Poems by Marcia A. Newton

Why do I fade to gray when everyone else is bright?
Why am I without color living between black and white?
Why am I held captive in a place that is unknown?
Why am I invisible and living in the gray zone?

There are no right answers, and there are no right choices.
There are too many brain knots with too many voices.
Not enough trust in the forces of life,
and no one to save me or be by my side.

It's being afraid to stay and afraid to move.
It's a struggle between two sides in a waiting room.
It's hard to let go and let life just happen
or break away from what was or what I imagine.

But, I must find balance and self-acceptance
by moving past mistakes while living in the present.
To break free from the gray zone and completely let go,
I must clean the slate and reset life's flow.

In my life's reset, I can be free
to be the person I am with a life meant to be.
I'll be ready to adapt the narrative of my life
and leave the gray zone behind to be colorful and bright.

Broken in spirit.  Broken in heart.
Broken in pieces just falling apart.
Emotional pain.  Deep in despair.
No one to love and no one who cares.

Overwhelmed in sadness.  Life out of control.
Feeling empty and lost down to my soul.
Tired of the struggle.  I'm not that tough.
Always feeling like I'm not good enough.

Imprisoned by fear, I'm ready to fall.
Feeling forgotten and feeling small.
Caught in the middle in a storm of pain,
I search for the sun, but am lost in the rain.

I need to change something, but I don't know how,
because it's hard to focus on the here and now.
I need to take care and try to be brave
and not dwell on the past mistakes that I've made.

Being broken and wounded shatters my heart,
but its part of my story that I need to restart.
God, help me to find strength to keep on going,
and I'll take a deep breath and keep on coping.

When days seem dark and it feels like rain,
you bring your light to brighten the day.
You bring a ray of sunshine along with hope
whenever times get rough and it's hard to cope.

You are charming, kind, funny and sweet.
Being crazy with you is hard to beat.
You always understand just how I think.
It doesn't matter if I'm sober or drink.

You make me smile and you make me laugh.
You make me feel whole instead of half.
I treasure our crazy days together.
It's the simple things I always remember.

When we share a laugh or joke or two,
these are the times I cherish with you.
Not to mention the food brought to share
that let me know you also care.

Your friendship gives comfort I'm not alone
to face my fears and tackle the unknown.
You're someone in my life that can't be replaced
either by time, distance, or even space.

Whenever we're together something just clicks
We feed off each other and have to think quick.
I have a deep affection and we have a bond
not many people share that our friendship goes beyond

The pull of my heart is too strong to ignore.
You hold me by the heartstrings like no one before.
Whenever I'm near you my heart skips a beat.
My heart is tied to yours to make it complete.

Heartstrings knot our lives together,
yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever.
An instant recognition that we're connected together
by heart, by soul, and by love for one another

Our lives are transformed in a natural connection.
We see each other in our own reflection.
Heartstrings have fastened our souls together.
We only see home in the eyes of each other.

Heartstrings ignite the fire in our hearts
knowing its eternal flame will never burn out.
A bond created by the forces of nature,
which only grows stronger and significantly greater.

We blend with each other in perfect harmony
like lyrics and music of a song voices sing
When our souls take flight like the birds of spring,
we'll be joined together by love's heartstrings.

We never saw it coming when our friendship first began, 
but it became a sweet romance that set off destiny's plan.
Having a love to treasure and a love to defend
is the fire and passion in a flame and a friend.

Our friendship started the fire which burns us with desire
and continues to inflame us like a raging wildfire.
With souls on fire and hearts untamed
it's all or nothing when our passions are unchained.

Only a flame and a friend know the language of the heart,
they whisper in silence when words fall apart.
Love lives in the heart where worries have no place.
and friendship's tranquility cannot be erased.

As moments are stolen in the arms of a friend,
our souls are finally freed as love transcends.
Time together becomes a heaven we embrace
as we lie together face to face.

A touch, a kiss, the look in our eyes
reflect feelings inside we can't disguise.
We are taking a chance wherever it leads
because love is worth everything and all that we need.

I cherish the moments we once shared,
those were the times when Heaven was near.
But now I linger in the in-between
torn between the past and a future unforeseen.

I am without you in this state of transition,
reflecting on my life in this intermission.
Without you in the in-between, my world is cold and strange,
a broken heart that needs to heal because everything has changed.

My past is but a shadow and my future out of sight.
I am lost in a strange space where nothing feels quite right.
It's a waiting game I play yearning for something better,
learning to say goodbye and hoping to find closure.

While I search for answers to questions I don't know,
I wonder if the in-between will ever let me go.
Living in the in-between is the hardest place to be,
but it's where I need to find my strength to set my heartache free.

While living in the in-between, I hope to find new purpose
through a journey from fragility to a place of strong resilience.
I hope to find my joy and find my inner peace,
in this pause between the pain and where all struggles cease.

And when the dust settles and this weight lifts from my soul,
I will face life without you with a new dream and goal.
I will carry the lessons learned of heartache and of struggle
as I leave the in-between behind and surface from the rubble.

Inked in attitude, it's clear to see
in the way you glance and step towards me.
A body detailed in intricate tattoos,
marked in confidence as you own the room.

Each tattoo is a blackwork creation,
a living masterpiece; the epitome of perfection.
Every inked line telling your story,
revealing the path where you claimed your glory.

You know who you are; you know what you want.
Unapologetically bold, no one dares to confront.
Your tattooed canvas depicts a man of few words,
your truth inked in skin where silence is heard.

You've always been comfortable in your own skin,
with a body created for the art of sin.
Your body beckons a devil's temptation,
the cost of my soul is the price of damnation.

A wink of your eye is your silent command
a domineering presence; a force I understand.
I feel the pull; the heat of your desire,
the art of seduction igniting the fire.

My heart beats for this man of ink
He's the art I want; no time to be weak.
His tattoos turn me into a true art lover,
hoping to become the next ink he'll uncover.

Do you feel the joy when silver bells are ringing
and when you hear the voices of Christmas carolers singing?
Do you feel in awe of the night sky's brightest star,
and feel the blessing that Christmas brings deep inside your heart?

Do you feel excited when trimming the Christmas tree,
and when the gifts are placed beneath and feeling a sense of glee?
Do you feel the bliss from mistletoe hanging above
when you get a Christmas kiss from someone you love?

Do you feel a calmness hanging a wreath upon the door,
and hope the feeling of Christmas will remain forevermore?
Do you feel the warmth of a yuletide log that's burning,
and feel the spirit of Christmas with every season's greeting?

Do you feel the peacefulness of a gentle falling snow,
and feel the love of Christmas in your heart and in your soul?
Do you feel inspired when carols are being sung,
and do you feel happiness when stockings are being hung?

Do you feel the kindness of people in their sharing,
and feel the excitement of the season when wrapping gifts you're giving?
Do you feel the comfort of sharing dinner with Christmas treats,
and feel the goodness of family and friends as you pray and eat?

Do you feel the serenity from the glow of Christmas candles,
and feel the miracle of Christmas from the Nativity on the mantle?
Do you feel the Christmas goodwill from a giving heart this season,
and do you feel peace and joy knowing Jesus is the reason?

I can't be certain, but I believe we have met before.
There's an eerie connection between us; of this I'm very sure.
You seem so familiar like our paths have crossed somehow.
I wonder maybe in a dream or a memory long past now.

I don't recall when or how, but know this has happened before
in another life, another place through a time dimension door.
Could this be a glimpse of a world split into two?
Maybe I am just experiencing a case of déjà vu.

I feel an uncertainty having somehow lived this moment;
remembering echoes of the past though I've never known it.
I'm not sure if this is real or if it's just a feeling.
I seem to sense this moment is from another reality.

I'm uncertain if this is chance or if it's destiny,
or an out of body experience, or the past catching up with me.
I have no clear recollection, but I feel an odd sensation
like a karmic energy is summoning me like an invitation.

Time stands still, yet the clock keeps ticking as the timeline shifts,
a fleeting sense of déjà vu and unaware of how to own it.
In this suspended space like a ghost trapped in a room,
I reach out but I can't touch what I can only presume.

Is what I'm experiencing a gut feeling or intuition;
a fragment of a memory or is it my imagination?
Did our souls once make a pact destined to start anew
or are these just echoes of dreams, memories or déjà vu?