Vanessa Kershaw

I wished so much
for my biological dad,
but now that I've got him,
I'm feeling very sad.

My world, my guide, my father
who I know nothing about.
I pretend to laugh and smile,
but really I scream and shout.

I don't feel like his daughter.
I feel second best.
He hasn't made the effort
like he has with all the rest.

He is nothing special;
that I now can see.
He is scared and lonely
and frightened, just like me.

So much of my life
has just been lost.
I just want his love
and things that don't cost.

But he doesn't want to know.
He won't even try.
He's the reason I hate
and also why I cry!

the clock is ticking
and time is passing by
I love him very much
and this is my goodbye

he put on his brave face
told me there was nothing wrong
he thought I never knew
but I knew it all along

he was diagnosed with cancer
it made me really sad
I knew he was unwell
but didn't think it was this bad

he used to sort it out
when things got really bad
now I just want to say
"I love you, Grandad"