I had an energetic 4 year old in the living room
I couldn't hear a single sound

By the time I got to laying the lights
Curiosity made me investigate
She was sitting at the bottom of the staires
Looking sad and forlorn and desperate

She had been playing with the tinsel
And put it in her mouth
I could hear her start to choke
As she tried to regurgitate  it out

She had sucked it up too hard
Causing it to slide down her throat
The chances of her getting it out herself
Were nothing short of remote

What have you done you silly girl
She was staring at me intensely
She couldn't talk as her mouth was full of tinsel
Being the point of entry

I gave the tinsel a tiny pull but it wouldn't move
It was tangled up inside her tummy
I could see in her eyes she was scared
Please do something to help me Mummy

I put in an urgent phone call
To someone who would know more than me
She could hear the fear in my voice
As I pleaded my case desperately

There's nothing you can do
If it's gone down further than her mouth
You will have to have patience and wait till tomorrow
And pray to God the other end it comes out

I retrieved a pair of scissors and cut it
Fearing she would panic and suck in more
I picked her up and gave her a cuddle
Her little throat must have been so raw

And lo and behold the following day it was out
I heaved a sigh of relief
I wasn't shocked or surprised at this dilemma
She had always been full of mischief

The reason this story just came to mind
Is because Billy keeps chasing the cotton
The memory of this happening to a previous fur-baby
Has never been forgotten

I was busy decorating the Christmas tree
Carefully placing tinsel and baubles all around
Although I had a noisy energetic 4 year old in the living room
I couldn't hear a single sound

By the time I got to laying the lights
Curiosity made me investigate
She was sitting at the bottom of the staires
Looking sad and forlorn and desperate

She had been playing with the tinsel
And put it in her mouth
I could see she was starting to choke
As she tried to regurgitate it out

She had sucked it up too hard
Causing it to slide down her throat
The chances of her getting it out herself
Were nothing short of remote

What have you done you silly girl
She was staring at me intensely
She couldn't talk as her mouth was full of tinsel
Being the point of entry

I gave the tinsel a tiny pull but it wouldn't move
It was tangled up inside her tummy
I could see in her eyes she was pleading at me
Please do something to help me Mummy

I put in an urgent phone call
To someone who would know more than me
She could hear the fear in my voice
As I pleaded my case desperately

There's nothing you can do
If it's gone down further than her mouth
You will have to have patience and wait till tomorrow
And pray to God the other end it comes out

I retrieved a pair of scissors and cut it
Fearing she would panic and suck in more
I picked her up and gave her a cuddle
Her little throat must have been so raw

And lo and behold the following day it was out
I heaved a sigh of relief
I wasn't shocked or surprised this had happened
She had always been full of mischief

The reason this story has just come to mind
Is because Billy keeps chasing the cotton
The fear I felt when this happened to a previous fur-baby
Has never been forgotten

As you turn back the hands of time
And remember the implausible moments that have been
Do you shake your head in disbelief
Or do you believe and take it on the chin?

You all know about my stint in the crazy place
And what was going on behind my back
My family had gotten rid of all my goods and chattels
They had even killed my cat

I was sitting out in the crazy place  courtyard reading
Surrounded by my newfound friends
One of them pointed up to the sky
There was something that was long, white and fluffy that had caught her eye

The courtyard was contained by a 10' high rock wall
There was no wind so I couldn't blame the weather
Although I'd not seen a bird all day
Common sense said it was probably a feather

In all the space of the courtyard it could have landed
It made a beeline for my lap
I was wide awake I wasn't dreaming
I wasn't taking a wee nap

The closer it got the more confusion reigned
Although it was small, it's details stood out
It was long and fluffy and white
I don't know why, but I couldn't let it out of my sight

I didn't move, I was frozen in shock
I wasn't game to engage
But then a tiny wift of wind emerged
Floating it onto the previous page

The book I'd been reading was Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
Not what you would call a classic
But there were
specific words in that specific paragraph that caught my eye
'Now is the time to say goodbye'
Maybe you have a tolerance
Has your penny dropped yet?
Yeah, it took awhile for mine to drop too
It wasn't until I put A, B and C together
That I realised it wasn't a feather

I couldn't believe what I was seeing
This type of long white fluffy tuft of hair
Could only have come from my Joe
He had lots and lots of long white fluffy tufts of hair
Between each and every toe

Unbeknownst to me at the time
This was the day my
Joey had been killed
He had sent me something only I would recognise
Tears welled up in my eyes

Over the top?
What a load of hogwash?
This story is not up to you to believe
If you had known the depth of our love
Maybe would you have more tolerance
Methinks It would nullify your nonchalance

I did something last night I haven't done in years
It wasn't as much fun as I remembered
The outcome was good but it wasn't great
I was almost brought to tears

I thought my memory would serve me well
The mistakes I once made I would not repeat
But apparently I hadn't learnt my lesson
All I felt was dissatisfaction and defeat

I had made a pact between Me, Myself and I
I would never do this again
But when the temptation is so strong
It cannot be ignored
It made me forget about the pact I had made before

I only remembered the good
I had totally forgotten the bad
I remembered how much pleasure it gave me
I was convinced it was the most satisfying experience I had ever had

I was so engrossed with what was happening
My concentration was  intense
I was oblivious to my surrounds
That's all I can offer up in my defense

I had made a conscious decision to take it slow
So I'd remember every stroke
I wasn't capable of doing this before
I always went for broke

It wasn't planned
I was taken by surprise
Back in the day, in another lifetime
I was able to do this all night long
Until I saw the sun rise

But I'm glad I gave into my desire
Even though at times it made me blush
I have never been disappointed
Whenever I've picked up a paintbrush

I have started a ritual
That I'm not allowed to forget
Every night we go for a walk
Just after sunset

I open the front door
I let him out
And then I scooter off
I have to wait at the 1st gazebo
If I don't wanna piss him off

Usually I sit and wait
But tonight was different
The footy was on
He wouldn't come when I called
And it was getting cold and late

I stopped at the 2nd gazebo
To see if he wanted to catch up
He come flying around that corner so fast
I was sure I'd heard an echo

I rounded the corner and reached the door
I waited the usual five
I'm not a bad Mama
Really I'm not
I always give him time
To see if there are any lizards to find

He looked up at me
'I ain't ready yet Mama, I still have things to do'
OK then, I'll leave it to you to decide
The footy's on so I'm going back inside

10 minutes later
I'm lounging in my comfy chair
Billy came in through the cat door
He stood directly in front of me
I was given a disgusted stare

He jumped up on my lap
I thought he was coming for a rest
But I couldn't have been more wrong
You are about to be shocked and horrified
When I tell you what came next

He wasn't after a cuddle
It didn't take long before his intentions became clear
Mama was about to be in deep trouble

The attack was swift and savage
It had caught me completely off guard
He was determined to get even and make me pay
For my pain and suffering he had no regard

In the blink of an eye
He'd jumped off my lap
Landing on the arm of the chair
There were long sharp claws and knife edged teeth
Flying around me everywhere

I can't repeat what I said
As I picked up the remote and gave him a whack
For most cats that would be enough
But not for mine
When Billy gets this angry
He always comes back with another attack

And come back he did with a vengeance
You're gonna pay for what you just did
I'll teach you not to wait for me
Now you'll pay the consequence

This time he drew blood
This time he'd gone too far
This time he'd brought out the big guns
This time I was left with a scar

For the next 2 days I  completely ignored him
I gave him no affection at all
I gave him breakfast dinner and tea
That was the only attention he was getting from me

He got very sad and forlorn
And as usual I gave in
I can never stay angry with my boy for long
He always gets to win

Pull up a chair, Mama and take a load of
There are a couple of things I need to explain
This is not an apology
It's an explanation about what went down the other day

We'd had an agreement
But then you went and charged the rules
You turned our walk into a spectacle
And that was completely unacceptable

Once, twice, three times you're out
You didn't wait for me at the 1st gazebo
You made me run flat chat
And then you had the nerve to slam the door in my face
Have you forgotten who you're dealing with
I'm Billy the Bengal cat