Emily Harstine

I feel the tears fall as I lay here and cry.
Nobody knows that all my happiness is a lie.

You see, I can't really smile; I haven't in a while.
It seems like my new style.
   
Inside I cry; everything I say is a lie.
I feel like I'm going to die, but I really don't know why.

One minute I'm smiling and the next I'm frowning.
I honestly feel like I'm slowly drowning.

For I will shed more tears; I'll feel this way for several years.
When I was younger this was one of my biggest fears.

Why didn't anyone tell me life would turn out this way?
I'm crying at night and pretending to be happy by day.

I'm always really sad.
I just pretend that it's not that bad.

Stop listening to my lies.
They just hide my cries.

There's a monster inside of me, eating away at my smile,
He takes all my sadness and makes a file.

These files are all stacked up in my brain.
Now my whole life just consists of pain.

It's such a problem that I can't sleep.
Nothing works...not even counting sheep.

When I'm in public I hide my tears.
It's been this way for several years.
     
I hide my sadness behind a fake smile,
But the pain won't go away...not for a while.

The hardest part is hiding when I cry.
It makes me feel like I'm going to die.

I feel like I'm slowly going insane,
But I am not the one to blame...
           
Blame the monster.
He goes by the name...Depression.